


Oso gonplei nou ste odon nowe (our fight is never over)

by AbsorbingMisery, LilianaFox, nickolefox (AbsorbingMisery)



Series: Ai Seingeda, Ai Bloka, Ai Gon (My Family, My Shield, My Weapon)) [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Betrayal, Blood, Civil War, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes Friendship, Cold Blood, F/F, Major Character Injury, Murder, Permanent Injury, Sacrifice, Slow Build, Tortue, War, Wolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-30
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-04-28 22:19:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 35
Words: 80,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsorbingMisery/pseuds/AbsorbingMisery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilianaFox/pseuds/LilianaFox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsorbingMisery/pseuds/nickolefox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Victory stands in the back of sacrifice.</p><p>Many people lost their lives and even after you made it out of Mount Weather alive, somehow, surviving is still a daily fight.</p><p>The Sky People can’t survive the winter without the help of the Trikru, cultural misunderstandings lead to new problems and you have to hold an alliance of thirteen clans together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s note
> 
> This story uses characters from CW’s TV Series ‘The 100’ based on the book series by Kass Morgan, therefor we DO NOT OWN or have any rights on these characters and we are only borrowing them to fix certain fuckups.
> 
> This story originates out the madness of our brains, therefor we DO OWN the plot of this story (happenings after 2.15) as well as the following characters:
> 
> Heda Rayne kom Trikru  
> Kwin Fae kom Azgeda  
> Phobos & Deimos, Rayne’s wolves  
> Mars, Rayne’s Frisian  
> Shak, Lexa’s Andalusian  
> “Buddy”, Octavia’s Andalusian  
> Anzu, Fae’s ice bear
> 
> Kahn - Brother of Nia and uncle to Fae  
> Ishmael & Isaac – Leaders of the Shaigedakru  
> Mahana, Kwin kom Kripakru  
> Akuna, Kwin kom Stelkru  
> Kahl, Personal guard of Fae
> 
> We share this fictional story out of our free will and we do not intend to harm anyone. We will apply trigger warnings to every chapter to protect and warn you as our readers, whom we appreciate and love.
> 
> If you wish to use our characters or post our story somewhere else, please contact us first. This story is, as every story a person writes, a very personal part of us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We start off at season 2 with the end of Blood must have Blood (Part 1).  
> We ignore Blood must have Blood (Part 2).

**Prologue**

 

You did the right thing.

 

You did what the Commander has to do – you saved your people. You did the right thing.

 

You decided this with your head, not your heart. It feels so _wrong._

 

You’re walking through the forest surrounded by your warriors. Your pace isn’t as fast as you would have preferred it; the rescued are weak and slow. You hate it. Walking that slowly gives you too much time to think.

 

You think about the devastated look in her eyes.

 

You think about the pain in your chest.

 

You think about her dead form lying between her people, covered in blood. Your chest clenches around your heart. You stop walking. You can’t breathe.

 

“Heda.” _Commander_.

 

You have stilled in your stride and your people stilled too. You look around. They would follow you anywhere. They are your people. You are responsible for every one of them.

 

Indra is standing beside you. “Heda, osir souda gyon au.” _Commander, we should move on_.

 

Yes. You should move. But into a different direction.

 

“Indra, teik ai kru houm.” _Indra, take my people home_.

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander_. “Heda, yu gaf in ai konge em?” _Commander, do you want me to summon her_?

 

You take a deep breath. You know you may not come back and there is only one person to take over your place until the spirit choses its next vessel and the new Commander.

 

“Sha.” _Yes_.

 

Minutes later you are moving fast through the forest. You know that you are risking your life. You know you are risking another war with the Mountain Men. You know you are not acting like the Commander of the twelve clans should act.

 

You make this decision with your heart, not your head. It feels _right_.

 

You are doing the right thing.

 


	2. Gon wor! (To war!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore. 
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Kom wor! (To war!)**

**Today, Mount Weather**

*****Lexa*****

 

You can’t hide your grin when you step over a dead guard. Octavia will be a great warrior. She is still sloppy, but effective.

 

You stealth around the corridors, still following trails, now mostly of blood and broken doors, your sword ready to slide through flesh and bones.

 

When you turn around a corner you see light and you hear voices. You close your eyes and concentrate. There is slight smile on your lips.

 

**Years ago, Forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You were not even ten years old when Anya woke you in the middle of the night to take you to the woods for the first time.

 

“Lexa, sen in.” _Lexa, listen._

“Sha.” _Yes._

 

You stood blindfolded in the middle of the forest and she attacked you. You were sore and bruised and covered in dirt every night.

 

It took you weeks to get to a level where you could hear her approach. You still remember the proud look on her face when you dodged her attack.

 

You were so happy you threw mud at her, which you regretted after she shoved you into a puddle, face forward.

 

“Hod yu rein daun, Lexa.” _Mind your place, Lexa._

 

You laughed a lot that night.

 

**Today, Mount Weather**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You hear a gun being loaded and Clarke hissing in pain.

 

Your mind goes blank and you leap forward.

 

You run around the corner, your sword raised over your head and you jump over Clarke, who is kneeling wounded before a man who is aiming the gun to her head and bury your sword deep in his chest.

 

He falls down on his back and you land with your feet on his chest. You feel his ribs breaking. He looks at you.

 

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over_. You twist your sword which is still stuck in his chest. You turn around and look at Clarke. “Clarke.”

 

Her eyes are wide and her lips are trembling. “Lexa?” She tries to stand up. You pull your sword out and take the guards gun before you walk over to help her up. “What are you doing here?”

 

You look into her eyes and search for words when two other guards enter the room. Clarke is in no condition to fight. You hand her the gun and position yourself between her and the guards. “We had a deal, Commander.”

 

“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.” _Attack her and you attack me_. You take a deep breath. “Em ste ai kwin.” _She is my queen_.

 

You feel Clarke catching her breath. She learns fast.

 

You crouch down the second Clarke raises her gun and fires at the guard closest to you. As soon as he is falling to the ground you leap and kill the other.

 

You turn around without looking at her. “We need to get your people and leave.”

 

“Where is your army, Lexa?”

 

“I came back alone. I have to protect my people, Clarke. I can’t sacrifice their lives.” You take another deep breath before you finally look into her eyes. “All I can offer you is my life and this I do willingly.”

 

She nods at you, her eyes are soft. She regains her focus within seconds. “We will talk about this when we have saved my people and are out of here alive.”

 

You nod and step to her side. You lay your arm around her waist and help her walk. As soon as you leave the room, Octavia comes running around the corner.

 

“Clarke!” she stops the second she sees you. “Heda?” _Commander_. She crouches, ready to pick up a fight she can’t win.

 

“No Octavia! She is here to help us.” Octavia relaxes. “She is alone. We need to find the others. Where is Bellamy?”

 

Octavia nods and sheathes her sword. “In the control room. Follow me.”

 

**Today, Mount Weather**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Your side hurts. Lexa still carries most of your weight while you are following Octavia. When you enter the control room, Bellamy jumps up and runs towards you.

 

“Clarke! Are you okay?” He tries to hug you, but Lexa tightens her grip. She won’t let go of you.

 

“She will heal.” Lexa’s voice makes clear that she will not leave you out of her reach and Bellamy backs off. “What information can you provide?”

 

Bellamy scratches his head. You can’t find it in you to feel sorry for him. You look at Lexa, remind yourself to not do this now and focus back on Bellamy.

 

“We have full view from here. Most of our people are in one of the ground floors with a bunch of guards. Abby, Kane and a few others are in the harvest chamber.”

 

You furrow. “Where is Raven?”

 

“We lost contact after the explosion, but we heard them talking about her. We guess that they take her to the harvest chamber to take what they can get as long as she is alive.” He bows his head.

 

You distance yourself from Lexa to stand on your own feet. Her arm hovers over your waist. “Lexa.”

 

“Clarke.” She looks at you and all you see is devotion and resolve.

 

“We need to get my mom and Raven out. If they want to harvest them, they won’t survive.”

 

“I agree.”

 

You furrow and try to calculate your options. “We need to keep the control room. Bellamy, you stay here and keep us in the loop about what is happening. Octavia and I are going to the harvest chamber. Lexa, you try to get to the others.”

 

“Ai nou bants yu.” _I won’t leave you_.

 

“Lexa-“

 

“Em pleni!” _Enough_! She steps closer and looks at you. “Ai badan op yu en nou moun.” _I serve you and no other_. “I know you want to save your people, Clarke, but we are not enough to save them all at once. We need to stay together and gather your people.”

 

You furrow, but you listen. She is the Commander of the twelve clans. She knows how to win a war.

 

“Bellamy will stay here with you. Octavia and I will head to the harvest chamber and free the hostages.”

 

Before you are able to protest, Lexa raises her hand and continues. “You are wounded. You will only slow us down. Octavia is a Trikru warrior and I am Heda. _The Commander_. We have better chances without you as baggage.”

 

You see her flinch when she calls you baggage. You know she is right. You see Octavia puffing her chest when Lexa calls her a Trikru warrior.

 

“Okay.” You try to smile, it doesn’t work.

 

Lexa nods once at you and gives Octavia a side look. She nods back and places herself at Lexa’s side.

 

You want to reach for Lexa. You hesitate, she turns and starts walking out of the room. “Lexa, set raun.” _Lexa, wait_.

 

Lexa stills, but does not turn around. “Sha, chit?” _Yes, what?_

 

“Ste yuj.” _Stay strong_.

 

“Wich in ai uf. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.” _Believe in my strength. May we meet again_. She leaves without turning or waiting for your answer.

 

Bellamy steps beside you. “What the hell did she just say?”

 

You smile. “May we meet again.”

 

**Today, Mount Weather**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Octavia is more used to corridors and rooms and different floors than you are, so you let her lead the way. You only meet one group of guards and you make quick work of them.

 

“Heda?” _Commander_.

 

“Chit?” _What_?

 

“Indra kicked me out. I am no longer her second or a Trikru.”

 

“I know. It doesn’t matter now.”

 

Octavia nods and signals that you are close. You crouch and tighten the grip on your sword. You sneak forward and hear voices.

 

“Please, she is a mechanic and of great value. I could save her if you would just-“

 

“Shut up! She is as good as dead and as long as she is alive we can extract what’s of value for us.”

 

Octavia tenses, ready to storm off. You hold her back and shake your head. She nods after a few seconds.

 

You know that she is good, but you can make out at least four guards and six of Clarke’s people. If you want to save most of them, you have to strike with a clear head. You move forward and crouch around the corner.

 

**Years ago, Forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

“Lexa, breik ai au.” _Lexa, free me_.

 

Anya was sitting on a tree trunk with crossed legs, her chin resting on her hand. You still feel the anger inside you about her smug grin.

 

She was so sure you would fail miserably.

 

You were hiding behind a tree, at the age of eleven and four Trikru warriors were surrounding Anya.

 

It was training. Free your people.

 

You knew what to do, but you have honestly not a single memory about what you did.

 

You remember Anya looking at you with wide eyes and four grown Trikru warriors laying on the ground moaning in pain.

 

“Yu **laik** Heda, Lexa.” _You **are** the Commander, Lexa_.

 

On that day everyone knew that you indeed are the mightiest Commander that ever lived.

 

**Today, Mount Weather**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You take a deep breath and you stop thinking. You let your instincts guide you. You leap into the room and bury your sword in the heart of the first guard while you roll over and throw your dagger into the throat of the Mountain Men holding Raven down. You jump up, turn in the air and slit the throat of the third guard.

 

This all happens in one flowing movement. You hear Octavia killing the fourth guard. You scan your surroundings. All clear.

 

“Raven!” Octavia runs over to her friend. “For fucks sake Raven, stay with me.”

 

“Get out of my way, Octavia.” Clarke’s mother shoves Octavia aside and starts examining Ravens wounds. “What is SHE doing here?” Her voice seethes with anger.

 

“Obviously saving your sorry ass, Abby.” You smile at the tone of Octavia’s voice.

 

Abby is about to answer. You have no time for this. “We need to move.”

 

“We can’t move her like that. But you don’t care, do you?” Abby doesn’t look at you. She applies bandages to Raven’s wounds.

 

Octavia rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. It looks funny. “Just save Raven and stop bitching, Abby.”

 

“We need to move or we will all die.” You look around and see a cot with wheels. “Move her with this thing. We will take you back to the control room. You!” You face the other sky people. “Take the guard’s weapons and try not to kill your own people.”

 

Octavia leads your convoy, you secure the back. When you are close to the control room, Bellamy is approaching.

 

“Abby!” He runs towards her.

 

You feel anger rising in your stomach. This useless branwoda. _Fool_. You pass the convoy and hurry back to the control room, back to Clarke. Octavia follows you.

 

You are around the corner when you hear the shot. You want to scream. You run faster.

 

You curse under your breath and speed up again when you hear the second shot. You feel despair.

 

You leap into the control room and see Clarke laying on her back on the floor. She is bleeding even more. Cage Wallace kneels over her, his hands around her neck. He is bleeding too.

 

There is no hesitation when you grip his collar and pull him off Clarke. She is coughing. She will be okay.

 

You throw him a few feet away against a wall. You tighten the grip around your sword and press the blade against his throat. He does not move. You wait until Clarke stops coughing.

 

You look at her for a second. “Clarke.”

 

“Lexa, he did something at the controls. I don’t know what.” You see panic in her eyes.

 

You furrow. “Speak true or die.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. We will all be dead in a few minutes.” He starts laughing. He lost his mind.

 

The others approach the room. One of the 100 you saved hurries up to the controls. After a few seconds he falls back in a chair. “Guys, we have a problem.”

 

The others grow silent. You listen, but you do not take your eyes off Cage.

 

“The contamination protocol is active and running.”

 

Bellamy sounds annoyed and nervous. “What does that mean, Monty?”

 

“The contamination protocol draws life support off the affected floors. The protocol was overwritten; it will draw life support of all floors.”

 

Clarke walks over to Monty. “Can you stop it?”

 

You hear him typing. After a while he stops. “No, I can’t. And we have an even bigger problem. Someone redirected the acid fog into the air systems.”

 

Clarke answers. “Monty, the fog is gone. Bellamy took care of it.”

 

“No, it’s not.” Raven is sitting up. “There is another tank at the dam. We couldn’t risk to damage it while we took out the generators. It is still intact.”

 

You feel the despair in the room. Raven continues. “The biggest problem is that it is obviously not the same fog we know. And that fucking tank is fucking huge.”

 

Monty is typing again. “Okay, it seems to be a more aggressive version of it.” You hear him swallow. “A version that does not disintegrate.”

 

Clarke’s voice gives her fear away. “What does that mean?”

 

Monty sighs. “The fog will fill up the mountain, everyone in here will die. It will not disintegrate, which means it will eventually spread out the mountain and if that tank is as big as Raven says, it will move with the weather and at some point reach the Ark, Ton DC and who knows what else. It will kill thousands if not more.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	3. Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun (My life is your life)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members to major characters (mother, brother, ect.)
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ai sonraun laik yu sonraun (My life is your life)**

**Today, Mount Weather**

*****Lexa*****

 

“Awesome. We are fucked.” Octavia throws her hands in the air and turns towards Clarke. Everyone turns towards Clarke.

 

Clarke turns towards you. “Lexa.”

 

You take a deep breath. “We have to leave, Clarke.”

 

“I can’t leave my people here to die.”

 

“If we don’t leave, we will die with them for nothing.” You hear her breath hitch. “Octavia.”

 

“Heda?” _Commander?_

 

“Ai op disha honon.” _Watch this captive._

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._ Octavia draws her sword and takes your place. You turn around and look at Clarke, really look at her, for the first time since you entered the control room. You struggle to keep yourself contained.

 

The cut at her side is still bleeding, as is the bullet wound in her shoulder. She is pale and covered in sweat, her breathing is rough. You are, again, impressed with her strength.

 

You walk over and position yourself in front of her. You do not touch her, though you want to. “Clarke. We need to get out of here.”

 

Clarke takes another deep breath and coughs. You place your arm around her waist and keep her from falling over. You feel her putting some weight on your arm. She gives you a small side look and turns to Monty. “What can we do?”

 

Monty leans back in his chair. “I can’t stop the protocol, but I may be able to seal the mountain so it is at least not putting anyone else in danger.”

 

Abby looks up and throws Monty a death glare. “What do you mean by seal the mountain? While we are still inside?”

 

You sigh. No one hears it, but Clarke feels it. “How much time do we have until we need to seal the mountain?”

 

Monty looks at you for a split second and answers while looking back to the displays again. “I guess around six minutes until the fog reaches the bottom floors. Ten, maybe eleven until it will reach this floor and a few minutes later the dorms and the medical bay, where most of our people are being held.”

 

Bellamy gets closer to look at the map of the mountain. “Can we seal it from the outside?”

 

Monty turns to look at his friend. “No. It has to be done from here. I don’t have enough time to pull a remote out of nowhere and even if I had one, I would still need to program it to work.”

 

Clarke leans a bit more into you. “Monty, can you warn the people inside? Can you send a message all over the mountain and tell them to flee?”

 

He furrows and looks at you. “Yeah, I can do that. But If I get a message out, everyone will hear it. That includes the Mountain Men.”

 

“That doesn’t matter. We have to try.” She looks at you. “We need to at least give them a chance to survive.”

 

You look back at her and nod. “Send the message. Maybe some will make it out.”

 

Octavia’s voice is shaky. “And who stays back to seal the mountain?”

 

“I will.”

 

“No, Raven. We need you.” Abby grabs her arm and holds her down.

 

“Abby I am in no condition to run on my own. I will only hold you back.”

 

“That’s not the point, Raven.”

 

“You’re right, Abby. The point is that everyone is needed. There is no life worth more or less than another and my chances to get out of here are not that bright.”

 

“Raven, I won’t leave you here to die.” Clarke distances herself from you to stand on her own feet. “I will stay here.”

 

You feel a sting in your chest. “Ai nou bants yu nowe.” _I will never leave you._ “If you decide to stay, I will stay. Yu nou gon ai op hashta disha.” _You won’t fight me on this._

 

“Lexa-“

 

“Em pleni!” _Enough!_ “Ai set klin.” _I made my decision._

 

 “Lexa stop being stubborn, your people need you.” She turns towards you, stepping closer. You can feel her breath on your neck. “Beja.” _Please._ “Ai gaf yu in.” _I need you._

 

“Kamp raun ai.” _Stay close to me._

 

“Guys, it’s nice that you are finally getting the sticks out of your asses but we are running out of time!” Raven is right. You need to move.

 

“Okay this is how we will do it.” Bellamy’s voice is firm. “Monty, send that message now.”

 

Monty nods, grabs a microphone and speaks. “This message is for the 100 and all others in this mountain. The life support system has been corrupted. Within the next minutes the fog will fill up the air and kill everyone inside. The mountain will be sealed, trapping the fog inside regardless of who makes it out… or not.”

 

Monty ends the recording. “Okay, it will be sent on repeat.”

 

Bellamy pats his shoulder and turns towards the rest of you. “You will stay together and leave. As soon as the fog threatens to leave the mountain, I will seal it.”

 

“Bell, no!” Octavia turns and runs over to her brother. “Bell, no no no…”

 

Bellamy hugs his sister and holds her close. “Get them out, Octavia.”

 

“You will all die.” Cage coughs on his own blood.

 

Before you can draw your sword, you see Raven grabbing the gun of a hilariously unaware child beside her. “Shut up.” She aims at Cage and pulls the trigger.

 

“Nice shot, Raven.” Bellamy smiles at her. “Now get the hell out of here!”

 

“Brother-“

 

He takes the gun out of his holster and points at his sister. “GO!”

 

**Today, Mount Weather**

*****Clarke*****

 

You are moving. Someone is carrying you. You hear Lexa’s voice. It sounds firm and you try to open your eyes. You’ve lost too much blood and feel dizzy.

 

“Octavia, go ahead and protect the others, I will take care of Clarke.”

 

“But-“

 

“Gyon au!” _Go!_

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

 

You feel that your movements have slowed down. You feel Lexa’s arm holding your wrist beside her neck and her other grabbing your waist more tightly. “Clarke?”

 

You try to answer her but your tongue won’t form words. You feel how Lexa loosens the grip on your wrist, slides her arm under your knees and lifts you up in one swift movement. Your eyes meet, but you feel yourself fading out again.

 

“Stay with me, Clarke.” Her voice is a plea. You don’t know how, but it makes you breach the surface to consciousness.

 

“Ai nou bants yu nowe.” _I will never leave you._ “I can walk, Lexa.”

 

“Can you run?”

 

“With your help, yes.” Lexa slows her pace and sets you down without breaking her stride. You move your feet shakily and rely on her to assist you in keeping you upright until you find your balance again.

 

She keeps her arm around your waist and still carries most of your weight, but you move faster now. “Where are we?”

 

She doesn’t look at you. “Not far from the exit.”

 

“The others?”

 

“Already outside.” She swallows. “At least I hope so.”

 

You turn around a corner and see the exit door when Bellamy’s voice makes your heart stop beating.

 

“In peace may you leave this shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels.” He pauses. You hear the fear in his voice.

 

You gather your last bit of strength to quicken your pace once more. Lexa releases her grip on your waist and grabs your hand. You hold it as tightly as you can. You hear Bellamy’s voice again the second you are through the door as it starts closing.

 

“I will always be with you, Octavia. Clarke, take care of your people and our family. May we meet again.”

 

You and Lexa finally stop running and come to a halt catching your breath. You turn around and look up the mountain, feeling the tears in your eyes. “May we meet again.”

 

“Clarke.” You feel Lexa’s hands on your sides.

 

“Just a second, Lexa.” You feel the dizziness taking over again. You cover your eyes with your hand. It’s too much.

 

“Clarke, we need to run.” Her voice drops an octave and you know you are not safe yet. You look to her and follow her look to the trees a few hundred meters away.

 

The second the group of Mountain Men spots you, they start shouting and running towards you. You pull out your gun, aim, and shoot until you’re out of bullets. Three of them are falling to the ground. Another four are running towards you.

 

Lexa grips your hand and starts running. She pulls you with her and you can’t do anything else then to run again. You can’t see clearly; your vision goes blurry. Your side still hurts and your shoulder hurts even more.

 

You just lost your best friend and most likely the biggest part of your family, of your people.

 

You are seriously injured and the adrenaline which keeps you running will be used up every second.

 

You’re holding the hand of the Commander of the twelve Clans and you are running from a bunch of Mountain Men, obviously already treated with the bone marrow of the 100 and immune to the radiation.

 

You make your peace. You just want to lay down and sleep. You can’t go any further.

 

“Clarke, oso gonplei nou ste odon.” _Clarke, our fight is not over._ “Keep running, Clarke, just for another few hundred meters. Beja.” _Please._

 

You feel her squeezing your hand, pulling you along. You gather every bit of strength you can muster to keep on running.

 

A new wave of adrenaline rushes through you when you feel the biting pain in your leg, along with the sound of a gun. You feel yourself falling. Everything goes slow motion.

 

Lexa stops, catching you and laying you down to the ground. She looks at you and you see a fire in her eyes you have seen only one time before in the safety of her tent.

 

She steps over you, draws her sword and her dagger and crouches. She is staying with you. She will fight for you to her last breath. She will die for you.

 

You hear the shots, you hear Lexa’s sword cutting through flesh and bone. You hear her going down to her knees beside you, groaning in pain. You finally manage to open your eyes again.

 

She is bleeding, kneeling beside you. She looks at you. “Ai hod yu in, ai kwin.” _I love you, my queen._

 

Two Mountain Men are standing beside her, aiming their guns at her head.

 

“En ai hod yu in, Lexa.” _And I love you, Lexa._

 

**Years ago, Forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Anya forbid you to go into the woods at night on your own. You didn’t care, you were a child and you wanted to play.

 

You loved the forest in the dark, you loved the smell, the sounds, the little light that the stars and the moon spent in the middle of the night.

 

You were heading towards your favorite spot – an old tree, standing there since before the war. It never blooms but also never dies. You feel safe near it.

 

You curled up between its roots and looked up into the sky when you heard a branch breaking. You sat up and pulled out the dagger you always have with you.

 

You swallowed. You were more afraid of Anya right now than of whatever hides in the dark.

 

Your resolve hardened when you saw their shoulders moving, coming closer. “Pakstokas.” _Wolves._

 

You were only a child, but you knew that you won’t survive this. You were surrounded and there were three of them. You knew that you didn’t stand a chance.

 

When the first wolf leaps at you and buries you underneath it with all his weight, you know you are not alone.

 

“Sis!” _Sister!_

 

Your lips form into a bright grin and you crawl out under the dead wolf. She is standing beside you, one dagger in each hand. “Yu gonplei nou ste odon, sis.” _Your fight is not over, sister._

 

You look at your sister and smile. “Ogeda, otaim.” _Together, always._

 

She gives you a side look and smiles back to you. “Osir ste Heda.” _We are the Commander._

 

You were both half dead and in pieces before Anya came up with her warriors to save your sorry asses.

 

As soon as you were halfway recovered, Anya made you both suffer for months. You both couldn’t be bothered. All that counted was that you were together. Always.

 

**Today, Forest between Mount Weather and Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

You are waiting for the shots that would kill you and Lexa. You can’t look away from her eyes. She smiles at you. You don’t see her lips moving, but you hear her voice booming like a thunderstorm.

 

“Frag emo op!” _Kill them all!_

 

Lexa closes her eyes and sighs in relief. She leans down on her arm and cups your cheek. “We are safe.”

 

You hear horses and warriors. You hear the growling of something big behind you. Lexa is still smiling at you, you see how something throws shadows over the both of you. You turn your head and you see a wolf as big as a grown man.

 

Your eyes widen, you turn to your other side and you see a second one, a little lighter and smaller, but still big enough to ride on it.

 

The wolves shield you off from the Mountain Men. You feel yourself losing your consciousness.

 

When you open your eyes again, you see Lexa sitting tall and strong on a black horse. She looks as fierce and intimidating as always. But something is different.

 

You blink and try to focus. You are on a horse too and someone is holding you. You try to move and hear Nyko’s voice. “Chil au, Skai Prisa.” _Stay calm, Sky Princess._ “We got you, you will both be fine. The Mountain Men are dead.”

 

You try to focus on Lexa again. She got shot, she was injured and covered in blood. How long have you been unconscious?

 

You look over to Lexa again and you realize that the horse she is sitting on is much bigger than it should be. Your brain wants to throw some memories of absurdly big wolves at you. You shove it aside.

 

You look closer at Lexa. Lexa is holding Lexa pressed closely to her chest.

 

You shake your head and regret it in an instant. You open your eyes again. Lexa is still holding Lexa. Lexa, injured and covered in blood and dirt, leans into the Lexa riding the horse. She looks at you, her eyes green and soft.

 

You try to understand and look at the other Lexa. She looks back at you and you jerk out of your dizziness. Her eyes are as black as the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	4. Osir ste Heda (We are the Commander)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Osir ste Heda (We are the Commander)**

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

You feel the warmth of a fire close to you. You are laying on furs, you smell different antiseptic herbs; someone took care of your wounds.

 

You guess it was Nyko and you feel safe when you feel someone wiping off your face with a moist cloth. You enjoy the feeling and are drifting off again.

 

The next time you wake up you hear voices. You try to open your eyes. Your vision is blurry, but you see Lexa sitting beside you on the furs, still a cloth in her hand. She is cleaning the wound on your shoulder.

 

She is not looking at you and she addresses someone else in the tent.

 

“I don fis em op, Lexa. Set daun.” _I healed her, Lexa. Stay down._

 

Your memories start to come back. You saw Lexa… and Lexa.

 

“Sis ai au, ai gaf em in kamp raun ai.“ _Help me, I need her close to me._

 

The Lexa beside you rolls her eyes and stands up. She moves out of your line of sight and comes back a few seconds later, with Lexa. You jerk up. You are wide awake. “Lexa?”

 

“Clarke.” Lexa walks over to you, limping, and sits beside you. “It is okay, you are safe now.”

 

You look into her green eyes and you feel your heart calming down. You look down to her hand, which rests an inch from yours on the furs. You move your hand so your fingers are touching.

 

You take a deep breath and look over to the other Lexa. “Twins?”

 

Lexa turns around. “Sha.” _Yes._ “Her name is Rayne.”

 

Rayne walks over and sits down beside the furs. She washes the cloth and continues to tend to your shoulder.

 

You furrow. “Thank you, Rayne. I understand you tended to my wounds?”

 

She looks at you, her black eyes, the only thing that really differentiates her from Lexa, are intimidating. “Pro.” _You’re welcome._

 

“I guess I should also thank you for saving me and Lexa outside the mountain.”

 

She looks at you, her eyes a little softer this time. She shrugs. “Em hod yu in en ai hod em in.“ _She loves you and I love her._

 

“Let me through!” You jerk up when you hear Octavia shouting just outside the tent. Lexa holds your arms to keep you down.

 

Rayne drops the cloth and rolls her eyes. She stands up and walks outside the tent. It still amazes you how similar her voice is to Lexa’s.

 

“Em pleni!” _Enough!_

 

You hear Indra and Octavia. It does not sound good. You look at Lexa and she looks at you. Her eyes are soft and her look is pleading.

 

“Please, Lexa. Let me see her.”

 

She closes her eyes and nods. She helps you up and you help each other walking out the tent. The second you exit it, you wished you would have stayed inside.

 

Octavia sees you. “Clarke!” She starts running towards you and you want to hug your friend and indulge in the happiness she made it out of the mountain alive. She hasn’t taken three steps when Indra attacks her.

 

“You are not welcome here, Octavia! You disobeyed my orders!” Indra is seething.

 

Octavia draws her sword and crouches. “I did what I had to do, Indra!”

 

When Indra gets into a fight stance, a giggle escapes Lexa’s lips. You look at her with your mouth open. “What the hell is so funny that YOU start giggling?”

 

Lexa looks at you, a smile on her lips. “Patience, Clarke. Patience.” She nods towards her sister and you look over to Rayne.

 

She looks at Lexa and Lexa gives her a nod. That’s when she rolls her eyes again and turns towards Octavia and Indra to finally step in. Her voice is like the roar of a lion.

 

“Ai chich em pleni!” _I said enough!_

 

Rayne draws her daggers and leaps towards Octavia. She slams the hilt of the dagger in her left hand against Octavia’s throat what causes her to fall down to the ground coughing. At the same time she dodges Indra’s attack, which was meant for Octavia.

 

Indra looks at Rayne in shock. “Heda-“ _Commander._

 

“Jomp ai op, Indra.” _Attack me, Indra._ When she shakes her head, Rayne’s expression changes from annoyance to anger and she starts going after Indra, who is forced to go into a defensive stance.

 

You don’t trust your eyes. “Lexa, why….?”

 

Lexa leans a bit over to you. “She is teaching them a lesson. Don’t worry, Rayne will hurt neither Indra nor Octavia.”

  
“You know this, but do they know?”

 

“No. If they would, it wouldn’t be a lesson.”

 

Rayne hands Indra her ass over for several minutes. Indra is covered in sweat and breathing harshly when she finally drops her sword and goes down to her knees in defeat. You can’t hide your smile.

 

“Hod yu rein daun, Indra. Em shil yu Heda op fotaim. Ai tag em in Octavia kom Trikru en yu tag em in Octavia kom Trikru. Nami?” _Mind your place, Indra. She protected your Commander. I call her Octavia of the Tree People so you will call her Octavia of the Tree People. Understood?”_

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

Your eyes widen, as Octavia’s do when Rayne turns and addresses her. “En nau yu, Octavia kom Trikru, gyon op en jomp ai op.“ _And now you, Octavia of the Tree People, get up and attack me._

 

Octavia gets up, tightens the grip on her sword and does as she was ordered to without hesitation. Rayne only dodges her attacks, obviously without any effort, her expression is serious and concentrated.

 

After a few minutes she takes a step back and Octavia stops her attacks. You wonder how she is still standing.

 

“Octavia kom Trikru, yu laik ai seken nau. Wada yu klin en hit ai op.“ _Octavia of the Tree People, you are my second now. Clean yourself and meet me._

 

With that Rayne turns and walks towards you while sheathing her daggers. “Clarke, ai beda hod daun yu led.” _Clarke, I should tend to your wounds._

 

“I want to talk to Octavia.” You regret demanding it when Rayne stops beside you and looks at you. You are not sure if she is going to kill you or not.

 

“Sis. Chil au.” _Sister. Stay calm._

 

Rayne looks at Lexa, rolls her eyes in her usual manner and looks back at you with a softer expression. “Em souda sis au fis yu op.” _She should help me to heal you._ “Octavia, masta osir up nau.” _Octavia, follow us now._

 

Back in the tent you sit down on the furs again with Lexa and Rayne continues to tend to your shoulder. You are amazed by how well she does.

 

Octavia is standing a foot behind her and looks at you. She takes a deep breath and steps beside Rayne to take your hand and squeeze it. “I am glad you are okay, Clarke.”

 

You smile at your friend. “As I am. Are you okay? You got beaten up badly.”

 

She shrugs. “Chit nou frag yu op na teik yu ste mou yuj.” _What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger._

 

Rayne turns and looks at Octavia. “Ai set klin os.” _I chose well._

 

Octavia stands straight and proud. “Sha… Heda?” _Yes…. Commander?_

 

Lexa looks at Rayne. “Sis, yu na kamp raun hir?” _Sister, will you stay here?_

 

Rayne answers without looking away from your wound. “Sha sis. Yu gaf ai in. Oso kru gaf ai in.” _Yes sister. You need me. Our people need me._

 

Lexa looks at Octavia, then at you. “I guess you have a lot of questions.”

 

Octavia simply nods once and you furrow. “Yes, Lexa.”

 

Lexa leans back and rests herself on her arms. “Then ask.”

 

You smile at her relaxed behavior. “So, Rayne is your sister. She is also Commander? I thought there is only one.”

 

Lexa looks at Rayne. “There never were two. Rayne and I are the first ones to share the spirit. Rayne is eligible to act and command, but she prefers not to.”

 

You furrow again. You are not yet able to wrap your head around all of this. “What happened with my people? Who made it out beside us and Octavia?”

 

Octavia answers this one. “Raven, Abby, Monty and six others.”

 

“Where are they?”

 

“I was with them back at the camp. I left because I was worried about you. Raven wanted to come with me, but Abby is losing her shit.”

 

“Mom? What is wrong?”

 

“They lost over 40 people, Clarke. They are more than short staffed. It’s already fall, the ark is more or less falling apart and with Wick dead and Raven badly injured, they have no one with the skills to keep that bunker running.”

 

“Wick is dead? Oh my… how is Raven?”

  
Octavia snorts. “Raven is pissed. Her leg gets worse and Abby locks her more or less up. You know her, Clarke. She is a lion and hates to be caged. She deals with the rest as well as she can.”

 

You turn towards Lexa. “Is our truce still intact?”

 

Lexa nods once. “Yes.”

 

“We need to help them, Lexa. They won’t survive the winter without your help.”

 

Lexa furrows. “We will help your people. I already talked about it with Rayne. But we have conditions.”

 

“What kind of conditions?”

 

“Your people will accept our ways. They will bury their guns and learn to hunt and build as we do. They will accept our hierarchy and they will choose a new leader to speak for them.”

 

“A new leader? You don’t like to deal with me?” You smile at her and raise an eyebrow. You swear you see a slight shimmer of red on her cheeks.

 

“I didn’t mean it that way. But neither Rayne nor I want to deal with Abby. She is not reasonable and too egocentric to lead her people. Life on the ground is different.”

 

You nod. “So, new Chancellor, no firearms and proper migration.”

 

“Sha.” _Yes_.

 

Octavia does not sound convinced. “Abby will not accept that.”

 

“Let me talk to her.” Rayne finished up and you get up to stretch. “She will listen to me.”

 

“Clarke. You will not go back alone.” Lexa rises beside you, her hands are fists.

 

“You are still wounded, Lexa. Octavia will come with me.”

 

“Octavia is Rayne’s second now.” Lexa turns towards her sister. “Rayne, yu na shil em op?” _Rayne, will you protect her?_

 

Rayne looks back at Lexa. “Sha. Yu hod em in en ai hod em in. Ai na shil em op kom ai gonplei ste odon.” _Yes. You love her so I love her. I will protect her until my fight is over._ “Octavia, masta ai. Oso teik Clarke komba raun Skaikru.” _Octavia, follow me. We take Clarke to the Sky People._

 

**Today, forest between Ton DC and the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

You are okay with keeping an eye on Clarke for your sister. You see changes in Lexa and you are grateful for that.

 

You saw her suffering over years after the Azgeda killed Costia. She is opening up again, she found her heart again.

 

Lexa is your twin, you know her like no one else and you love her, you would do anything for her.

 

You are still lost in thought when Clarke presses herself a little further into you. She is sitting before you on your horse. “Chit? Yu ste os?” _What? Are you okay?_

 

Clarke turns her head to look at you. “He sniffed my leg.”

 

You would love to laugh at her, but you keep your mask up. “Deimos, bak op.” _Deimos, back off._ The lighter wolf looks up at you and trots a few paces ahead.

 

“Mochof, Rayne.” _Thank you, Rayne._

 

You smile. “Pro, Clarke.” _You’re welcome, Clarke._

 

Octavia is riding to your left. Phobos trots next to her. She seems to be comfortable around them. You indeed chose well. You will make a remarkable warrior out of her.

 

When the Ark appears in front of you, you tighten your grip on your reins. “Deimos, Phobos. Kamp raun.” _Deimos, Phobos. Stay close._

 

Both wolves jump to your side in an instant and keep walking slightly behind you on either side.

 

“Heda, did you train the wolves yourself?”

 

You give Octavia a side look and raise an eyebrow.

 

“They are quite big.” Octavia looks at them with a curious expression. “As your horse is. His name is Mars?”

 

“Sha.” _Yes._ “Mela op, loka au Octavia.“ _Head high, eyes open Octavia._

 

Octavia falls out of her chatty mood and concentrates again, as Rayne asked of her. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

 

“Rayne, I will talk to my mother first. Is that okay?”

 

You give Clarke a nod. She doesn’t need to know that you are actually glad that you don’t have to talk to Abby, because you would probably peel her like a grape. This woman annoys you to death.

 

When you approach the gate of the camp, the guards are warning you to stop and aiming their guns at you until Clarke orders them to lower their weapons and open the gate.

 

Abby and a few other Sky People are with you within a minute. You can’t help but to roll your eyes.

 

“What the hell is she doing here?” Abby walks straight towards you. Phobos and Deimos both take a step towards her, growling, and she freezes.

 

Clarke tries to get off your horse, you keep her in place. “No, Skai Prisa. Kamp raun ai.” _No, Sky Princess. Stay with me._ You do not trust anyone of them.

 

“Mom, keep calm. Her name is Rayne. She is Lexa’s twin.”

 

Abby throws her hands in the air. “Oh great, now there are two of her?”

 

Phobos takes a leap and snaps in her direction, what causes her to take a few steps back. “Clarke this is unacceptable!“

 

“Mom, please. Just calm down and let’s talk.”

 

You only agree to go inside the Ark for negotiations because you don’t want to leave Clarke alone with that woman.

 

Your wolves stay outside with Octavia. You have a feeling that this will be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	5. Graun laik oson (The ground is ours and yours)

**Graun laik oson (The ground is ours and yours)**

**Today, the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

You have been with the Sky People for four days now. You refuse to sleep in the Ark, so you and Octavia live in a tent within the fence, but outside the Ark.

 

It took Clarke three days and a riot of most of the Sky People to come to terms with Abby. You never expected Abby to be happy with the outcome, but you indeed expected her to have no choice.

 

Her people are aware that they have no other option than to migrate to your ways.

 

You took Clarke back to Ton DC yesterday. You want her to be with Lexa, who has to attend to a meeting in Polis with the leaders of the clans in a few days. You both expect them to riot if it comes to the Sky People joining the alliance as the thirteenth clan, so they have to learn your ways fast.

 

Nonetheless, it will be time Lexa and Clarke will have, at least outside the meetings, to themselves. They have a lot to figure out and talk about.

 

There is no one with your patience, so you agreed on staying at the Ark to teach the Sky People how to survive. Lexa deals with the politics, you deal with the humans.

 

You are lost in thought. The sun is about to rise and you are outside your tent, training. You enjoy the silence of dawn. A breaking branch catches your attention and you turn within your movements to take a look at its cause.

 

It’s Raven, the handicapped girl Abby keeps locked up. You see her sitting down right where she stands, watching you.

 

Normally it would bother you. You are used to train alone in the mornings, undisturbed. She doesn’t bother you. You look over to her whenever your movements allow it. She never looks somewhere else than at you.

 

**Today, the Ark**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You can’t help it. You lost most of your friends, the Ark is falling apart faster than you could possibly fix it even if your leg would fully function, Abby is even more bitchy than usual because now she has ‘a second savage with the ego of a gorilla’ around her to deal with and you feel terribly alone.

 

Your leg hurts. It’s not the fact that you can’t move it that bothers you, it’s that you can’t move it **and** it’s hurting like a fucker. You can’t sleep, again. You get up and decide to grab some coffee, as long as there is some left, and watch the sun rising.

 

When you step outside the Ark, you see Lexa’s sister in front of her tent. She is wearing loose clothes and is obviously training.

 

It looks like a lethal dance. She has a dagger in each of her hands and you can’t help but find it beautiful. After a while you decide to get a little closer to have a better view.

 

But of course your leg fucks your plan up. You nearly trip over a branch and barely manage not to fall on your ass and spill the coffee.

 

You curse under your breath and look back to Rayne again. She is still moving, but you know she is now aware of your presence, so you sit down into the grass and watch her.

 

You would love to get closer, but you don’t want to disturb her further. The sun finally rises and bathes everything in a soft reddish light. You keep watching her. From time to time she looks at you.

 

Her expression grows softer each time your eyes meet.

 

**Years ago, Polis**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You are used to stitching Lexa up. You learned how to do it out of necessity. Anya is hard on the two of you and as long as you are her seconds and in training, you can’t tell her to piss off.

 

You love Anya like a mom, as Lexa does, but there are days the two of you wish for the day to finally become Heda and don’t have to be submissive anymore.

 

You smiled at your sister. Lexa messed up a few boys in a side street who laughed at you after you cried over a dead dog you weren’t able to save.

 

Lexa stormed off and beat the crap out of them. So now you are back in your tent stitching a cut on the back of her head and tending to a few bruises on her arms and legs.

 

“Sis.” _Sister._

 

“Chit, Lex?” _What’s up, Lex?_

 

“Yu ste fisa, nou gona.” _You are a healer, not a warrior._

 

“Sha… keryon kom Heda set klin, ai ste gona. Osir ste Heda.” _Yes… The spirit decided I am a warrior. We are the Commander._

 

“Chit kom au?” _What happened?_ You both jerk up when Anya is behind you. You both hated how she managed to appear out of thin air.

 

Lexa explained to Anya what happened, while Anya helps you to tend the wounds.

 

“Rayne, chich op ai.” _Rayne, talk to me._

 

“Anya, Rayne chich op nowe.” _Anya, Rayne never talks._

“Hod op, Lexa. Ai chich op em.” _Stop, Lexa. I’m talking to her._

 

You watched Lexa and Anya fight for the better part of that night. Anya had a hard time accepting that you refused to talk to anyone besides Lexa, except you have to. That never changed.

 

Lexa defended you to the point where Anya not only trained you as a warrior and accepted your silence, but also looked after your education as a healer. You are an extraordinary warrior, but prefer to heal. That also never changed.

 

**Today, the Ark**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You suffer through the hunts in silence and a lot of eye-rolling. You would never admit that there were a few times you smiled internally at the thought of just killing all of these useless Sky People, return to camp and blame a pauna. _Gorilla._

 

At the end of the day you send the group of Sky People, all obviously impressed but afraid of you, which you intend to keep that way, back to the Ark and hunt alone with Phobos and Deimos.

 

You arrive back at the Ark when the sun settles, riding Mars and flanked by your wolves. You enjoy the looks of the Sky People when they see the two full-grown stags Mars is dragging along.

 

They make a fire and you show them how to gut and prepare the animals. You don’t talk, you never do without Lexa around or when you have to give orders.

 

You are patient as always, but you lack concentration. You feel your focus shifting towards Raven, who is sitting a few meters away watching you.

 

Every time you look over, she is looking at you and you keep your eyes locked with hers until someone else demands your attention to ask a question.

 

Hours later, it’s close to midnight, you are eating. All the remaining Sky People are eating and the mood is good. They appreciate your help and their hope for a life worth living is growing.

 

It’s shortly after midnight when Raven and Abby walk over to you. Abby addresses you. “Commander, can we talk?”

 

You look at Abby and nod once, which causes Octavia to answer with words for you. She is already used to your silence and took it over naturally to talk for you. “Sure Abby. What’s your problem?”

 

Abby obviously struggles not to snap back at Octavia, but contains herself. She sees her people being full of hope and sated for the first time in weeks. She knows that there is no use in fighting.

 

“I wanted to thank you for your help. We had a rough start, I wanted to offer peace.” Abby offers you her hand. You look at her, you know she is doing this because she has no other option and not because she is sincere.

 

Octavia reacts fast. “Thank you, Abby.” She hands her a plate with meat to fill her offered hand with something. “Enjoy a meal with us?”

 

Abby takes the plate and nods. She looks back at you. “You do not speak?”

 

It takes you a massive amount of strength to suppress your eye roll and a snort. Octavia, again, answers for you. “She speaks only to her family or if she has to give commands as Heda. _Commander._ I answer for her and I explain everything she teaches your people with words.”

 

“Your people? Octavia, you are one of us.” Abby looks at her with shocked eyes. You smile.

 

“Actually, Abby, your people locked me up for being born. I was nothing more to you than a prisoner and a liability. With the Trikru I am worth something. I get trained, I have a family. I have a home. I never was and never will be one of your people.” She rises and stands proud before Abby. ”Ai laik Octavia kom Trikru en second kom Heda Rayne.” _I am Octavia of the Tree People and second to Commander Rayne._ “There is nothing else I want to be.”

 

“Octavia Blake, you can’t deny your origins.” When Abby takes a step towards Octavia, a lot of things happen at once.

 

Raven grabs Abby’s arm to hold her back.

 

Octavia crouches to defend herself.

 

Abby jerks around to get rid of the grip on her arm. Raven struggles, but manages to keep standing upright.

 

When Abby takes an angry step towards Raven; you jump up and position yourself between Abby and Raven, Octavia is at your side within a second.

 

Your hands are resting on the hilts of your daggers. You are ready to kill.

 

This woman will not threaten your second. This woman will not talk to your people in that manner. This woman will not harm Raven more than she already did. You won’t allow it.

 

Thankfully your death glare is enough to make Abby bow her head and walk away.

 

You turn towards Raven and Octavia. You gesture them to sit down again and after you looked around to make sure everything is okay, you make yourself comfortable again.

 

Octavia looks at you. “Yu shil osir op. Mochof, Heda.” _You protected us. Thank you, Commander._

 

Raven clears her throat. “Yeah, thanks Rayne.”

 

You feel Octavia stiffen beside you. It’s respect less to address you with your name rather than your title. You smile. It should bother you, but it doesn’t.

 

You look at Raven. “Pro.” _You’re welcome._

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

You wake up beside Lexa for days now. You were so busy talking about the Sky People joining the alliance that you fell exhausted into the furs every night. You haven’t had the time to talk. You want to talk.

 

Actually you want to do a lot more than just talk. You rest your head on your hand and watch Lexa sleeping. She looks so peaceful and innocent without her war paint.

 

You stretch your other arm a bit and hover your fingers over her cheek. You want to touch her so badly. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. When you open your eyes again you lower your fingertips.

 

“Heda!” _Commander!_

 

You jerk up and pull your hand back. Indra is storming into the tent and freezes in place when she looks at you. Her expression changes from shock to anger.

 

You are only wearing a loose shirt. Decent is definitely different. You cover yourself under the fur of a black bear and wish for the earth to just swallow you whole.

 

“This is not acceptable!” Indra is raging. “Not enough you stay inside the tent of our Heda-“

 

“Em pleni, Indra! Bak op!” _Enough, Indra! Back off!_

 

You lift the bear fur enough to see Lexa throwing the fur off her body and jumping up in rage. She is completely naked and you can’t hold back the groan.

 

Lexa grabs her sword while she stomps over to Indra. “I invited Clarke to stay here with me. Are you questioning my decisions?”

 

“No, but-“

 

“I am your Commander and you will accept my orders! You will pay Clarke the same respect you pay me or you will lose your tongue!”

 

Indra bows her head. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

 

“Now leave. And if you or anyone else ever enter my private rooms again without an invitation I will not be as merciful as I am now.”

 

Indra turns to leave, but stops at the entry. “Heda, the horses and guards are ready to leave for Polis within the hour.” She leaves without turning around.

 

Lexa stretches her neck and back, puts her sword back on the table and crawls back under the furs sighing. “I am sorry, Clarke. Are you okay?” She looks at you.

 

“Sha. Mochof, Lexa.” _Yes. Thank you, Lexa._

 

“Pro.” _You’re welcome._

 

You scoot a little closer to her. “Lexa, can we talk?”

 

She furrows. “Of course, Clarke.” She turns to her side so she faces you. You swallow when you see her naked chest. She obviously has no qualms with being nude.

 

“We were so busy the last days, we haven’t had a chance to… take care of us.”

 

“I know, Clarke. We will have time on our travel to Polis and after the meetings.” Lexa moves her hand towards you, palm upwards. “And I promise you, after the clan meetings are done we will have time alone.”

 

You place your hand in hers and she squeezes it softly. Her fingers feel so soft and tender. You close your eyes smiling. “Thank you.”

 

“Always.”

 

When you open your eyes again, Lexa is closer than she was before. There is only an inch between your lips. You feel her breath on your skin, the warmth of her body. “Lexa…” You tilt your head and reach for her.

 

The second you expect your lips to finally touch, Nyko storms into the tent. Lexa’s expression changes from pure adoration and longing to blood rage. She turns, jumps out the furs, grab’s her sword and rages.

 

An hour later you are washed, dressed and decent. Lexa applies a sword to your belt. She hasn’t said a word since she kicked Nyko out.

 

“Lexa, are you okay?”

 

She look into your eyes. “Yes.”

 

“You seem annoyed.”

 

“I am. I am lacking patience, Clarke.”

 

You can’t hide your smile and she blushes. “Patience for what?”

 

She looks at you and tilts her head. “Are you mocking me, Clarke? This is not wise.”

 

“No, great Heda. _Commander._ I would never mock you.”

 

You leave the tent side by side. Fours warriors, Indra and Nyko are waiting for you. Lexa walks straight to her horse and mounts it in one slow and very graceful movement. She looks at you, then to the horse next to hers. “This is yours, Clarke.”

 

The horse is a brown mare. You can’t help then to think it looks pissed off.

 

“Would you prefer to ride with me?” Lexa shoots you a slight smile, though her voice is serious.

 

You walk over to her. “Are you mocking me, Heda?” _Commander._

 

“No, great Skai Prisa. _Sky Princess_. I would never mock you.”

 

You giggle. She offers you her hand to pull you onto her horse. You enjoy the ride with her arms around your waist and the feeling of you leaning against her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	6. Nou en, nou yu (Not everyone, not you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Nou en, nou yu (Not everyone, not you)**

**Today, the Ark**

*****Raven*****

 

You are annoyed and in pain. The Ark is a piece of crap and it is falling apart faster than you can possibly fix it. Nonetheless Abby is bugging you with repairs and problems five fucking times a day. If you are lucky.

 

You are standing on a ladder, trying to fix a power supply for the lights in the medical bay. You are constantly cursing under your breath.

 

When you drop a screwdriver, you lose it. “This damn shit can go to hell!”

 

“What’s your problem, Raven?”

 

You were so concentrated that you jerk up in surprise from hearing her that you fall off the ladder.

 

When you wake up again, you are laying on a cot in a still dark medical bay. Abby is blinding you with a flashlight. You shove her hand away and try to get up. “Leave me alone, Abby.”

 

She holds you down. “You just fell off a ladder and hit your head, Raven. Stay down.”

 

You try to keep calm. You try not to lose your shit. “I am fine, Abby. Let me go.”

 

“Raven, you are the only mechanic I have. I need you to function, so stay down and let me do my job.”

 

You lose your shit.

 

When you are limping out of the medical bay with a dizzy head, your hand hurts more than your leg. You punched her so hard you are sure you cracked a knuckle. You can’t find it in you to care.

 

Abby cares about the mechanic, not about you. She never has seen anything more in you than a mechanic, something she can use. You are so done.

 

When you step outside of the Ark you breathe in the fresh air. You look over the fence towards the woods and you feel a longing to leave. When you take a step and your leg gives in and you fall down, you can’t be bothered to get up again.

 

“Raven!” Abby comes storming out of the Ark. You look at her, take in the bruise beside her eye, smile and close your eyes. You are so done.

 

Abby kneels down beside you and tries to pull you up. “Get up, Raven.”

 

You feel tears streaming down your cheeks. You don’t even try to get up. You can’t do this anymore.

 

“Raven, get up!” Abby gets louder and angrier.

 

“For fucks sake, Abby, leave her be!” Octavia is running towards you. “Have you lost your mind?!” She drops on her knees beside you and takes your hand. It feels good.

 

“This is none of your business, Octavia. You are not one of us and Raven is still under my protection.”

 

“You call that protection?” Octavia’s voice pitches higher. “She is in pain, Abby. You let her work like a horse though you know she is in pain! Explain to me what exactly you call protection about that!”

 

“EM PLENI!” _ENOUGH!_

 

Her voice is like the roar of a lion. Everything goes silent.

 

**Today, the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

You see Raven limping out of the Ark and you stop your training with Octavia. She follows your look.

 

“Holy shit, Raven…” Octavia sheathes her sword and starts running towards Raven. You do not stop her. You see Abby coming out of the Ark. She is wounded.

 

“Phobos, Deimos! Masta op ai.” _Phobos, Deimos! Follow me._ Your wolves are at your side in an instant as you start walking towards the Ark in a slow and controlled pace.

 

You keep speeding up when you see Abby trying to get Raven up off the ground. You run when you see that she is crying.

 

Octavia kneels beside Raven and shouts at Abby when you get there. You look at Raven, you feel anger rising.

 

“EM PLENI!” _ENOUGH!_

 

Abby looks at you as if she has seen a ghost. “This is not your business, Commander. Raven belongs to us.”

 

Phobos snarls. The fur on his back is standing up as he shows his fangs and leans forward. Deimos circles Octavia and Raven, growling.

 

“She does not belong to anyone but herself, Abby.” Octavia is calm. She knows how it feels not to belong anywhere. Octavia leans down and whispers something into Raven’s ear.

 

Raven looks at you. “Heda.” _Commander._

 

You look at her and nod.

 

“Ai laik Raven en ai gaf yu teik ai yun, hashta ai nou ste klir.“ _I am Raven and I want you to take me as yours, because I am not safe._ “Beja.” _Please._

 

Your mind goes blank. Octavia is new to the Trikru, and you know that she learned most of your traditions, but she does not know all. As Heda, you only have two options.

_[Geben Sie ein Zitat aus dem Dokument oder die Zusammenfassung eines interessanten Punkts ein. Sie können das Textfeld an einer beliebigen Stelle im Dokument positionieren. Verwenden Sie die Registerkarte 'Zeichentools', wenn Sie das Format des Textfelds 'Textzitat' ändern möchten.]_  
  
---  
  
_[Geben Sie ein Zitat aus dem Dokument oder die Zusammenfassung eines interessanten Punkts ein. Sie können das Textfeld an einer beliebigen Stelle im Dokument positionieren. Verwenden Sie die Registerkarte 'Zeichentools', wenn Sie das Format des Textfelds 'Textzitat' ändern möchten.]_  
  
---  
  
**Years ago, Polis**

*****Rayne*****

 

The Azgeda warriors Lexa has captured kneeled before her in chains. Lexa was still in rage about Costia’s death, but tried for the sake of the alliance to keep calm.

 

One of the warriors, a young woman, spoke up.

 

“Ai laik Nasha en ai gaf yu teik ai yun, hashta ai nou ste klir.“ _I am Nasha and I want you to take me as yours, because I am not safe._

 

Lexa stood up and walked over to her. “I nou gaf yu in. Yu gonplei ste odon.” _I don’t want you. Your fight is over._

 

Lexa drew her sword and killed the woman. She hated to do it.

 

She was calm enough to grant them the freedom to return to their home, for the Ice Queen was, sadly, part of the alliance now.

 

But she was still angry enough to refuse to claim that woman as hers just to keep her alive.

 

**Today, the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You look at Raven.

 

“Ai laik Heda Rayne kom Trikru, en ai sis yu op ain, Raven kom Trikru.” _I am Commander Rayne of the Tree People, and I take you as mine, Raven of the Tree People._ “Ai na shil yu op kom ai gonplei ste odon.” _I will protect you until my fight is over._

 

You offer Raven your hand. She takes it. The second you feel her skin, you hold her hand tightly and pull her up. You give her a second to adjust her legs and when she stands securely, you step in front of her and face Abby.

 

“Raven laik ain nau. Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op. Jomp ai op en osir ste na wor.“ _Raven is mine now. Attack her and you attack me. Attack me and we will have war._

 

Abby opens and closes her mouth. She is arguing with herself whether to respond or not. You know she can’t, as does she.

 

She agreed to accept the hierarchy and the ways of the grounders. She agreed to bury the firearms. She agreed to be second in command after Clarke. She can’t do anything.

 

You turn around and start walking back to your tent. You feel Raven following you; she struggles. You stop your stride and stretch your arm out behind you. You wait.

 

When Raven steps beside you, she is within your embrace so that your arm is around her waist and her arm is around your shoulders. You carry most of her weight and she leans into you.

 

Octavia catches up with Phobos and Deimos when you enter the tent.

 

“Octavia. Dula yu dula en hon em we osir.” _Octavia. Do your job and keep them away from us._

 

Octavia stops in front of the entry with the wolves. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._ She positions herself between Phobos and Deimos, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.

 

**Today, forest between Ton DC and Polis**

*****Lexa*****

 

Twilight approaches and your guards are preparing your tents for the night. Clarke was so exhausted, that she fell asleep on the ride.

 

Dismounting would wake her, so you took over the duty of securing the borders of your camp.

 

You are riding in a slow pace through the forest and enjoy the feeling of Clarke resting against you. You are already an addict to her mumbles.

 

Your arms are wrapped around her and when the sun finally sets, you try to wake her as softly as you can. You press her a little tighter against you.

 

“Clarke.” You are whispering into her ear with your head resting on her shoulder. “Clarke?”

 

You smile. She seems to be very comfortable. “Clarke.” You try this for another few minutes before you start giggling, which eventually wakes her. She rubs her eyes with the back of her hands and stretches, which causes you to struggle to not fall off your horse.

 

“Are you finally awake, Clarke?”

 

She yawns and answers you with a sleepy voice. “More or less… where are we?”

 

“Still a day’s ride away from Polis. We have set up camp over there.”

 

“What’s for dinner?” Clarke asks you with seriousness which causes you to laugh out loud. “What are you laughing at, Lexa? I am hungry.”

 

Her pout makes you laugh even harder. As soon as you are able to catch your breath again, you place a kiss on her cheek. It happens unintentionally and you blush.

 

“Don’t worry, Clarke. I will make sure you have a proper dinner every night.”

 

She leans further into you. “So you intend to have me around every evening, mh?”

 

“Of course, Clarke.”

 

She takes a deep breath. “What if I tell you, I am a big fan of midnight snacks?”

 

“Then I will make sure you will have snacks every night.”

 

She nuzzles into you. “Good.”

 

When you arrive back at the camp, you eat and decide to go to sleep early. Clarke goes ahead and you make sure that every single one of your guards know that you will gut and kill whoever dares to enter your private rooms in the most slowly and agonizing way possible.

 

You feel nervous and decide to take a short walk before joining Clarke. It takes you under a minute to get impatient and head to your tent.

 

When you enter, you hear a soft mumble. You smile, take off your armor and clothes and turn to the back section of your tent.

 

You see her naked back and you can’t breathe. She is still mumbling and nuzzling her face deeper into the pillow. You try to contain yourself and move closer slowly. She is so damn beautiful.

 

You place your sword beside the furs and lay down as slowly as you can. You enjoy what you see.

 

Clarke adjusts herself when you move closer to her and you end up as the big spoon, with your arms around her. You kiss her neck and her shoulder.

 

After a while you just smile and bury your face in her neck.

 

She is fast asleep.

 

**Today, the Ark**

*****Raven*****

 

Rayne sets you down onto a pile of furs, which you assume is a bed. She fills a cup with water and offers it to you. You take it with shaky hands. “Thank you.”

 

She doesn’t answer. She just looks at you.

 

You have no idea why you followed Rayne back into her tent. You have no idea why she protected you. You have no idea what you said to her; you just repeated what Octavia told you to say.

 

You honestly have no fucking idea what the hell just happened.

 

You take a sip of water out of the cup and take a deep breath. “Rayne, what happened?”

 

She still looks at you without saying a word.

 

“Maybe we should ask Octavia to come in and translate? I do not speak your language.”

 

Rayne closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. I speak yours.”

 

You feel your jaw dropping open. You are sure you look like the world’s biggest moron. “You speak English?”

 

Rayne rolls her eyes in the most dramatic way you have ever seen. For a second, you are afraid her eyes will get stuck.

 

“I am Heda. _Commander._ Of course I speak English.”

 

You swallow. “Okay. So… what happened?”

 

Rayne sits down beside you. “You asked me for a home.”

 

You furrow. “And you granted it?”

 

“It is not that easy, Raven.”

 

**Years ago, Polis**

*****Rayne*****

 

The sun was shining outside. You hated to be locked up inside, just as much as Lexa. You both had your heads rested on your hands and the most bored expressions on your faces.

 

“Mela op, loka au! Sen op ai!” _Head high, eyes open! Listen to me!_

 

You both jerked up when Anya got angry.

  
“You need to understand the traditions and ways of your people. Lexa, explain to me the prom kom houm.” _Request of home._

 

Lexa stood up with the most dramatic sigh of history. She yawned and avoided a dagger Anya was throwing at her by tilting her head with a raise of her eyebrow.

 

“Hod yu rein daun, Lexa.” _Mind your place, Lexa._

 

“Sha, Anya.” _Yes, Anya._ “It is a request one can ask of another clan. It is the offer of oneself as property of the other when accepted in exchange for a place to be within another clan.”

 

Anya nodded and Lexa plopped back down onto her chair.

 

“What conditions must be given to ask a prom kom houm, Rayne?” _Request of home._ Anya asked you, but she was already used to receiving the answers from your sister.

 

You smiled at Lexa and wiggled your eyebrows. She kicked your leg before she rose from her chair again.

 

“It can only be asked of one clan member to the member of another clan. The requesting person has to be in danger or distress.” Lexa sounded as bored as you were. You hated school; you knew all of this stuff already.

 

“Good, Lexa. And what are the options to answer?”

 

“Yes or no. If yes, the requesting person hands themselves over as property and joins the other clan. If no, nothing happens.”

 

“And what if it is prompted to Heda?” _Commander._

 

Lexa furrowed, as you did. “Nothing different?”

 

Anya gave you a winning grin. “Wrong.”

 

Lexa sat down again, her eyes wide and questioning. You shared a look with her. You had no idea either.

  
“If the prom kom houm is addressed to Heda, the rules change. If Heda accepts the request, it has to be handled as an unbreakable bond. If it is refused, Heda has to take the life offered.”

 

Lexa looks at you again, then back at Anya. “So if Heda accepts the life offered, Heda has to join with the requesting person?”

 

Anya nods. “Sha.” _Yes._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	7. Ron ai ridiyo op (Tell me the truth)

**Ron ai ridiyo op (Tell me the truth)**

**Today, the Ark**

*****Raven*****

 

You feel numb. You listen closely to what Rayne tells you. At some point you get lost in the sound of her voice. It’s unexpectedly soft. At another point, you are just looking at her lips.

 

“Raven?”

 

You jerk out of whatever daydream you are stuck in. “Yeah, sorry. I’m here.” You take a deep breath. “So, Octavia accidentally made me ask you to marry me.”

 

“Sha.” _Yes._

 

“And if you hadn’t said yes, you would have had to kill me?”

 

Rayne swallows. “Sha.” _Yes._

 

You clear your throat. “So, we are engaged now?”

 

Rayne nods.

 

You cover your eyes with your hand and groan. “I will kill Octavia.”

 

Rayne smiles. “No worries, I will take care of that.”

 

You look at Rayne in shock. You don’t want to kill Octavia. Not completely. “She just wanted to help, though, maybe murder is a little bit of an overreaction.”

 

Rayne smiles. “She had the right intentions; but she needs to learn not to act out of impulse. She needs to make decisions with her head, not her heart.”

 

You nod. “And what happens now?”

 

Rayne takes a sip of water out of her cup. “Nothing. I will instruct Octavia to keep her mouth shut about… this. We do not have to join as long as no one knows. I can’t ignore my people’s ways, but I will keep it between us, so you are still free to do what you want.”

 

You don’t know why, but that kind of stings. “So, you don’t want to marry me?” You realize how dumb that question is the second you finished it.

 

Rayne turns towards you and looks at you with big eyes. “I… I didn’t mean it that way. I mean, you are gorgeous.” She makes a movement with her hand towards you; then she starts to fiddle with a piece of leather on her harness and stares to the ground. “I just wanted to say that I don’t want to force you to anything.” She rises and starts walking around. “I mean we don’t know each other.”

 

You start laughing. You are quite sure no one has ever seen Heda Rayne like that. “I’m sorry, forgive me. I know what you want to say.” You rise and walk over to her; or you try. Your leg hurts and you stumble. She is by your side to catch you before you fall.

 

“Careful.”

 

You look at her. “Thanks.” She holds your arm until you are standing securely. You offer her your hand. “My name is Raven Reyes. Nice to meet you.”

 

She looks at you and smiles. She bows, takes your hand and kisses its back. “Ai laik Heda Rayne kom Trikru.” _I am Commander Rayne of the Tree People._

 

You feel how you’re blushing and try to change the topic. “So, I am staying here with you?” You look around and see a bed. One bed. You blush harder.

 

“Yes. You can sleep in the furs. I will take the floor.” Rayne walks past you and grabs two furs off the top of the pile.

 

“Rayne that’s not necessary. I don’t want-“

 

“Em pleni disha, beja.” _Enough of that, please._ “Yu ste led.” _You are injured._

 

You swallow. “I still don’t speak Trigedasleng.”

 

She closes her eyes smiling. “You are injured, please take the furs.”

 

“It’s an old wound and it will always hurt. I will be okay.”

 

Rayne furrows. “Tell me about it.” She guides you to the furs and you sit down. She makes herself comfortable beside you, with a few inches of space between the two of you.

 

You love the gentlewoman in her. You never take your eyes off of her while you explain how your leg got fucked up. Rayne furrows a few times, but doesn’t interrupt you.

 

“That’s it. Abby says it can’t be fixed.”

 

Rayne nods. Her expression changes; she looks serious. “Forgive me, but I don’t believe that that this is right.”

 

It’s your turn to furrow. “What?”

 

She looks at you, her expression softens again. “I can ease your pain and give you at least some of your mobility back.”

 

You feel hope rising. “How?”

 

Rayne leans back. You are quite sure you see her flushing a little. “Massages to give you back the feeling. Training to strengthen your muscles. It will take months, if not years. If you want to, I will do what I can.”

 

You feel tears in your eyes. You hold them back. “I don’t know what to say.”

 

She smiles at you. “Mochof.” _Thank you._

 

You try to repeat. “Mohow?”

 

Rayne smiles even more. “Mo-chof.“

 

“Mochof, Rayne.” _Thank you, Rayne._

 

“Pro, Raven.” _You’re welcome, Raven._ “We start tomorrow. I will wake you at sunrise to see how bad the damage is.”

 

She offers you dinner and teaches you simple phrases in her language. You laugh a lot. When she prepares the furs for you, you sigh. “Rayne?”

 

She looks at you, you see worry in her eyes. “Sha?” _Yes?_

“Thank you for talking to me. I know you are not the chatty type. I won’t tell anyone that you speak to me, or that you speak English.”

 

She gives you a soft look and a slight smile. “Mochof, Raven.” _Thank you, Raven._

 

You sleep well for the first time since you landed on earth. You feel safe and protected. You feel worth something.

 

You would never admit it; but accidentally being engaged to the Commander of the grounders was the best thing that happened to you since you fell from the sky.

 

**Today, Polis**

*****Clarke*****

 

When you see Polis ahead of you, you are utterly impressed. The city is surrounded not only by a fence of wood and scraps of metal but also by little woods and wide fields of grass. It is much bigger than you expected.

 

You are still sitting on a horse with Lexa; you got used to having her arms around your waist. You lean to the side and turn your head and stretch to see as much as you can. You are in awe.

 

There are children playing, Lexa would probably call it training, with a few adults to watch over them. Every few hundred meters there are mounted warriors in armors that look a lot like some kind of kripa. _Demon._

 

You shudder when you first pass one and get a closer look.

 

“Peacekeeper.” Lexa whispers into your ear. She pulls you closer and nuzzles your neck. “Nothing hardly ever happens here, but we keep our little ones safe and well-guarded.”

 

“Lexa, this is… unbelievable.”

 

Lexa laughs softly. “There is much more to see inside the city walls.” She adjusts you and you turn your head to give her a questioning look. “You are aware that you are giving me a hard time to keep us both on the horse?”

 

You blush. “Moba.” _Forgive me._

 

The children already spotted you, or more their Heda. _Commander._ A few of them are storming off into the city, another flock is running towards you.

 

Lexa stills her horse and dismounts. As soon as she is standing, the children are all around her. “Heda! Heda!” _Commander! Commander!_

 

You sit on the horse and look at Lexa with your mouth wide open. You never really wasted a thought about how life in Polis is for Lexa, but you definitely didn’t expect this.

 

“Chil au, ai yungon!” _Keep calm, my children!_ “Ai ste hir odotaim.” _I am back again._

 

The children are, you guess, of the ages from four to seven or eight. There is one little girl among them that steps forward and touches Lexa’s leg with her tiny hands. “Heda.” _Commander._

 

Lexa kneels down and takes the girl into her arms. She holds the little body close in an embrace. “Chit, ai strik goufa?” _What is it, my little girl?_

 

“Heda, yu shil op ai nomon en ai bro kom Maunon.” _Commander, you saved my mother and my brother from the Mountain Men._ The little girl kisses Lexa on her cheek. “Mochof, Heda.” _Thank you, Commander._

 

You feel tears in your eyes when you see the little girl crying in Lexa’s arms. She is so much more than just a ruthless warlord. She is a protector. She is a beacon of hope. She is a mother to all of her people.

 

Before you lose your composure completely, Lexa kisses the girl’s head and sets her down to the ground.

 

She starts walking away from the horses and her guards, surrounded by a flock of running, jumping, laughing and obviously very happy children.

 

Lexa stills after she reached a free spot and turns to face the children. “Mela op, loka au!” _Head high, eyes open!_

 

Lexa crouches and all the children imitate her stance. All their eyes are on their Heda, and they all are silent. Lexa takes a look around. “Yu, zog raun ai!” _You, attack me!_

 

A little boy runs towards Lexa. She doesn’t move, but smiles. The little boy lets himself fall onto the ground a second before he reaches Lexa, slides through her legs, does a perfect roll as soon as he is behind her and jumps towards her.

 

Lexa has turned around already, takes a step aside and grabs one of his legs. Now he is dangling head downwards. There is silence for a few seconds before the burst of children’s laughter fills the area.

 

Lexa continues to play, she would rather call it training and you are not going to fight the mighty Commander on this, and you keep watching her in awe.

 

You are not sure how, but you are falling harder and harder for her.

 

When the sun settles, you continue the last miles towards Polis without horses and instead with a flock of children and a hand full of Polis’ peacekeepers.

 

You approach the city wall and a huge gate is opened for you. You are so impressed that you squeeze the hand of a little boy. He is laughing at your reaction and you blush.

 

Lexa turns her head and throws the boy a serious glare. He bows his head and mumbles. “Moba, Skai Prisa.” _Forgive me, Sky Princess._

 

He won’t let go of your hand and you feel kind of sorry for the little boy. But not even you dare to question Lexa now. She knows best how to educate her children. And all of those children are her children.

 

You enter the city, and at a point where you were absolutely positive that there would be nothing more to surprise you, you are, again, surprised.

 

Polis is a mixture of still standing buildings from before the war and tents. It is very clean and green. There are a lot of trees and areas of grass, some even sprinkled with flowers.

 

You look around and you feel like a child, seeing the world for the first time, again.

 

“Skai Prisa, ai souda bants nau.” _Sky Princess, I should go now._ You look at the little boy, which is still holding your hand. All the other children are gone.

 

You look at Lexa. “Where did they go?”

 

Lexa laughs at you. “We brought them home to their families. And Pak needs to see his mother now.”

 

You are standing in front of a tent, a woman in her thirties is standing in front of it. When you look at her, she bows her head. “Mochof, Skai Prisa.” _Thank you, Sky Princess._

 

You are not sure what to reply, so you bow your head. You look at Pak and kneel down. “Mochof, Pak. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.” _Thank you, Pak. May we meet again._

 

Pak smiles at you, wraps his arms around you and kisses your cheek. It takes you a second to react and hug him tightly.

 

“Kam raun osir, Skai Prisa. Beja.“ _Stay with us, Sky Princess. Please._

 

With that he lets go of you, bows his head to Lexa, his voice strong and proud. “Mounin houm, Heda.” _Welcome home, Commander._ He waits for Lexa to stroke his head, looks at the both of you again, smiling, and finally runs into his mother’s arms. You, a

 

Lexa stays still until the little family is back in their tent and only then relaxes her stance. She turns and looks at you, smiling. “We should go home now, Clarke.” She keeps her eyes on you, but offers you her hand.

 

You smile, take a step towards her and take her hand. You lace your fingers and lean into her. “Lexa, this is so wonderful. It is so peaceful.”

 

Lexa kisses your head. “It is. The alliance of the twelve clans brought peace to my people. I intend to keep it that way.”

 

“You united the twelve clans?”

 

“Rayne en ai.” _Rayne and I._

 

“Is the peace stable?” You press yourself a little closer to her.

 

Lexa sighs. “Mostly. But there will be an uproar about the Sky People joining us.” She stops and turns towards you. “Do not worry about this tonight, Clarke.” She steps a little closer. “We will fight this tomorrow, together.”

 

“Ogeda, otaim.” _Together, always._

 

“Sha.” _Yes._

 

You take another step towards Lexa. You feel her form pressing against you, one arm around your waist, holding you tightly against her. Her other hand cups your cheek, stroking so tenderly and you want to moan.

 

You stroke down her arm and move your hand to the small of her back, pulling her, if possible, closer. Your other hand rests at her neck.

 

You close your eyes and tilt your head. You feel her breath against your lips.

 

“Ai hod yu in, ai kwin.” _I love you, my queen._

 

You shudder and she tightens her embrace again.

 

“En ai hod yu in, Lexa.“ _And I love you, Lexa._ “Yu nou bants ai. Beja.” _Don’t leave me. Please._

 

“Nowe.” _Never._

 

You hold each other close like that for what feels like eternity. You feel a heat rushing through your body. Every little movement you make causes Lexa to react like a satellite. You are in perfect sync.

 

You feel her forehead resting against yours, her head tilting a little further. You feel the warmth of her parted lips millimeters from yours.

 

“Heda!” _Commander!_

 

You groan. Lexa growls.

 

She keeps her arms around you and looks at the guard approaching. Before she switches back to being Commander, you cup her cheek. “Lexa?”

 

She looks at you, and the second your eyes lock, her expression grows soft. “Sha, ai kwin?” _Yes, my queen?_

 

“You know I want this. I need it.” You sound more desperate than you intended to.

 

“Sha. Ai gaf yu in sentaim.” _Yes. I need you too._

 

You share a smile and the guard steps beside the two of you. He bows his head. “Heda.” _Commander._ He turns towards you and bows, again. “Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._ “I came to escort you home.”

 

The guard walks ahead of you. He isn’t turning around once. You hold Lexa’s hand, your fingers laced all the way back home. And it feels like home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	8. Ai na gon raun (I can fight)

**Ai na gon raun (I can fight)**

**Today, the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

The sun is about to rise. Raven is still fast asleep. She looks beautiful, you indulge yourself a few minutes watching her.

 

You hear the voices of the group of Sky People Octavia is about to take to the forest for a hunt. After that, she will head to Ton DC to gather a few skilled people to start building tents and houses in the area between the Ark and Ton DC.

 

The Ark is about to fall apart, it won’t do any good as soon as the first snow falls. You still have two months left. Others would worry, but you can’t be bothered.

 

As soon as the winter approaches, you will head back to Ton DC, or even Polis and you won’t leave Raven behind. So there is nothing left to be bothered about.

 

When the voices move further away and you are sure they are gone and will probably not be coming back before dusk, you try to wake Raven.

 

“Raven.”

 

Nothing.

 

“Raven?”

 

Still no reaction.

 

You touch her shoulder. “Raven, beja.” _Raven, please._

 

Dead silence. No movement. That girl has a deep sleep.

 

You smile and sit down beside her. You stroke loose hair out of her face and she finally starts to wake up. You pull your hand back.

 

She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand and yawns in the most adorable way. You sit still and watch.

 

When she finally opens her eyes and sees you, she smiles. “Morning.”

 

“How was your rest?”

 

She sits up and you scoot a little further away to give her some space. “I haven’t slept that good in… forever.” She looks around. “These furs are much more comfortable then a bed.”

 

“I am glad your night was restful. I will wait outside for you.” With that you rise and walk out of the tent.

 

You start your training and smile from time to time when you hear Raven cursing. You could go back in and help her, but you feel like she needs some privacy.

 

After a while you correct yourself, she is simply no morning person. You recall Octavia calling Raven a “grumpy morning muffin”. You have no idea what that is, but it sounds fitting.

 

When Raven finally steps out of the tent, she looks like she hasn’t slept in weeks. “You don’t have any coffee, do you?”

 

You raise an eyebrow and shake your head.

 

Raven covers her eyes with her hand and drops her head. “Fuck my life.“

 

You, again, have no idea what that means. You tilt your head and look at her. She is still mumbling under her breath and you can’t hear much more than ‘fucks sake’, ‘I’m gonna die’, ‘keep yourself together, Reyes’ and ‘fuck this shit’. You come to the conclusion that you don’t want to know what all of that means.

 

You are a second away from walking towards her to look if she is in pain, when she throws her hands in the air. “I’m fine! All good.” She limps towards you. “Okay, what do you need me to do?”

 

You start walking backwards with your hand outstretched.

 

“Okay, so you need me to just walk? I can do that.” Raven keeps walking. She adjusts her pace to yours. After a while you stop and so does she.

 

You step beside her and hover your hand over her hip. You look at her and she looks back at you. She tilts her head and smiles at you.

 

“Are you asking me for permission?”

 

You nod and she laughs. “You may touch me, Heda Rayne kom Trikru.” _Commander Rayne of the Tree People._

 

You nod once and start stroking over her hip and lower back with your fingers. You feel tension in her muscles beside her spine as well as a swollen spot which seems to press on her nerves.

 

You kneel down beside Raven and your hands hover over her thigh. You look at her and, again, she nods.

 

Your fingers follow the line of her muscles. Her leg is weakened, but not beyond repair. You are not sure if you can give her all the feeling in her leg back, but you are positive to be able to make her walk without a brace again.

 

You rest your fingers on the brace and tilt your head upwards to make sure she is okay. She bites her lip, smiles and rolls her eyes. You suppress a giggle, shake your head and remove the brace while she rests her hands and her weight on your shoulders.

 

As soon as you have the brace off, you inspect her knee. It is a little deformed; the brace was not doing her any good at all. It will cause her pain to repair the damage it has done.

 

“It is okay if you don’t want to talk outside our tent.” She pauses and you freeze when she says ‘our tent’. She clears her throat and you continue your examination. “Is it okay if I talk to you?”

 

You take her hands, which are still resting on your shoulders, into your own and support her weight while you are standing up.

 

She looks at you with the most curious and bright eyes. She is beautiful.

 

You smile and nod.

 

She smiles back and you struggle to not tell her how stunning she is.

 

“And, how screwed am I?”

 

You furrow. She is beautiful, but sometimes she confuses you.

 

**Today, Polis**

*****Lexa*****

 

You wake early. Clarke is snuggled into you and you have your arms still around her. You smile.

 

She is mumbling in her sleep again. You kiss her forehead and breathe her in. You can’t do anything to keep the moan down that escapes you when you smell her.

 

Clarke wakes at the sound, she is smiling before she opens her eyes. “Good morning, Lexa.” She stretches within your embrace, not that she would have been able to escape it, even if she wants to, and looks at you.

 

“Good morning, Clarke.” You kiss her forehead again. You could spend the rest of your life like this. “How was your night?”

 

“Good, as always.” She scoots closer and presses herself against you. “And yours?”

 

You swallow. Since you escaped the mountain you’re sleeping in the same bed and you are hardly ever dressed.

  
Nonetheless, you haven’t moved past little pecks and kisses on the cheek or holding hands. This is ridiculous. You feel a knot in your stomach.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke leans up and looks into your eyes. “Are you okay?”

 

You focus back on her. “Sha, moba.” _Yes, forgive me._ “I was lost in thought.”

 

“Thoughts about what?” Clarke lays back down and rests her head on your chest. You already figured out that she loves to listen to your heartbeat.

 

“You.” You hold her more tightly. “Always you.”

 

You feel Clarke smiling against your skin. It’s inducing.

 

“And what exactly are your thoughts about me?”

 

You raise an eyebrow. “Are you mocking me, Clarke?”

 

She laughs and you feel pure joy. “No, Lexa. I would never mock the mighty Heda kom Trikru.” _Commander of the Tree People._

 

You hear the sarcasm in her voice. You would kill others, but not her. Not your kwin. _Queen._

 

At some point you feel mocked enough to pout. And good god, she starts to tickle you. You remember being a little child and fighting tickle-wars with your sister; since then no one ever tickled you. No one was that close to you, not even Costia.

 

At some point you are both laughing and rolling around on the bed. You are happy, both of you. You feel it. You feel light and free and you can’t imagine a better place to be than here with Clarke right now.

 

She is laying on her back and you are hovering over her. You look into her eyes and you see adoration, love and longing.

 

She cups your cheeks with her hands and looks at your lips. You feel yourself shuddering. You can’t describe how much you want this woman.

 

You tilt your head a little and bend down. She strokes your cheeks with her thumbs and tilts her head. Your heart starts beating faster.

 

You lower your body down on hers, you give in to the urge to feel as much of her skin on yours as possible. She’s so warm and soft and god, she smells so good.

 

Clarke shudders when you put some of your weight on her. Her back is arching and she pulls your face closer and lifts her head to close the little distance that is left between your lips.

 

Someone knocks at the door. With force. “Heda!” _Commander!_

 

You bury your fingers into the furs. Your body is shaking with anger and frustration.

 

“Lexa, calm down.” Clarke strokes your face and your neck. “We will find time and it will be wonderful.” She leans up again and places a kiss on your forehead before she crawls out from under you.

 

“Heda!” _Commander!_ More force in the knocks this time.

 

You look at Clarke and moan at the sight of her naked backside while she is walking towards the door. On her way, she grabs your sword from the table. Your eyes go wide.

 

“Clarke.” You jump out of the furs and run towards her. “Clarke. No.”

 

She is smiling at you, her expression is soft. You know her well enough to tell that there is a rage inside her. Her eyes are more grey than blue. “But someone knocked at the door, Lexa.”

 

“I know, ai kwin.” _My queen._ “I will answer the door.” You take the sword out of her hands, grab a fur and lay it over her shoulders. “Please lay down again. I don’t want anyone to see what’s mine.”

 

With that your draw your sword and turn. Clarke grabs your wrist. You still. “I don’t want anyone to see what’s mine either.” She puts the fur over your shoulders, kisses your neck and walks back to bed.

 

When you hear that she has laid down and is covered under the furs, you take the last steps and open the door. You pull it open with so much force that it simply falls to the ground. You destroyed the hinges.

 

You stand before two of your guards, covered in the fur of a black bear, your sword drawn in your hand. “Chit.” _What._

 

The guards both take several steps back until they are backing against the wall.

 

“Chich op nau!” _Speak up now!_

 

You hear Clarke laughing into the furs behind you. Her laugh always causes you to smile.

 

“Moba, Heda.” _Apologies, Commander._ “The meeting is about to start. We will wait here to escort you.”

 

“I can walk for myself, as can the Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._ You look at the broken door. “Leave and guard the floor. No one enters until we are dressed and ready to move out.”

 

You hear Clarke bursting into laughter and you roll your eyes.

 

The guards nod and leave. As soon as they are gone, you turn slowly and look at Clarke.

 

She is still in the furs, still covered. Her face is red and she tries hard not to laugh more. You put your sword away while you walk back to the furs.

 

You laugh a lot and you begin to enjoy tickle-wars again.

 

You are both late for the meeting.

 

**Today, the Ark**

*****Raven*****

 

You like the way Rayne prepares the meat for lunch. Or more, you like the way she does it for you.

 

You look over to Phobos and Deimos, which are laying at the far end of the tent on the ground, chewing on half a stag. And that half of a stag is still in one piece. More or less.

 

“Does it bother you? I can send them out to stay with Mars.” Rayne rises.

 

You swallow in a haste and choke. Rayne walks over to you and pats your back until you can breathe again. “It’s fine Rayne. It doesn’t bother me.” You take a few sips of water. “I am still fascinated. They are so huge.”

 

You look back at the wolves. Phobos tilts his head and looks at you. His orange eyes are piercing.

 

Deimos is a little lighter, a little softer. He has a green and a blue eye and he always looks a little like he wants cuddles.

 

“Are you sure, Raven?” Rayne sits back down. “I don’t want you uncomfortable.”

 

You roll your eyes. “It’s fine, Rayne.” You look down at your plate. “Thank you though.”

 

She doesn’t answer so you look up. She looks at you, a confused expression on her face. She has that a lot with you. You smile.

 

“You pay attention.” You shrug. “It feels nice.”

 

**Today, Polis**

*****Clarke*****

 

You are leaving the house together. As soon as you are out the door, a few people are passing, bowing their heads and greeting the both of you, heading to your room.

 

“What are they up to?”

 

Lexa smiles at you and grabs your hand to place a kiss on its back. “They will repair the door.”

 

You laugh and shake your head.

 

“You look good. It suits you.”

 

You blush. Lexa gave you some of her armor and applied war paint around your eyes that looks only a little different to her own.

 

“Mochof.” _Thank you._ You smile at her. “But why do I need armor and war paint? I thought we are going to negotiate.”

 

Lexa raises an eyebrow. “This is war, Clarke.” Her expression changes. She looks serious. “Negotiations with the leaders of twelve clans are not easy.”

 

You follow Lexa into the room. Her body language changes the second she knows she has eyes on her that are not yours. She walks tall and proud, with the pace of a tiger on a hunt.

 

You adapt. You hear the generals mumbling, looking you up head to toe.

 

When Lexa sits down on her throne at the head of the table, you take the empty seat beside her.

 

“Mounin kom Polis.” _Welcome to Polis._ Lexa’s voice is strong and even. She wears her mask again.

 

You follow up with the greetings in Trigedasleng, but soon after that people are shouting and cursing. You are pointed at a lot, but you do not flinch or react. It goes on for hours.

 

In the evening, when you are back in your room, happy about the fact that the door is fixed, you speak again.

 

“Lexa, what happened?”

 

She removes her armor and takes a bowl of water and a cloth. She sits beside you and starts washing off the war paint. “Nothing that brings us further or sets us back.”

 

“So they were shouting all day about nothing?”

 

Lexa sighs. “Yes.”

 

You lay your hand on her thigh. “Lexa. All your generals speak English. Let me speak for myself.”

 

“They won’t listen to you. They are harsh and-“

 

“Lexa.” You throw her a serious look. “I need to fight my own battles. I know you are protective and you just want to help me, but you can’t protect me from being the leader of my people.”

 

She drops her head. “Sha. Moba, ai kwin.” _Yes. Forgive me, my queen._

 

You cup her cheek and tilt her chin upwards to look into her eyes. “Nothing to forgive. You want to protect me, and for that I love you.”

 

It was an exhausting day. You cuddle up and fall asleep tangled up with Lexa.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	9. Ai laik Heda kom Skaikru (I am the Commander of the Sky People)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ai laik Heda kom Skaikru (I am the Commander of the Sky People)**

**Today, Polis**

*****Lexa*****

 

You are back in your room shortly after sunrise. Clarke is already dressed and applies war paint around her eyes. She does very well.

 

She turns towards you and furrows, her eyes locked on the bundle in your hand. “Are you okay?”

 

You walk over and kiss her head. “I am fine, Clarke.”

 

“I missed you this morning.” She pouts. You feel your knees going weak.

 

“Moba, ai kwin.” _Forgive me, my queen._ “I visited Lok. He is the best weapon smith in Polis.” You place the bundle on the bed and sit down.

 

Clarke tilts her head and looks at you. “May I?” She still has the little bowl with black paint in her hands.

 

You nod and sit up straight. Clarke kneels before you and dips her fingers into the black paste.

 

She applies the paint with soft fingers. You only close your eyes for her to paint your eyelids, otherwise you look at her.

 

You smile when you see her concentrated look and her tongue sticking out.

 

When she is done, she nods at you with a bright smile and cleans her fingers with a moist cloth.

  
“Thank you, Clarke.” You stand up and walk towards her, the bundle in your hand. “I have a present for you.”

 

**Today, Polis**

*****Clarke*****

 

You tilt your head and lock your eyes with hers. She unwraps the bundle and offers you a sword, sheathed in black leather, decorated with several bands of black and blue.

 

Your eyes grow wide when she grabs the hilt and draws it. Its knob is a black stone with a smooth surface. The hilt itself is also wrapped in black leather bands. The blade has a blackish shimmer and is slightly curved.

 

You spot an engraving on the blade and run over it with your fingers. You read it out loud.

 

“Gon skai prisa, slip daun kom skai kom au ste kwin en houmon kom heda.” _For the Sky Princess, fallen from the sky to be queen and wife to the Commander._

 

She turns the blade. There is another one.

 

“Osir gon op sintaim ogeda na kom osir gonplei ste odon.” _We fight each day together until our fight is over._

 

Lexa bows her head. “May it protect you and remind you that I am always with you.”

 

You blink the tears away. “Mochof, ai hodnes.” _Thank you, my love._

 

She applies the scabbard with the sheathed sword to your belt and takes a step back to look at you.

 

“It suits you.” She gives you a smile and offers you her hand. You take it.

 

“Kom wor, Heda. Ogeda.” _To war, Commander. Together._

 

“Kom wines, Skai Prisa. Ogeda.” _To victory, Sky Princess. Together._

 

You are walking hand in hand towards the hall. The generals are already gathered and waiting. Lexa walks into the hall before you, you wait.

 

When she arrives at her throne, she raises her hand and silence fills the room. You take a deep breath and enter.

 

You walk straight and proud. You hear the mumbles. This time, they sound impressed. When you arrive at your seat beside Lexa, she sits down. You do not look at her.

 

“I speak for the Skaikru. We have a truce with the Trikru and fought the Mountain Men with Heda kom Trikru, and I am here to join the alliance. What we-”

 

“You can go to hell with your pack of splitas!” _Outsiders._ You don’t know which clan the man belongs to that jumps up and shouts at you. He is big and pale. He reaches back. You realize too late that he holds a dagger in his hand.

 

His aim was true as he threw the dagger into your direction. It would have hit your heart if Lexa wouldn’t have reacted that fast.

 

You hold her in your arms, the dagger still stuck in her shoulder. “Beja, nou wan op, Lexa.” _Please don’t die, Lexa.”_

 

**Today, the Ark**

*****Rayne*****

 

You jerk up. Your shoulder hurts. You know it’s Lexa.

 

“Sis…” _Sister…_

 

You jump up and dress yourself while shouting for Octavia to prepare Mars. Octavia leaves the tent to fulfill her task. You know she is not happy about being left behind.

 

“Are you okay?” Raven sits up and looks at you, still sleepy.

 

“Something is wrong with Lexa. I need to go to Polis.”

 

Raven’s eyes widen. “Shit.” She jumps out of the furs and starts to dress herself.

 

“What are you doing, Raven?”

 

She turns and looks at you with a shocked expression. “I’m coming with you?”

 

“Raven-“

 

“No. I won’t stay here without you, and if something happened to Lexa, Clarke will need me.” She takes a deep breath. Her voice grows soft. “As you will.”

 

You will not fight her on this. You nod. You feel a warmth in your chest.

 

“Phobos, Deimos! Osir gon we nau.” _Phobos, Deimos! We are leaving now._

 

You leave the tent with Raven, flanked by your wolves. Mars is already saddled; Octavia holds his reins. “Ste yuj, Octavia.” _Stay strong, Octavia._ Your second nods.

 

You take the reins and mount Mars in one flowing movement. Octavia looks at you with wide eyes.

 

You offer Raven your hand, she takes it. You pull her up so she sits in front of you. “Yu ste os?” _Are you okay?_

 

Raven nods. She presses herself a little further into you.

 

“Gon Polis!” _To Polis!_

 

At your command, Mars rears and storms off, flanked by Phobos and Deimos. Raven buries her fingers into your thighs.

 

“Don’t be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you.” You tighten your embrace around her waist.

 

**Today, Polis**

*****Clarke*****

 

You shout commands with a firm voice; Lexa’s guards lift her up and lay her down on the table. You order two of them to go and fetch you hot water, bandages, antiseptic herbs and a healer to check if the blade was poisoned.

 

The generals of the clans are in uproar; you ignore it to the point where it disturbs your concentration.

 

“EM PLENI!” _ENOUGH!_ “Shof op ou gon we. Ai souda hod daun Lexa’s led.” _Shut up or leave. I must heal Lexa’s wounds._

 

The room is silent. You only hear Lexa’s breathing.

 

The blade damaged her shoulder. If you do one wrong move, she will never use her arm again.

 

You pull the dagger out and hand it to the healers to look for poison. You clean the wound. You stitch it.

 

The process takes you nearly an hour. All the generals are watching, not one of them says a word.

 

When you apply the last stitches, a healer approaches. “Skai Prisa,” _Sky Princess,_ “there was no poison on the blade.”

 

You nod. The healer bows and steps back.

 

She will be okay. You wrap the bandage around her shoulder, together with little plates to keep it still.

 

“Mochof.” _Thank you._ Lexa looks at you.

 

“Pro.” _You’re welcome._ You look back at her, your expression calm. Inside you, a storm rages. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

 

You look at one of Lexa’s guards. “Where is the attacker?”

 

The guard bows. “Locked up, Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._

 

“What clan?” your expression is lifeless. You keep your rage down.

 

“Azgeda.” _Ice nation._

 

You nod. “Prepare his execution for the morning in two days. He will receive one meal a day and he will be treated well. I want him to be strong to feel as many cuts as possible before he dies.”

 

The guard bows again. “Sha, Skai Prisa.” _Yes, Sky Princess._ The guard leaves to fulfill his task.

 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath before you address the generals.

 

“As I said,” you look at every one of them, “I speak for the Sky People and we will join the alliance. Not one of you will threaten the peace between the clans. Is there anyone of you who dares to challenge me?”

 

There is dead silence for a few seconds. The uproar afterwards is deafening.

 

They chant your name. “Skai Prisa, fisa kom Heda!” _Sky princess, healer of the Commander!_

 

After hours you are escorted back to your room. You hold Lexa close, your arm around her waist.

 

As soon as you are alone, you set her down on the bed and start removing her clothes. “I could have lost you today.”

 

Lexa cups your cheek and tilts your chin upwards. “Ai bants yu nowe.” _I will never leave you._

 

You lay down together, snuggled up as close as possible. It is then, when Lexa starts to speak.

 

“Clarke, you are amazing.”

 

You nuzzle her neck. “Mh?”

 

“You earned the respect of the generals of all clans.” She takes a deep breath. “Without my help.” She kisses your head. “I am proud of you.”

 

**Today, forest between Ton DC and Polis**

*****Rayne*****

 

You make the ride to Polis within a day and a night. Mars is as fast as he is big, he doesn't struggle under the extra weight of Raven.

 

Raven fell asleep a few hours ago. You're riding off the usual road to not draw any attention towards you.

 

Phobos and Deimos are circling you, warning you with huffs and growls if something is out of the norm or your path is blocked. Mars is reacting without your doing.

 

So all your attention goes to Raven's sleeping form in your arms and thoughts of worry about your sister as well as memories.

 

**Years ago, forest close to the Dead Lands**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You were driven by rage. You will never be able to forget the look in Lexa's eyes when you found Costia. You stayed hidden with Lexa in Polis for four nights and three days.

 

It took everything for you not to storm after her murderers in an instant; Lexa needed you.

 

You agreed with Lexa doing the politics and you dealing with the humans. Lexa's hands were tied. Yours were not.

 

You left in the middle of the night and followed the messed up tracks. After days, you were close to the end of the forest and the border to the Dead Lands.

 

You ignored everything Anya had forced into your heads over the years. You still hear her lectures.

 

_"Never storm off into unknown territory. Walk with the light and the weather."_

 

You stormed off into unknown territory in the middle of a foggy night. The ground was moist, you didn't see the cliff.

 

A whining sound woke you. A black wolf puppy was licking your cheek and nudging your head. You sat up and looked at it. It was definitely a puppy, but already as big as a fully grown wolf.

 

It jumped up and down and bit your leg just to run off, bark, and come back. You rose and followed it.

 

It led you to another cliff. The sun was already up and you had a good and wide view, but the puppy wanted to show you something down a hole in the ground.

 

The opening was big enough for you to climb down and so you did. In the little cavern below you found another absurdly big puppy; a little smaller, a little lighter.

 

You had troubles to get it out of the cavern, but you managed it somehow. You only had a little meat with you. You fed it to the wolves.

 

You lost your horse when you fell down the cliff, so you made your way by foot. You didn’t know where you were and you lost the tracks you were following in the first place.

 

The wolves followed you. They hunted with you, they kept you warm, protected you. You saved them. And you wouldn’t have survived or found your way back to Polis without them.

 

They never left your side again.

 

**Today, Polis**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

The sun is rising when you approach the gate of Polis. The guards recognize you, mostly because of the giant black horse and the wolves flanking you.

 

The gate is opened and you storm in without slowing down. Raven is awake, but she does not talk.

 

You bring Mars to a halt when you are in front of the Commander’s house and dismount. You hold your arms out to help Raven down.

 

She smiles at you, reaches for your arms and you pull her down and set her softly to the ground. You lay your arm around her waist and carry most of her weight; she isn’t wearing the brace anymore.

 

The house is more guarded than usual. You walk straight to Lexa’s room, Phobos and Deimos right behind you.

 

When you open the door and enter, you see Clarke sitting beside Lexa’s bed. Your sister is laying on her back, sleeping. Clarke is holding her hand and kissing her fingers.

 

“Sis.” _Sister._

 

Clarke looks up. “Rayne? Raven? What are you doing here?”

 

You walk to the bed and help Raven to sit down. You sit beside Lexa and kiss her forehead before you rest your cheek against hers. “Ai ste hir, Lexa.” You kiss your sister’s cheek. “Ai shil yu op, ai fis yu op.” _I am here, Lexa. I protect you, I heal you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	10. Ai don gon wamplei (I am become death)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ai don gon wamplei (I am become death)**

**Today, Polis**

*****Raven*****

 

You watch Rayne in awe as she tends to her sister’s wound. Clarke stands beside you, watching Rayne, just as you, in silence. You both don’t dare to disturb her now.

 

“Yu fis em op os, Clarke.” _You healed her well, Clarke._ “Mochof.” _Thank you._

 

“Pro, Rayne.” _You’re welcome, Rayne_. Clarke steps closer to her and lays her hand on her shoulder. “We take care of each other.”

 

Rayne looks at her, furrows and looks at you. You know what she wants, without words. You grab Clarke’s hand. She looks like death. You know Clarke. She sure as hell hasn’t left Lexa’s side.

 

“Hey Clarke. Have you slept at all?”

 

Clarke sighs. “Not since the attack.”

 

You look at Rayne, she nods. “Go get some sleep, Clarke. Rayne and I will stay here and keep watch over the two of you.” Rayne smiles at you. You see the questions in Clarke’s eyes. “We can talk after you got some sleep, okay?”

 

Clarke yawns. “I don’t think I can sleep.”

 

Rayne rises, still holding Lexa’s hand. She gives Clarke a glare. You try not to laugh.

 

Clarke shivers. She is intimidated. “Maybe I try anyway?”

 

Rayne’s glare shifts to a satisfied expression. Clarke removes her armor and lies down beside Lexa.

 

Rayne moves a chair closer to the bed and sits down. She holds her hands out for you. You feel yourself blushing when you lay your hands into hers. She pulls you off the bed and onto her lap.

 

There are no other options to take a seat beside the bed and the chair, and the bed is not big enough to have Lexa and Clarke sleeping there and the two of you sitting on it.

 

But you are aware that Rayne could also stand, or just ignore you. She didn’t.

 

She is always aware of you, always taking care. She pays attention to even the tiniest expressions and sighs.

 

Since you moved in with her, there was not one time you felt uncomfortable, not welcome or ignored. There was not one time you had pains without her easing it without asking.

 

While you are thinking about all of this, you make yourself comfortable in Rayne’s lap and lean into her. You cover her hands around your waist with yours. You stroke her fingers with yours.

 

After a while, when you are sure Clarke is asleep, you dare to speak to her. “Rayne?”

 

She nudges your neck. “Sha?” _Yes?_

 

You thought you would feel nervous. You thought you would blush. You thought you would feel uncomfortable.

  
“I enjoy being with you, Rayne.” You squeeze her hands.

 

You weren’t.

 

She holds you tighter. “Ai gaf yu in raun ai sentaim.” _I want you around me too._

 

It is past noon when Lexa wakes up. Clarke is curled up against her and Lexa held her with her good arm. She spots the two of you.

 

“Rayne, ai sis.” _Rayne, my sister._

 

Rayne rises with you and lets you sit down. The look she gives you says more than words ever could. She kisses your hand and turns towards Lexa.

 

“Lexa, ai sis.” _Lexa, my sister._

 

Rayne sits beside Lexa and rests her forehead against hers. “Tel op chit kom au yu en Clarke.” _Tell me what happened to you and Clarke._

 

Lexa explains what happened. Rayne sits still, but you see anger rising. Mostly because Phobos and Deimos are getting nervous and showing their fangs.

 

“Rayne, ron ai op yu meika.” _Rayne, give me your hand._

 

Rayne takes Lexa’s hand and holds it. They look at each other for minutes without saying a word.

 

Lexa smiles and nods towards you while her eyes are still locked with Rayne’s. “Yu niron?” _You’re loved one?_

 

You can’t see Rayne’s expression, but you see Lexa’s smile. “Mochof, sis.” _Thank you, sister._

 

Clarke wakes up shortly after and you eat a late lunch together. Lexa is okay, though she can’t use her arm for while. You feel content.

 

After lunch you head out into the city so the people of Polis can see their Heda being well. You are more fascinated by the people’s reaction about Lexa and Rayne than in awe about the beautiful city.

 

Lexa and Clarke are busy talking to the generals of the other clans. Rayne seems to be annoyed. She gives you a soft look and furrows for a second.

 

“Phobos, kamp raun em en shil em op.” _Phobos, stay with them and protect them._ The black wolf trots towards Lexa and Clarke and huffs.

 

“Masta op ai beja, Raven.” _Follow me please, Raven._ Rayne still has her arm around your waist and helps you to walk without the brace. As if you would have another option than to follow her. But you appreciate that she is asking.

 

Deimos stays with you and Rayne walks with you deeper into the city center. You enter a house which is missing half its roof. There is smoke coming out. You smell fire, smoke, coal and metal.

 

When you enter, a giant of a man walks towards you. He bows. “Mounin houm, Heda Rayne.” _Welcome home, Commander Rayne._ He looks at you and at Rayne’s arm around your waist; his expression is soft and you see a slight smile on his lips. He bows again. “Ai laik Lok.” _I am Lok._

 

Rayne squeezes your waist and you jump out of your silence. “Raven.” You offer him your hand. He takes it and touches the back of your hand with his forehead. It feels like a very respectful gesture.

 

He turns and offers you a little wooden stool and Rayne helps you to sit down and rests her hand on your shoulder. Deimos curls up beside you and takes a nap.

 

Lok addresses his Heda. “Der, Heda.” _There, Commander._ He makes on offering gesture and Rayne nods and walks over to the forge. There are sharpening stones and oils on the table beside it.

 

You spend hours watching Rayne sharpening her daggers and Lok forging weapons. Rayne looks over to you every few minutes to make sure you are comfortable.

 

At some point she rises to fetch you a cup of water and some fruits. You smile at her, whispering your thank you only for her ears. You are used to interacting only with looks and gestures, rarely, like now, with whispers if you are around other people. It does not bother you.

 

When Rayne finishes her task, she walks past you. You lean into her and relax at the feeling of her hand resting on your shoulder. She lets you watch Lok doing his work. She knows you are fascinated. You know that she knew you would be fascinated.

**Today, Polis**

*****Lexa*****

 

You enjoy the feeling of the four of you eating dinner together. The day has been calm and quiet.

 

You see a change in Rayne, maybe the same change that Clarke caused in you. You see your sister reacting to Raven’s every move. She looks happy.

 

Your evening talk is mostly about the progress at the Ark. Clarke looks concerned when Ravens tells you about Abby. “And my mom let you come to Polis without a fight?”

 

Raven shoots Rayne a look. Rayne nods. “Actually, there was a fight.” She looks down to her plate and plays with her food. “I kind of kicked myself out? I am Trikru now.”

 

You furrow and look at your sister. You know there is only one reason how Raven could become Trikru without going through the trials. You do not ask. Rayne sure has her reasons to keep it a secret.

 

Clarke rests her hands on her head. “And Mom accepted that?”

 

Raven laughs. “Fuck, no. She lost her shit. Rayne saved my ass.” You smile at the look Raven gives Rayne. “But thank god she can’t do anything. I am living with Rayne now.” Raven blushes. You smile. “I am happy, Clarke.”

 

Clarke smiles and reaches for your hand. You take it. “That’s all that matters, Raven kom Trikru.” _Raven of the Tree People._

 

You keep talking about everything and nothing until midnight. Your guards remind you of the execution you have to attend to in the morning, which causes the four of you to go and get some sleep eventually.

 

The sun is about to rise when you walk hand in hand with Clarke out of the city. Raven is mounted on Mars and flanked by Phobos and Deimos.

 

There are already people gathered around the post where the Azgeda general is tied. Rayne stands beside him, her face without expression.

 

You know your sister is raging inside. You kiss Clarke’s hand and leave her behind to step to your sister. You rest your foreheads together and your people are chanting. “Heda Lexa! Heda Rayne!” _Commander Lexa! Commander Rayne!_

 

You raise your hand, the chants silence within a second.

 

“People of Polis. We gathered here, for all to see, that we do not tolerate any threat to the alliance and the peace it brought upon all of us.” You walk around the post while you address your people. “This man has threatened one of us. So he threatened all of us.”

 

“Frag em op, Heda!” _Kill him, Commander!_

 

“Kot em op, Heda! _Cut him, Commander!_

 

You raise your hand again to silence your people. You step on the opposite side of the post; Rayne is still standing on the other.

 

“Dison laik ain, sentaim dison laik yun.” _This one is mine and also yours._ You nod towards Clarke.

 

Clarke steps forward and draws her sword. “Ai laik Clarke kom Skaikru en yu gonplei ste odon.” _I am Clarke of the Sky People and your fight is over._

 

Clarke hesitates. You look over to Rayne, you share a look. Rayne leaves her spot to step beside Raven.

 

You step forward and position yourself behind Clarke. Your hand covers hers around the hilt of her sword.

 

You make the first cut and step back with Clarke beside Raven and your sister.

 

Your cut is followed by one of each general of the clans. The cuts are deep and bleeding constantly. He is close to pass out when he lifts his head and looks back and forth between Clarke and Raven.

 

He spits to the ground and smiles. “Yo na wan op nes.” _You will die next._

 

Rayne’s voice is roaring. “Frag em op!” _Kill him!_

 

At her command, Phobos and Deimos are leaping from their positions beside Mars to the Azgeda general. Each of the wolves bites down into a shoulder and tear.

 

Rayne herself draws her daggers. She runs toward the post, leaps and buries her daggers into his chest. At the sound of the blades piercing through his chest and cracking into the post he is tied to, most of the people take a step back.

 

Rayne’s voice is more a primal growl than human. “Emo ste ain. Jomp emo op en yu jomp ai op.” _They are mine. Attack them and you attack me._

 

Rayne twists her daggers. You hear his ribs splitting into pieces. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over._

 

Phobos and Deimos are in a blood rage, just as their master. They keep tearing the dead body apart. Rayne pulls her daggers out of the corpse and turns.

 

She is covered in blood, the red liquid dripping from both her blades.

 

You would have done it yourself if you could.

 

**Today, forest between Polis and Ton DC**

*****Raven*****

 

You don’t say a word. Rayne leaves after the execution for the forest together with Phobos and Deimos. They were all covered in blood.

 

She returns calm and clean at noon when you, Lexa and Clarke are ready to leave Polis. She doesn’t look at you. She mounts Mars and you sit, as always, in front of her.

 

There is group of round about fifty people, belonging to all of the clans of the alliance, following you. Carpenters, blacksmiths, hunters. They will assist the Skaikru to build a new village in the forest between the Ark and Ton DC before the first snow.

 

You are riding a bit behind Lexa and Clarke. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

 

“Rayne?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I am okay.”

 

Rayne pulls you closer. “I didn’t want you to see this.”

 

You lean into her. “I am okay. You are still my Rayne.”

 

**Years ago, Fields of the Stelkru**

*****Lexa*****

 

As Heda you have to know the clans, so you spent the summer with the Stelkru. _Horse People._ You and Rayne enjoyed the landscape; neither of you were used to wide and open fields.

 

It was in the middle of the night when the both of you jerked out of your sleep, your weapons drawn. You looked at each other and moved to find whatever caused the noise.

 

A little outside the village you saw a deformed mare being dragged behind two horses mounted by breeders. They obviously wanted to get rid of the mare, which was still alive.

 

The mare was in pain, dragged over the ground and bleeding out of several wounds stones had caused. You know your sister; she won’t look at this without doing something.

 

Rayne stormed off and you followed her. Rayne cut the ropes and the mare came to a halt; she kneeled down beside it and examined her.

 

You crouched between Rayne and the breeders, which do not dare to say a word; they know what and who you are. “Gon we.” _Go away._

 

They bow and leave without a word. You turn and kneel down beside Rayne.

 

“Lexa.” You heard the sadness in her voice. You knew she couldn’t save the mare.

 

“Yu na fis strik won?” _Can you save the little one?_

It was then that Rayne nodded with tears in her eyes. She stroked over the mares face and placed a kiss on her nose. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over._ “Moba.” _Forgive me._

 

Rayne punctured the mare’s jugular; it was over within seconds. After that, she cut its belly open to try to save the foal.

 

Neither of you were prepared for this.

 

The mare was deformed because the colt was already nearly half as big as his mother.

 

It was not a question for you that Rayne would keep him. She named him Mars.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	11. Mounin houm (Welcome home)

**Mounin houm (Welcome home)**

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Rayne*****

 

You wake up earlier than usual. You turn around and look at Raven, which is sleeping in the furs beside yours. You smile at her tiny form snuggled up with Deimos. Raven’s head rests on his, her legs and arms wrapped around his throat and waist.

 

Deimos is awake and shoots you a begging look without moving; he doesn’t want to wake her.

 

You suppress a giggle. “Byjo moba, ai lukot. Em ste yun nau.” _I’m sorry, my friend. She is yours now._

 

Deimos huffs softly. He grew a strong bond with Raven, which you’re grateful for. He barely ever leaves her side. He always was the cuddly one and Raven offers him a lot of cuddles.

 

You turn over and sort your thoughts. You stroke Phobos’ head, who is resting beside your furs. He is still sleeping and grumbles at your touch.

 

It’s been two months since your return from Polis. You moved back to Ton DC; you took Raven with you.

 

It was Abby’s luck that Clarke was there to keep her calm and quiet. You would have peeled her like a grape if she had dared to open her mouth to the fact that Raven was leaving the Sky People for good.

 

The progress of the building of the new village in the forests between Ton DC and the Ark is remarkable; since the Skaikru joined the alliance, skilled craftsmen of all clans are traveling here to help.

 

You yourself consider it a lucky coincidence that there are as good as no Sky People left; less houses to build. But though you don’t give a thought about what people are thinking of you, and you never ever soften your words to spare the feelings of others, you keep your opinion for yourself.

 

You would never do or say something to hurt Raven or Clarke. You and Lexa are on the same page about that, as usual. And even though Raven is happy to be with the Trikru, _Tree People,_ she still cares about them.

 

“Heda?” _Commander?_ Octavia calls, hesitant and as quiet as possible.

 

“Komba raun.” _Come in._

 

Octavia enters. She takes in Raven’s sleeping form and Deimos’ look. She giggles. “You poor fucker.” She walks past Raven and pats his head. He wiggles his tail and licks his lips. She positions herself beside your furs and addresses you.

 

“Lexa requires your presence.”

 

You furrow and sit up. “Chit kom au?” _What happened?_

 

“I don’t know.”

 

You nod and get up. Octavia leaves. “I will wait outside.”

 

When you leave your tent, your order Phobos to guard the entry and head to the war tent with Octavia. Lexa is already there with Indra.

 

“Sis.” _Sis._ Lexa greets you. You walk over and hug her, your foreheads resting together for a few seconds. Lexa then holds your shoulder and nods towards Indra.

 

She bows her head. “We have reports of unusual activity of the Azgeda. _Ice Nation._ There were two raids on small villages at the borders. The Ice Queen denies involvement.”

 

You furrow. You are sure that this is because of the general you killed.

 

Indra continues. “We should clear that situation fast, Heda.” _Commander._

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Raven*****

 

Deimos jumps off the furs and stretches as soon as you sit up. “Buddy, if you’re uncomfortable just move your ass.” He huffs at you and lays his head into your lap, looking at you like you punched him. “Don’t give me that look!” You pet his ears and he does his purring sound. ”You really don’t know what you want, buddy.”

 

You take a look around and see that Rayne isn’t here. “Where is she, Deimos?” The wolf tilts its head. “Phobos!” The black wolf comes running inside and looks at you. “Where is Rayne?” Phobos huffs.

 

“Ai ste hir.” _I am here._ Rayne enters and walks towards you, waiting a second for your nod and sits down beside you.

 

“Are you okay? You look worried.” You take her hand in yours. “What’s wrong?”

 

She looks at you with a furrow. “I need to travel to the borders of the Ice Nation. There were violent raids on small villages. The survivors need to see their Heda and that things are being taken care of.”

 

You scoot closer and lay your head on her shoulder, placing a kiss on her neck. “Okay. When do we leave?”

 

You know that she won’t take you with her this time. You can’t stop yourself from asking anyway; her answer will tell you if you need to worry or not.

 

“Raven, not this time. It’s too dangerous.”

 

Wonderful. You need to worry.

 

“Who will go with you?” You squeeze her hand and she kisses your head.

 

“I will go alone. The first snow will arrive soon, everyone is needed so help the Skaikru.” _Sky People._

 

You feel a knot in your stomach. You feel fear. You feel tears in your eyes. You sob and Rayne lays her arm around your waist. “Raven…” You wrap your arms around her neck and crawl into her lap.

 

You feel shocked over yourself; you’re straddling her. You’re internally prepared for her to shove you off of her and leaving. She holds you close and secure.

 

You sit still for a few minutes. When your sobs stop, you clear your throat. “I have two conditions.”

 

Usually Rayne would beat the crap out of everyone who dares to give her conditions or even bargain with her. You know that.

 

“Sha, ai hodnes.” _Yes, my love._ Luckily you are not everyone else.

“First: you will take Deimos with you. You leave him with me always, but I am safe here.”

 

You feel her nodding. You sigh in relief and kiss her neck again, before you lean back. You cup her cheek and look into her black eyes. They grew so much softer over the last months. “Second: you will come back to me as fast as you can, healthy and unharmed.”

 

Rayne takes your face into her hands, so delicately you nearly faint. She strokes the tears away with her thumbs. “I will take Phobos and Deimos with me and I will come back to you as fast as I can, healthy and unharmed.” She rests her forehead against yours. “Raven-”

 

“No.” You place your fingers on her lips. You know what she is about so say. “You will tell me that when you are back. You can kiss me, if you wish, but I don’t want to hear it before I have you back in my arms.”

 

She looks into your eyes and nods. You curl your fingers, stroking her bottom lip with your fingertips; you turn your hand and stroke her cheek with the back of it. She looks at your lips and back into your eyes.

 

You smile, close your eyes and tilt your head slightly. You feel Rayne tensing only for a second. Time starts to flow slowly. You feel one of her hands at the small of your back, pulling you closer. You feel her other hand cupping your cheek and stroking down to your jaw.

 

You moan, only slightly, when she cups your jaw and tilts your head further. Your lips are already parted; when Rayne first licks over your top lip, you moan again. When she licks over your bottom lip, you shudder.

 

You feel her tilting her head to the other side. Her lips touch yours and you feel like you’re exploding. All you are, all you ever have been and all you ever will be melts into one simple purpose: loving her.

 

You feel complete, you feel alive. You melt into her, press yourself further against her and she pulls you even closer.

 

No one has ever kissed you like she does; no has ever held you like she does; no one has ever given you so much attention and love and you know, in this moment and for the rest of your existence that no one ever will.

 

You are meant to be hers, as she is meant to be yours.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Rayne*****

 

You don’t know how long you spend kissing Raven. You wished you would never have had to stop; but you are Heda and you have responsibilities.

 

Raven helps you to put on your armor. While you apply your war paint, she grabs your daggers from the table. She waits, patiently, until you are done.

 

She stands before you, your daggers in her hands. No one besides you ever touched them; you wouldn’t allow it. It doesn’t bother you that she does.

 

“May I?”

 

You nod. Raven steps closer and binds the belt around your waist. She tucks and pulls at the ends of your harness and your armor until she nods. “You are ready, Heda.” _Commander._

 

You pull her into your arms again. You hold her close. “I will come back as soon as I can.”

 

Raven nuzzles your neck. “I know.”

 

When you leave the tent, Lexa and Clarke are already waiting.

 

Clarke hugs you. “Be safe, Rayne.”

 

You nod and Clarke takes your place at Raven’s side. You turn towards Lexa. You don’t have to say anything; she knows.

 

“Ai na shil em op, Rayne.” _I will protect her, Rayne._

 

“Mochof, ai sis.” _Thank you, my sister._

 

You mount Mars and storm off without turning around, flanked by Phobos and Deimos.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Lexa*****

 

You are annoyed. You are far beyond annoyed. You have already carved a hole into the table with your dagger; you are so done with this.

 

It has been three months now since you escaped the mountain; and you still haven’t managed to spend more than ten minutes alone with Clarke. You still haven’t managed to properly kiss her.

 

You are so done.

 

The craftsmen, who supported the building of the new village and were training the Sky People in necessary skills, have been gone for a week now. And still you’re sitting in your war tent with Abby and a few Sky People. They are talking about… whatever. Something with the Sky People. Again.

 

And as every day, there is nothing to worry about. They are as good as done. The Sky People have two groups of hunters now and they know how to repair and maintain their buildings. They have horses to breed, they have a blacksmith, a storage for food and most of the Sky People have left the Ark by now.

 

You have no idea what you are still doing at these meetings.

 

The table cracks under your dagger; you managed to carve another hole into it. All of the people in the room are looking at you. You’re so done.

 

You pull your dagger out of the table and rise. “So, I understand it right that the Sky People are able to look after themselves now?”

 

A lot of people nod their heads.

 

“And I also understand it right, that the building of the village is mostly done, and what’s still missing can be done by the Sky People without assistance?”

 

More nods.

 

“Then I declare our part of this deal as done. This was the last meeting. You may leave.” You turn and walk out of the tent. You don’t even flinch when the people are calling for you. You are so done.

 

You walk to the stables and saddle your horse.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

When Lexa walks out of the tent you are close to just jump up and run after her. Sadly your mother is faster and holds your arm. “Clarke, where is she going? She can’t just leave a meeting when we have things to discuss!”

 

You look at your mom. You love her; but you honestly wonder why.

 

“Mom. The village is done and you have everything you need. You are capable of feeding yourselves, you are capable of holding the buildings intact, and you are capable of sending a messenger to Ton DC should you need help.”

 

“So that’s it?” Abby looks at you as if you would have stabbed her in the back.

 

“Yes, that’s it.” You rise. “You heard the Commander, you may leave.” You nod at Indra. You can’t hide the smile when you see her expression change; she waited for weeks to kick the Sky People out of her village.

 

You turn and leave the tent. As soon as you are out of sight, you start running. There are too many places where Lexa could be. You hear a horse coming closer behind you. You grin and quicken your pace.

 

Lexa doesn’t bring her horse to a halt; she grabs the arm you stretch out for her and pulls you up, so you sit right on the saddle in front of her. You feel reckless and free and laugh; Lexa joins you.

 

When you are sure no one is following you, Lexa slows down. She holds you close and secure and you snuggle closer and lean your head to her chest. The forest is quiet.

 

“Chek au dei.” _Look at that._

 

You look up and take in your surroundings. You are in the middle of a meadow. You hear a little river flowing not far off.

 

In the middle of the meadow there is tree, though you can’t tell what kind; it carries no leaves or needles. It looks old and unnaturally dark.

 

“This tree is standing here since before the war. It grows still, very slowly. It is never blooming, but also never dying.” Lexa kisses your head. “It is holy to us.”

 

Lexa dismounts and helps you to get down from the horse.

 

Lexa strokes over the steed’s face. “Kamp raun, Shak.” _Stay close, Shak._ She takes your hand and walks you towards the tree. “Important bonds are celebrated here.”

 

You look at her and tilt your head, smiling. “So you use to get joined here?”

 

“Sha.” _Yes._

 

Lexa stops and faces you. She holds both your hands in hers, stroking the back of your hands with her thumbs. “Clarke, I know that we… haven’t had a lot of time alone.”

 

You raise an eyebrow at that understatement, but you do not interrupt her.

 

“Clarke. We are meant to be.” She kneels down in front of you. “I never was so sure about anything.” She keeps your eyes locked while she lets go of one of your hands to pull a bracelet out of her pocket. “Ai laik Heda Lexa kom Trikru en ai gaf yu in kom au ain, Clarke kom Skaikru.“ _I am Commander Lexa of the Tree People and I want you to be mine, Clarke of the Sky People._

 

She offers you the bracelet. It is, as far as you can see, entirely made of gold. It is engraved with her name, the symbol of the Trikru, which you realize is the tree you are standing in front of as well as the Symbols of Heda, which also are inked into Lexa’s skin. Besides that, it holds a green jewel in the center.

 

You take the bracelet into your hand. “Ai laik Clarke kom Skaikru, en ai gaf in ai kom au yun.“ _I am Clarke of the Sky People and I want to be yours._

 

Lexa rises and applies the bracelet to your upper arm. “This bracelet makes you my official spouse. It will keep you safe.” She looks into your eyes. “Never take it off.”

 

You nod with tears in your eyes. Lexa lays her arms around you and pulls you closer. “Ai hod yu in, ai kwin.” _I love you, my queen._

 

You kiss her neck. “En ai hod you in, ai hodnes.” _And I love you, my love._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	12. Ai ste yuj chon yu (I stay strong with you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe light sexual content.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ai ste yuj chon yu (I stay strong with you)**

**Today, back in Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

You feel Lexa’s heart beat; it is in sync with yours. She removes every piece of your clothing so delicately and slowly that you barely dare to breathe. You see her eyes growing wide and soft with every inch of your skin that is exposed.

 

The fire spends a warm and dim light. Her skin shimmers in the most beautiful bronze tone. You feel her fingers stroking softly up your bare arms until she reaches the bracelet.

 

She looks into your eyes and you feel pure adoration. She takes a step closer and cups your cheeks with soft fingers. You tilt your head and you feel her lips on yours.

 

You’re dying and being reborn. Your body melts into hers to a point where you are absolutely positive that you can’t feel more of her skin pressed against yours. You kiss her for what feels like eternity.

 

She guides you back to her furs and you lay down and look at her, her eyes dark and wild, her lips parted and hungry. She hovers over you, her hands resting beside your head. She takes her time to cherish every inch of your skin with soothing kisses and loving fingers.

 

Gravity changes. You’re no longer tied to the earth or the sky, you’re tied to Lexa. She is your sun and moon, your day and night. She is everything and all you need and want.

 

She kisses you, again, deeply and with hunger, before she trails her lips down your jaw and throat. She kisses your breasts and kisses your nipples. She elicits a moan out of you with every touch.

 

When your back starts arching, Lexa lays her body down onto yours just to slide beside you. You turn towards her, addicted to her touch. Her arm is around your shoulders, her free hand strokes up and down your side while she keeps kissing you like there is no tomorrow.

 

You can’t keep yourself from pressing further into her. Her lips are all over yours while her hand moves further down to stroke your hip and thigh. You feel yourself shuddering and Lexa pulling you closer.

 

She takes her time. She drives you mad. “Lexa, beja.” _Lexa, please._

 

Your plea is answered.

 

Her fingers stroke down from your hip to your thigh and back up on its inner side. When she dips her fingertips into your folds, you feel yourself breaking apart.

 

She draws lazy circles, still holding you tight and securely against her. You bury your fingers in her hair and pull her closer. You need to feel as much of her as possible.

You kiss her, moaning into her parted lips, your breath hitching every time her tongue meets yours. Your back arches again, your hips start rocking against her hand and you bury your fingers into her skin.

 

You have never felt more complete.

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Raven*****

 

“Raven?”

 

You rub your eyes. “Octavia?” You try to sit up. It doesn’t work.

 

“Can I come in?” She stands at the entry of your tent.

 

You roll your eyes. “Of course you can come in.”

 

Octavia approaches, a big grin plastered on her face. You tilt your head. “What’s up O?”

 

She plops herself beside you on the furs and scoots closer until your noses are almost touching. “Guess what.”

 

“You got laid?”

 

She snorts. “No, but someone got laid.”

 

You feel your eyes going wide and your mouth forming a perfect o. “No!”

 

Octavia giggles. “Yes!”

 

You hug your friend and you giggle and laugh to a point where you both feel like kids again. “Lexa busted the meeting last night and Indra kicked them all out. After that, Lexa and Clarke were gone for hours. They came back long after midnight and they are still locked up in their tent.”

 

Your smile is so big that your cheeks start hurting. “It was about time. I am so happy for them.”

 

Octavia turns onto her back, throwing her arms up in the air and dropping them gracelessly over her head. “Ask me. Lexa was so tense she was giving me shit constantly. And that wasn’t as nice as getting shit from Rayne.”

 

You feel a sting in your chest.

 

Octavia tenses. “Fuck, sorry.” She turns back towards you and hugs you. “I’m an insensitive ass. Sorry, Raven.”

 

You nod. You feel tears pooling in your eyes. You never were the girl to cry a lot or to show much emotion. But since Rayne left nearly four weeks ago, you haven’t heard from her.

 

She left Octavia as her second with you to protect and guard you since she took Deimos and Phobos with her, as you wished.

 

You miss those two fur balls too. It’s already snowing and it gets terribly cold without a four-hundred-pound wolf snuggled up with you to keep you warm.

 

“I should get ready for work.” You give Octavia a peck. “Want to breakfast with me?”

 

Octavia smiles. “You understand me, Raven.”

 

You laugh. You wonder how Octavia keeps looking that damn good. She is eating like a pack of wolves. You can’t even call it eating; she is wolfing food down in alarming quantities.

 

As every morning since Rayne left, Octavia helps you to get dressed. Without Rayne you lack the massages. Your leg got worse again.

 

You laugh a lot while watching Octavia at breakfast. She blushes but definitely doesn’t think of changing her manners.

  
“I am a warrior and I need to stay strong to protect you.” She chokes on a fruit. You laugh harder. “Hey, that’s not funny!” She chokes again.

 

“Octavia, seriously, try to chew at least once!”

 

She shoves more food in while she is still choking. You guess she mumbles ‘chewing is for weaklings’, but you can’t be sure you heard it right over the sound of Octavia wolfing food down while choking on it and your own laughter.

 

Octavia survives breakfast barely and is whining about a strange ache in her tummy while she walks you to the forge.

 

“Raven, help me.”

 

“Octavia, not even I can help you.” You start laughing again when she shoots you a pout.

 

You enter the blacksmith and Nek greets you, as every day. “Raven.” He bows, takes your hand and touches its back with his forehead. After that, he rises and you punch his shoulder.

 

“Will you ever stop that?”

 

Nek smiles. “No.” he turns and cleans your way to your seat. “We all see that you and Heda are close, we pay respect to that.”

 

You huff, sit down and look over to the forge. “How is the hammer working?”

 

Nek grins at you. “It makes my work a lot easier.” He bows again. He knows he can mock you with that.

 

You throw a sharpening stone at him. You goof around a lot with him. Nek is just about your age and the only blacksmith that survived the bombing of Ton TC. He worked night and day to repair, maintain and produce weapons for his clan.

 

Rayne brought you to the idea when she introduced you to Lok in Polis, so you’re working in the blacksmith with Nek since you moved to Ton TC. The first thing you build out of scrap was a hydraulic hammer.

 

You are not yet skilled enough to work with raw metal, so you mostly do the finishing of the blades. In the meantime, you’re working on something entirely different.

 

**Two months ago, Polis**

*****Raven*****

 

You were cuddled up close to Rayne, your head resting on her chest and her fingers stroking your back.

 

“Raven?”

 

You lift your head to peck her cheek. “Rayne?” You smiled at her.

 

She sat up so you were sitting in her lap. She adjusted you a little and offered you something wrapped in a black cloth. You took it into your hands an unwrapped it.

 

It was a bracelet made of gold, engraved with Rayne’s name, a tree symbol, the symbol of the Commander and a beautiful black jewel.

 

“It’s beautiful.” You looked at Rayne; she smiled. “What is it?”

 

“A gift from me to you. It will keep you safe.” She helped you to put it on; it fit perfectly on your upper arm, just above the scars of the cuts you got back in Ton DC. “Wear it always, please?”

 

You nodded and leaned into her.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Raven*****

 

It is snowing outside, but it is hot as hell within the forge. You wipe off the sweat of your forehead and sigh.

 

“Raven, why don’t you dress lighter for work?” Nek looks over to you with a worried expression.

 

The honest answer would be because you hate it when people see the scars on your arms. You stroke up your arm unintentionally until your fingers touch the bracelet. You smile. “Because I am not a whiny child like you are.” You shoot Nek a cheeky grin and stick out your tongue.

 

He smiles and shakes his head. “How is your project going on?”

 

You look at the bracelet on the desk in front of you. You finished the raw form and started polishing it today, so you can start with the engraving tomorrow. “I’m on a good way. Something new from the stones?”

 

Nek wiggles his eyebrows, heads into another room and comes back with a big grin. “Open your hands.”

 

You smile and do as he said. He drops a dozen gems into your palms. “Lexa sent them over last night.”

 

You take a close look at them and finally pick out a tiger’s eye. “Thank you Nek.” He leans down to hug you.

 

“Pro, Raven.” _You’re welcome, Raven._

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

You wake up entangled with Lexa. You don’t move, you take in the feeling, the scent, the view. You sigh softly and Lexa wakes.  She smiles at you and kisses you softly.

 

“Good morning, ai kwin.“ _My queen._

 

You giggle. “Good morning, Heda.” You kiss down her jaw and rest your face in her neck. “We need to get up.”

 

Lexa grumbles. “I know.” She kisses your head and gets up. You stay down and watch her. “I need to go to the forge to visit Raven. Do you want to join me?”

 

You furrow. “Is she okay?”

 

“Yes, she asked me for a few gems; It looks like she enjoys her new duty.”

 

You get out of bed, walk over to her to wrap your arms around her waist and kiss her again. “I am happy she has something to do that she enjoys. It must be hard for her without Rayne.”

 

Lexa nods. She is worried.

 

“Lexa, have you heard from her?”

 

Lexa takes a deep breath. “No. She should be back by now. I am worried.”

 

You kiss her cheek and rub her back. “I am sure she is okay, Lexa. But let’s not worry Raven, okay?”

 

She nods, gives you a heartbreaking smile and a quick peck. “Sha, ai kwin.” _Yes, my queen._

 

You approach the forge and you smile at Raven’s concentrated look. You see Octavia lying on a bench in the corner of the room, napping. She is snoring slightly and holding her tummy. You assume she ate too much, again.

 

You approach Raven and hug her from behind. “Morning Raven.”

 

Raven stops her work for a second, tilts her head and looks at you. “Morning Misses Heda.”

 

You blush.

 

“Oh come on, the whole village heard you two.” She wiggles her eyebrows and smiles. “I am happy for the two of you.”

 

Lexa stands beside you. She smiles. “Thank you, Raven.” She throws a look over to Octavia. She has been hard on Rayne’s second over the last weeks and usually would give her shit for sleeping during her duty.

 

You smile at how relaxed Lexa takes in the picture of sleepy Octavia, just shakes her head and turns her attention back to Raven. “Have you found what you needed?”

 

Raven grabs a bunch of gems off her table. “Yes, thank you Lexa. I only need the Tiger’s Eye, if that is okay with you.”

 

Lexa nods and takes the gems. “Of course. Let me know if you need something else Raven.” She takes a step towards Raven, places her hand on her shoulder and bends down. She places a kiss on her forehead before she turns and leaves.

 

Raven is looking like she has seen a ghost and you are sure you’re not looking much differently.

 

“Holy fuck.” You both turn to see Octavia sitting upright. “She didn’t kill me.” Octavia stretches, rubs her eyes and rises. “Clarke, do us all a favor and keep doing her; she is much more relaxed if she isn’t suffering from sexual frustration.”

 

You spend a few hours with Raven and Octavia in the forge, talking about everything and nothing while Lexa is on a hunt. You laugh a lot.

 

Octavia sits beside you, her head resting on your shoulder when you get hot and remove your jacket.

 

“Wow Clarke, when did that happen?” Octavia points at the bracelet on your upper arm. Raven looks at it with wide eyes and an open mouth; she recognized the design.

 

You look at it too, as if you would see it for the first time. “Lexa gave it to me yesterday.”

 

“Wow.” Octavia nods. “Wow.” She hugs you. “Congratulations, Clarke!”

 

Raven clears her throat. “That’s a beautiful bracelet, can I take a closer look?” You nod and scoot closer to Raven. After a few seconds, she looks into your eyes. “What is the meaning of it?”

 

“Lexa told me that it is kind of an engagement symbol. These bands exist only once per Heda. It kind of legitimates me to act as Heda and be officially accepted as Houmon kom Heda.” _Wife of the Commander._

 

Raven sits still for a few seconds; she smiles at you and hugs you and congratulates you a moment before you were going to ask her what’s wrong.

 

While Raven clings to you, you look at her table and see what she is working on.

 

“Hey Raven, you’re doing a bracelet?” You recognize the form and material from the bracelet you got from Lexa.

 

Raven sits back and looks back and forth between you and the bracelet. “Yeah, it’s funny how similar it looks to yours, isn’t it?”

 

You feel that she is hiding something, but before you can ask, Lexa is back. She takes the three of you with her to prepare for the festive dinner in honor to your and Lexa’s engagement. You don’t get the chance to speak to Raven privately.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	13. Ogeda chon kikon souda wan op (All who live must die)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ogeda chon kikon souda wan op (All who live must die)**

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Lexa*****

 

You are content and happy. Your people are celebrating your engagement to Clarke and you witness in awe how they offer you their respect and congratulations. Clarke is talking to everyone who approaches her.

 

“Spechou, Heda.” _Congratulations, Commander._ You just nod.

 

Octavia did well; you have been hard on her since Rayne is gone, which is why you granted her the night off her duty to celebrate with you. You still wonder how that skinny girl can eat so much.

 

You have an eye on Raven the whole evening; two of your best warriors are always beside her. She seems to be a little lost. You don’t blame her. You miss Rayne too.

 

Shortly after midnight, when most of the people went to bed, you’re sitting with Raven, Octavia, Clarke and a hand full of warriors still beside the fire. It has been a joyful night, but you prefer these intimate rounds more.

 

You hold Clarke’s hand and stroke its back with your thumb when you realize that Kahn is coming closer. He seems drunk. You give your guards a hand sign and they appear out of the shadows.

 

It is enough to make him change his route and leave. You don’t know why, but something about him makes you nervous.

 

**Years ago, border of the Azgeda Territory**

*****Lexa*****

 

The snow was thick and wet and you had trouble to move as fast as you would have preferred to. You and Rayne were already annoyed. It would have been no problem if you would have done this alone.

 

When the night approached, you set up a camp and a fire. You and Rayne decided to do the first round of patrols, for Mars and Shak were better trained and had no problems to move in four feet of heavy snow and ice.

 

When you were on your way back to camp, Phobos and Deimos crouched and growled.

 

“Hod op, Lex.” _Wait, Lex._

 

You ordered Shak to halt. You were both listening. There was dead silence. Deimos and Phobos didn’t stop.

 

“Rayne-“ She silenced you with a sign of her hand. It was then you heard the screams.

 

You pushed Mars and Shak forward back to the camp; Phobos and Deimos ahead of you. You rushed through the trees and the screams grew louder and louder. When you were able to see the fire, you smell the blood.

 

It was the first time you saw ice bears. You knew they existed, but you always thought they were loners. You were wrong.

 

Four of the beasts were ripping apart your warriors and horses. You have rarely ever seen such violence. The bears just tore everything apart they could get a hold on. Two of them ripped your personal guard in a half. One was feeding on a pile of bloody flesh you weren’t even able to guess if it was the front or back half of a horse. Or a human.

 

The fourth and biggest one of the bears was still fighting someone.

 

“Phobos, Deimos! Jomp em op!” _Phobos, Deimos! Attack them!_ Rayne ordered her wolves to fight the two bears ripping the corpses apart. You stormed off to the one with the pile of meat and Rayne made her way to the biggest one.

 

Deimos and Phobos outsized the bears and chased them off within a minute. Deimos came to help you, Phobos ran off to Rayne.

 

If it wouldn’t have been for the fact that Mars was fearless and huge, Rayne wouldn’t have been able to withstand that beast for so long.

 

The other three bears were no problem; this one was persistent and rabid. It did not fear death.

 

You don’t know what it was that made the beast give up eventually, surrounded by you and your sister mounted as well as Phobos and Deimos. It just stopped fighting and left.

 

At the end of the night, you counted seven dead horses; you lost six warriors.

 

The only survivor was Kahn; he was the only one that fought back and was clever enough not to get killed. He was about your age and a second to one of your generals. It was his first task outside the cities and villages.

 

Kahn survived the attack of a bear so rabid and huge that two Hedas and two wolves weren’t enough to kill it. He became a legend.

 

Chit nou frag yu op na teik yu ste mou yuj. _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_

 

Rayne has been the one to draw the attention of the beast away from him, so he called her his savior. He became so devoted to your sister that he left his clan and went through the trials to be accepted as a Trikru. _Tree People._

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Lexa*****

 

You arrive back in your tent after you dropped off Raven and Octavia at Rayne’s. You order two guards to stay there and keep watch until Octavia slept off her meat coma.

 

When you lie down and snuggle up, Clarke takes a deep breath. “Lexa, what’s the deal with Kahn?”

 

You tense. “I don’t know.”

 

She rolls her eyes. “So you just don’t like him?”

 

“It’s not about that. Something about him is off.” You shrug. “I’ve always felt that way. I’ve known him for years now.”

 

“Anything from Rayne?”

 

You shake your head. “No. It’s been too long. Something is wrong.”

 

“Should we tell Raven?”

 

“Not before I am sure.” You pull Clarke closer. “I am not going to break her heart before I have proof.”

 

Clarke only nods. She yawns and falls asleep shortly after. You lay awake most of the night. You can’t find sleep.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

*****Clarke*****

 

It is a peaceful but cold morning. It was snowing most of the night. You pick up Raven and Octavia at the forge to go and visit the hot springs; Rayne asked you to take care of Raven visiting the springs at least once a week to relax her muscles.

 

You meet up with Lexa at the stables. Usually Raven rides with Lexa; Shak is not as big as Mars, but trained well and strong enough to carry two people without problems.

 

Lexa is about to pull Raven onto Shak’s back when Kahn approaches with a hand full of warriors. Lexa jumps off the horse and walks a few steps towards him.

 

“Chit yu gaf in, Kahn?” _What do you want, Kahn?_ Her voice is a freezing growl.

 

You furrow, dismount your horse and walk towards Lexa; Octavia stands beside Raven, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.

 

“Ai gonplei kamp raun em en nou mou, Heda.” _My fight is only with her, Commander._

 

You feel sick when you see him nodding towards Raven.

 

“Bak op, Kahn.” _Back off, Kahn._ Lexa draws her sword. “Ai shil em op.” _She is under my protection._

 

Kahn smiles. His eyes are deadly. You turn and look at Raven; she is pale as death. Octavia crouches and draws her sword.

 

Kahn stands tall when he addresses Raven over Lexa’s head. “Yu ste kom Trikru?” _Are you from the Tree People?_

 

Raven nods. Lexa turns and looks at her with shock in her eyes. She drops her arms and closes her eyes.

 

“Then, Raven kom Trikru, I challenge you in presence of witnesses. Niron ou wamplei.” _Loved one or death._ Khan’s voice is malicious. He is grinning like the devil itself. “Tomorrow at sunrise. I grant you the choice of weapon.” With that he turns and leaves.

 

The warriors he had with him bow towards you, muttering their excuses. They had no choice; it is everyone duty to act as witness, despite their own opinion.

 

“What the fuck just happened?” Raven’s voice is shaking.

 

Octavia pulls her into her arms. “It’s okay Raven, Lexa won’t let anything happen to you.” She looks over to her Heda. _Commander._ “Right?”

 

She doesn’t move. She stares into nothing. You step towards her. “Lexa?”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“What? What do you mean?” Octavia’s voice pitches higher.

 

“Every member of the Trikru has a right to call this challenge on another member of the Trikru. Everyone knows that he loves Rayne since she saved his worthless hide.” She takes a deep breath. “If you love someone and fear for this persons love to not be true, you can call the Niron ou wamplei. “ _Loved one or death._

 

“Raven can’t fight, Lexa.” You feel your voice shaking.

 

“I am Heda, Clarke. If I could stop this I would. I have to honor my people’s traditions. I can’t. If I stop this, I will cause a civil war.” She looks over to Raven.

 

“Can I fight for her?” Octavia steps forward.

 

Lexa shakes her head. “The only one eligible to take her place is a promised one.”

 

You reach for Lexa’s hand and she takes it. The look on her face is concentrated; her eyes move fast from side to side, as if she would read something.

 

“He will kill me?” Raven’s voice is a whisper, shaken with fear and numbed by tears.

 

Octavia tightens her embrace. “I won’t let that happen, Raven.” Octavia seems to grow taller. She is indeed a warrior, loyal to her family.

 

“Maybe…” Lexa whispers. You look at your love when she continues. “Maybe we can buy you some time. Follow me.”

 

Lexa leads you to Rayne’s tent and asks you to stay there with Raven and Octavia. She comes a few minutes later with a little bundle in her hands.

 

“What are you up to, Lexa?” You place your hand on her hip when she kneels before you and Raven.

 

She takes a deep breath while she unwraps the bundle. “I’m going to poison Raven.”

 

“You are what?” Octavia sounds as shocked as you are.

 

“The challenge can’t be stopped. But it can be moved further into the future if one of the challengers isn’t in their best condition. I will make Raven sick, so we have more time.”

 

Lexa doesn’t look happy, none of you do. If anyone knows what to do, it is Lexa.

 

Raven lays down on her furs, she is shaking. Lexa mixes a few herbs and seeds and mashes it to a thick, green paste in a wooden bowl. When she is done, she smells it and wrinkles her nose. “Okay. Ready, Raven?”

 

She curls up. “What will happen to me?”

 

Lexa dips her index finger into the paste and brings her hand up towards Ravens face. “I will apply it under your tongue. Keep it there for not longer than three minutes, but not less than two. As soon as you feel your tongue going numb, spit it out.”   


Lexa adjusts herself, leaning closer to Raven. “You will get a fever and hallucinate. You will be mostly unconscious. There may be pains.”

 

Raven nods shakily. You take her hand and squeeze it. Octavia paces up and down at the opposite side of the furs, chewing on her thumb.

 

Lexa brings her finger closer to Ravens face and she opens her mouth. Lexa applies the paste under her tongue. “Clarke, would you please get some water?”

 

Raven spits it out after a little over two minutes. She already looks like death. She falls unconscious within half hour.

 

You stay with her all night. Neither Octavia nor you can find sleep. Lexa leaves at some point without saying a word. She returns an hour later, with Nyko.

 

He enters and bows. “Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._ He nods towards Octavia. “May I?” He asks for permission to take your place at Raven’s side. You rise and walk to Lexa’s. Nyko then sits down to examine Raven, opening her eyelids, feeling her pulse.

 

Lexa lays her arm around you and kisses your temple. “Nyko?”

 

“Ai badannes ste kamp raun ai Heda.“ _My allegiance is to my commander._ “I will bring the news to Kahn at first light. Heda.” _Commander_. He sighs. “You can’t keep this up more than three days. She was born in the sky, she reacts stronger to the poison than we would.”

 

“I know. My only concern is your loyalty.”

 

“Heda, I will follow you anywhere. You know I am loyal to you. May I speak freely?”

 

Lexa nods.

 

“Kahn was tolerated, but never accepted. We had no choice, he survived the trials. But I know all the people of Ton DC, and there is not one that would stand up for him.” He bows. “We fight and live for our Heda and her queen.”

 

Nyko comes back in the morning, telling you that Kahn was pissed, but aware that he can’t do anything. Kahn seemed to be suspicious, but not even he would accuse Lexa of manipulating the traditions.

 

Lexa, Octavia and you stay with Raven. Two of you sleep, one stays awake to watch over her. The poison is raging through her body much harder than expected.

 

It has to be applied once a day, now in smaller doses, to keep the symptoms up.

 

You are afraid. If Lexa can’t do anything to save Raven from the challenge, no one can. You think about killing Kahn; you consider it.

 

You talk to Lexa about it, and though she nods and you see resolve in her eyes you know that is may nonetheless cause an uproar.

 

After three days, Lexa stops the treatment. Every hour more endangers Raven’s life.

 

“Ai Kwin.” _My queen._

 

“Sha, Lexa?” _Yes, Lexa?_

 

“Raven will be without the symptoms tomorrow and recovered a day after.” She sits down beside you. “We need to prepare.”

 

Nyko appears and gives Raven herbs and honey to get her strong. He is concerned; you really like him.

 

You’re lying in bed with Raven. Lexa and Octavia headed out to get something to eat. You turn towards her. “Raven?”

 

She doesn’t look at you. “Yes?”

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “That I should have told her that I love her.”

 

You scoot closer and wrap your arms around her. She sobs.

 

“Before she left, she wanted to tell me something. I know she wanted me to know that she loves me. I stopped her. I asked her to wait until she is back.” You rub her back. “The one thing I regret, Clarke, is that I never got the chance to tell her that I love her and to hear her saying it to me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	14. Jus drein jus daun – Part I (Blood must have blood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests for people suffering anxiety:
> 
> (SPOILER! Skip this warning if you don't want to know the end of the chapter right away):
> 
> If you are emotionally attached and affected by anxiety, be sure that I will not harm Raven or Rayne. It will all be good.

**Jus drein jus daun – Part I (Blood must have blood)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You walk through the woods. It’s a sunny morning; a warm breeze carries all the scents of nature towards you. You hear birds singing and you see flowers blooming. You feel no pain and you walk without a brace. You feel content, but you’re missing Rayne.

 

After a while you enter a meadow. You see a tree in its middle and you hear a river somewhere close. You walk towards it and the closer you get, the clearer your vision becomes.

 

You see her sitting between her wolves. She looks towards you, a soft smile on her lips. You do not quicken your pace; you indulge yourself in her beauty.

 

When you reach her, she tilts her head. “Did you miss me?” Her voice is tender.

 

You smile. “Absolutely not.”

 

She rolls her eyes and laughs while she opens her arms. “Come here.” You turn and sit down between her legs, leaning into her. She nuzzles your neck and breathes you in. “I missed you.”

 

She holds you for a few minutes close, caressing you, before you find your words again. “I am scared, Rayne.”

 

She lays her head on your shoulder. “Don’t be. I would never let anything happen to you.”

 

You press your cheek against hers. “I am scared to lose you.”

 

She tightens her embrace. “Raven, I will always be with you.” You tilt your head so you can look into her eyes.

 

She places soft kisses on your shoulder. You close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of her fingertips stroking up your arms. When she touches the bracelet on your upper arm, she stops.

 

“You know what this bracelet means, don’t you?” Her voice is soft and shy.

 

You smile.  “Yes. I do.” You kiss her cheek and rest your lips there. “You could have told me, though.”

 

She takes your hand in hers and stokes your fingers. “You knew already. There was nothing to say.”

 

You stretch until your lips meet hers and it is the softest of all kisses. She wraps her arms tightly around you and pulls you closer. You wish this moment to never end.

 

You wake up and take in your surroundings. Clarke is sitting beside you. She hasn’t slept. Lexa is standing behind her.

 

“Where is Octavia?” Your voice is hoarse. You try not to cry. You wish you could fall back asleep and continue your dream and never wake up again.

 

Lexa nods towards the entry. “Outside. She is training.”

 

You sit up and nod. “I should get ready.”

 

Clarke takes a deep breath. She tries to contain herself. “We will wait outside. I will send Octavia in.” She leans towards you and kisses your cheek and hugs you. “We love you, Raven. It will be okay.”

 

You hug her back. You know she is lying, but you don’t want to make this harder for her than it already is.

 

When Clarke leaves, Lexa sits beside you and takes your hands in hers. “Raven, I am responsible for all my people. I am Heda, and I know you understand that I have no choice in this.”

 

You nod only slightly. You don’t know what to say. You understand; you really do.

 

Lexa looks down to your hand in hers. “Raven, I promised Rayne to protect you, and if it comes to that moment, I will.”

 

You close your eyes. “No.”

 

Lexa tilts her head. “What?”

 

You look at her. “Thank you, Lexa. But you will not risk a civil war because of me.”

 

“Raven-“

 

“No. Just let it be.” You feel a tear running down your cheek. “I am not that blind, Lexa. It has been too long. She should have been back by now.”

 

Lexa nods.

 

“Take care of Octavia and Clarke. Beja.” _Please._

 

Lexa rises. “I will.” She leans down and kisses your forehead. You enjoy it this time.

 

Octavia enters a few seconds after Lexa left. She walks towards you and helps you up. She is used to the procedure of assisting you with cleaning and dressing. You’re wearing one of Rayne’s black harnesses and her armor.

 

“What weapon will you choose, Raven?”

 

You look at Rayne’s arsenal and smile when you see two daggers. She once told you that those were her first ones. They are smaller and not as impressive as the pair she has now, but you like that they have history.

 

“Daggers.”

 

Octavia raises an eyebrow. “Why daggers? You would have better chances with a javelin. You are not that fast.”

 

You shrug. “I want the daggers.” You don’t give yourself any chances to win this. You at least want to hold Rayne’s daggers.

 

Octavia doesn’t fight you. She knows when to let it be and you are grateful for that. She applies the belt around your waist and you sheathe the daggers. It feels comfortable. You can’t help but to think about what Rayne would say if she could see you now.

 

You leave without saying another word.

 

There are a lot of people gathered around the fighting pit in the center of the village. You see Kahn already standing inside.

 

You walk as straight as you can. You do not slow down, you do not speed up. You feel Octavia tensing beside you.

 

“Octavia.”

 

She looks at you.

 

You smile at her. “Do you remember when Rayne ordered you to stay with me, protect me with your life, never leave my side and follow all my orders?”

 

Octavia rolls her eyes. “Yes.”

 

“Good.”

 

You approach the pit. Only a few steps and you are inside. You halt and Octavia does too. You turn towards her.

 

The seconds she looks into your eyes, she shakes her head. “Raven, no.”

 

“Octavia kom Trikru.” _Octavia of the Tree People._ “I unbind you from your duty and order you to stay out of this.”

 

“Raven, no!” Her voice is angry; her face shows pure panic. “Please, no, I can’t-“

 

You raise your hand and she falls silent. You look at her and you feel your heart clenching. You take a deep breath, take a step towards her and wrap your arms tightly around her. “I love you, you dork.” You kiss her cheek. “May we meet again.”

 

You nod at Lexa and Clarke who approach the two of you. Lexa lays her hand on Octavia’s shoulder and you bow your head in thanks, before you look at Clarke.

 

You said your goodbyes.

 

You turn and enter the pit.

 

You stand still and take a deep breath. Kahn is walking in circles around you. He paces like a hyena. You look over to your family.

 

Clarke has her mouth covered with her hand. She cries.

 

Lexa has her arm around her shoulder. You see rage in her eyes.

 

Octavia kneels on the ground, her fingers buried into the earth. She is shaking.

 

You close your eyes, tilt your head upwards and take a deep breath. You look up into the sky. You feel tears; you hold them back. You smile. You are not ready, but you are okay.

 

Kahn holds a dagger in his hand. He twirls it and throws it up and catches it again without looking at it. His voice sounds amused.

 

“You know, sky girl, I fought hard to become a member of this clan. Rayne is meant to be my wife and give birth to my children.”

 

You furrow and look at him, your hands resting on your daggers.

 

“You will not stand in the way. You are not one of us.” He starts to shout. He is angry. “You have no idea what it means to be one of us. You have no idea” he spits to the ground “what it means to love a woman like Rayne.”

 

You turn into his direction. He smiles maliciously when he sees you limping. “You are insane.” You take a step towards him. You blame it on the adrenaline. “She doesn’t love you.”

 

As soon as you finish the sentence, he leaps at you screaming. His face is distorted to a mad grimace.

 

You feel the impact of his shoulder on your chest. You feel the air being pressed out of your lungs. You feel how you lose contact to the ground. There are a few seconds you feel nothing besides the air around you. You feel a sharp pain on your head when you hit the ground. You feel a stone cutting your palm.

 

“You weak little cripple!” He is screaming at you with all the hatred he can muster. “What can you offer her?!” You feel his steps as he stomps towards you. “You are not worthy of her! You are a weak, broken, worthless fool!”

 

You open your eyes and blink a few times.

 

You see Clarke screaming and falling down to her knees. You see Octavia fighting three warriors that try to keep her away from you. You see Lexa crouching with her sword drawn and Nyko trying to talk her down.

 

You feel so sorry for hurting them. You blink again and turn into Kahn’s direction.

 

You see him leaping towards you, his arms raised over his head, holding his dagger. You see the light fading when his shadow is over you, the reflection of the sun on his blade blinding you.

 

You hear the thundering hooves of a horse.

 

You hear deafening snarls.

 

You hear your name being screamed.

 

You feel an impact beside you. You feel how you’re being pushed aside. You hear a blade screeching in protest and eventually breaking.

 

There is dead silence for seconds. You dare to try to open your eyes again. You see Clarke, with her mouth open and eyes wide. You see Octavia, still being held down by three warriors, looking behind you with big eyes. You see Lexa grinning and twisting her sword.

 

You shut your eyes closed and try to lean up on your arms. You’re being held down by a hand resting on your shoulder.

 

“Yu ste os?” _Are you okay?_

 

You nod.

 

“Yu ste laksen?” _Are you hurt?_

 

You shake your head.

 

“Yu get klin?” _Are you sure?_ “Ai op jus.” _I see blood._

 

You scan your body. There is a cut on your palm. You raise your hand and show it to her.

 

She _snarls_.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

It took you weeks to recover to a point where you were able to ride again. You still feel the pain in your side and you know you will feel it for much longer.

 

You are grateful that Raven asked you to take Phobos and Deimos with you; you would be dead without them.

 

_Raven._

 

She is all you think about while you press faster and faster through the forest.

 

_Raven._

 

You feel Mars’ muscles cramping. You only stopped for a little water in the last two days. Phobos and Deimos are fine with running for days without rest, but you and Mars feel fatigue approaching.

 

_Raven._

 

You beg Mars to speed up, again, when you enter the Trigeda territory. “Snap, Mars. Beja.” _Faster, Mars. Please._

 

Mars rears without breaking his stride and speeds up again.

 

The closer you’re coming to Ton DC, the louder Phobos and Deimos are snarling. Your heart feels constricted.

 

_Raven._

 

Mars bursts through the gate of Ton DC and you see the crowd gathered around the pit; you hear Kahn shouting. You feel dread.

 

“You weak little cripple! What can you offer her?! You are not worthy of her! You are a weak, broken, worthless fool!”

 

Mars does not slow down; he jumps over the heads of the crowd into the middle of the pit.

 

You jump off his back when he lands beside Raven; Mars does not break his stride and leaves the pit the same way he entered it.

 

When you touch the ground you roll over and shove Raven aside, your arm raised with a tight grip on your dagger. Phobos and Deimos are beside you, snarling and salivating like devils.

 

Kahn smashes his blade, which he has aimed at Raven, into yours; his blade gives in, you feel the metal cracking. His blade breaks.

 

There is absolute silence for a few seconds. You do not take your eyes off Kahn.

 

You have your free hand still resting on Ravens shoulder; you want to look at her, but you need to stay aware.

 

“Yu ste os?” _Are you okay?_

 

You feel Raven’s nod.

 

“Yu ste laksen?” _Are you hurt?_

 

You feel her shaking her head.

 

“Yu get klin?” _Are you sure?_ “Ai op jus.” _I see blood._

 

She lifts her hand so you see the cut on her palm in your peripheral vision.

 

You snarl.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	15. Jus drein jus daun – Conclusion (Blood must have blood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe slight sexual content.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Jus drein jus daun – Conclusion (Blood must have blood)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

“Ai gonplei kamp raun em en nou mou, Rayne.” _My fight is only with her, Rayne._ “Gon we gapa-de.” _Leave the pit_. Kahn’s voice is seething with anger. You ignore him.

 

“Lexa, chit kom au?” _Lexa, what is going on?_

 

You sister answers slowly. “Niron ou wamplei.“ _Loved one or death._

 

You do not move your hand from Raven’s shoulder. Your breathing is concentrated; you try to keep it even and rhythmic. You need to stay calm.

 

You address Kahn with a firm voice. “Ai sis op Raven rein.” _I will take Raven’s place._

 

He takes a step towards you and Raven. “Nowe!” _Never!_ “Yu laik nou emon!” _You are not hers!_

 

Phobos and Deimos leap in front of you; they shield you off.

 

“Daun ste pleni.” _That is enough_. You rise and grab Raven’s arm.

 

You look at her and you see the same relief and fear in her eyes you are sure you keep in your own. “Which in ai.” _Trust me._

 

Raven nods, only slightly. You take your dagger and cut the sleeve of her harness open. When the leather reveals the bracelet, the people around the pit start mumbling.

 

“Yo ai op.” _You all see._ “I laik emon en em laik ain.” _I am hers and she is mine._

 

Kahn’s eyes go wide in shock. A blood-freezing scream escapes his throat and he leaps towards you with his broken blade, ready to kill you and Raven.

 

You smile. You feel your adrenaline kicking in. You licked blood.

 

You dodge his attack with both of your daggers crossed, take a step back and kick your right foot so hard into his chest that he falls a few meters backwards.

 

“Octavia, sis op Raven au gapa-de en shil em op.” _Octavia, take Raven out the pit and protect her._

 

“Sha, Heda Rayne.” _Yes, Commander Rayne._ Your second runs towards the both of you, grabs Raven’s arm and waist and walks her out of the pit. While she carries Raven out, she addresses Kahn, who lays on his back on the ground, coughing. “Joka.” _Fucker._

 

As soon as Raven is outside the pit, you twist your daggers in your hands and stretch your neck.

 

“Phobos, Deimos. Gon we.” _Phobos, Deimos. Leave._

 

The wolves huff and trot out to Raven, Octavia, Lexa and Clarke.

 

Someone throws a new dagger into the pit; it is Kahn’s right to defend himself. You let him pick up his new blade. It’s no fun if he isn’t fighting back. He is shaking. You feel your smile growing wider and wider.

 

“En nau yu, Kahn.” _And now to you, Kahn._ You start to circle him and he gets back up to his feet. “Yu jomp ai houmon op taim ai ste gon we.” _You attacked my wife while I was gone._

 

He crouches. “She is not worthy of you! Can’t you see that?”

 

Your laugh is short, cold and hard. “Yu wan op nau.” _You die now._

 

Kahn leaps again; he is big and weighs a lot more than you. You could kill him within seconds; you decide not to. He will suffer.

 

You take a side step and he tries to cut your side while he regains his balance; you dodge the attack, carefully, so you don’t break his new blade in an instant. He turns and looks at you with hatred in his eyes. “You don’t understand.”

 

You tilt your chin upwards and shrug. You twist your daggers, waiting for him to attack again.

 

“She is a cripple, she is-“

 

You crouch and storm off towards him; you fake a step to the left, he moves his defense to adjust; you do a step to the right and ram your dagger upwards into his ribcage. You aim precisely. He will still be able to fight.

 

Usually you would twist your blade and end it. But not with him. You will keep him alive until he is bleeding out.

 

You pull your dagger back out and turn so you’re standing behind him. You take a step back, lift your right foot, twist your hip and kick into the back of his knee. You place the kick so that his knee will be twisted, but he will still be able to limp.

 

He falls to the ground, screaming in agony. You just smile. So much for calling Raven a cripple.

 

“Raven, sen op em yu led raun.” _Raven, show him your wound._ Raven holds out her hand, palm upwards, so you and Kahn can see the cut. “Sen in dei, Kahn?” _Do you see that, Kahn?_

 

He looks back and forth between Raven and you. He nods, grinding his teeth in pain.

 

“Os.” _Good._ You take a few steps towards him. “Jus drein, jus daun.” _Blood must have blood._ You fall down to your knees beside him and your dagger pierces through his hand. You pull your blade back out, but not as straight as before.

 

You hear two of the bones in his hand splitting. You turn and start pacing around him. You twist your daggers faster. The blood on the blades drops to the ground in wide circles. “Pleni?” _Enough?_

 

He sits on the ground, holding his split hand. He is groaning in pain. The hole in his side is bleeding and his hand doesn’t look any better. He starts going pale. He will pass out soon. How pathetic.

 

“Yu nou get in dei.” _You don’t know it._ “Yo na wan op.” _You will all die._ He coughs blood. “En em na wan op fos.” _And she will die first._ He looks at Raven.

 

You leap towards him and smash your right blade into his chest bone; the blade is stuck solid. You pull him up to his feet with the one hand holding that dagger. He screams. As soon as he is standing, you pull your blade out and attack him with both hands.

 

Your cuts are deep, but not deadly. You move fast, the people surrounding the pit start taking steps back to avoid the blood. He tries to say something, but you are sick of his voice.

 

You turn and shove your dagger up his chin; the blade gets stuck between his jaw. You pierced his tongue. You secure your stance and rip the blade back out. You split his tongue and jaw.

 

He falls backwards and stays down, whimpering and coughing blood. You stand beside him and look at him. Pathetic weakling.

 

“Frag em op, Heda!” _Kill him, Commander!_ Your people are shouting and chanting. You don’t care about them. There is only one opinion that counts for you.

 

You look at Raven. “Ai hodnes?” _My love?_

 

She nods.

 

You take one step back, twist your daggers and jump. You smash both blades into his heart, kneeling over him, your face inches from his. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over_. You turn the blades, his ribs are breaking and the cracking sound silences your people.

 

You stand up, and while doing so you pull your blades out of his dead body with enough force to rip his chest open and tear parts of his lungs outside. The pathetic leftovers of the little blood he had left in his system spills out of the arteries within a few seconds.

 

Someone is throwing up.

 

You shake the blood off your daggers with a swift swirl and sheathe them. You turn and walk towards Raven.

 

Your people always keep a respectful distance between themselves and you, but even more today. They nearly jump out of your way.

 

“Phobos, Deimos.” The wolves jump to your side. Octavia does not let go of Raven until you are close enough to touch her.

 

You halfway expected yourself to hold her like you always do; one hand around her waist, the other holding the wrist of her arm around your neck. Not today.

 

The second you are close enough, you kneel down a bit and lift her up with your hands at the back of her thighs. She wraps her legs around your waist and buries her face in your neck. You nod towards your sister and Clarke. You do not break your stride. You hold her tightly and securely in your arms, pressed against you and head towards your tent.

 

“Set daun.” _Stay down._ The wolves fall into their positions to either side of the entry and sit straight. They won’t let anyone in unless you allow it.

 

The flap falls closed behind you and you move one of your hands from her thigh to her head and hold her still. You kiss her neck and breathe her in.

 

She clings to you as if there is no tomorrow and you’re grateful for that. You don’t know how much time passes before she sniffs and leans her upper body a little away from you.

 

Raven cups your cheeks and strokes the tears you haven’t noticed away. You see blood on her cheek and your eyes go wide. You sit her down to her furs, cup her jaw and tilt her head softly to see where it comes from.

 

“Rayne.” Raven lays her hand over yours. “It’s not mine.”

 

You blush with understanding. You look down yourself. You’re covered in blood. “Moba, ai hodnes.” _Forgive me, my love._

 

Raven lays her fingers over your lips and shakes her head. She moves her fingers from your lips to your jaw and strokes your cheek. “We should take a bath.”

 

You nod and get up, not without placing a kiss on every one of her fingers and the back of her hands. You step to the entry and poke your head out. “Deimos, ge Octavia hir.” _Deimos, get Octavia here._

 

The wolf comes back a minute later with your seconds sleeve in his fangs; she is still attached to it. You ask her to fetch several herbs, salves and bandages as well as water and embers to heat up the bathtub.

 

In the meantime, you clean Raven’s cut on her palm and stitch it.

 

“I’m done, Heda.” _Commander_. “Anything else I can do?”

 

You shake your head. “Mochof, Octavia.” _Thank you, Octavia_.

 

She turns and leaves, but stills at the tent’s entry. “Heda?” _Commander?_

 

You turn your head and look at her. She stands tall, but her eyes are pooled. You nod.

 

“Mounin houm, Heda.” _Welcome home, Commander._ “I am happy you have returned. I will keep watch until you decide otherwise. Let me know if you need something else.” She bows her head, turns and leaves.

 

You look after her for a while. She evolved; she became calmer, more controlled. You’re proud of her.

 

Raven lays her hand under your chin and tilts your head upwards. You look into her hazel eyes and she smiles. She lays her arms around your neck and you lift her up and carry her to the back section of the tent.

 

You help her out of the harness, a proud smile on your lips when you undo the belt with your first pair of daggers.

 

"I hope you don't mind." She bites her lip and looks up to you.

 

You shake your head. "Not at all. They suit you, keep them. I will teach you how to fight with them." She holds onto your shoulders when you help her out of her pants. "How is your leg?"

 

She smiles a crooked smile. "Hurts."

 

You nod. You feel sorry for not being here to tend to her injury. You are sorry for a lot of things. You are lost in thought when Raven pulls you back into reality with her fingers on your cheek.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

You lean into her touch. She feels so good. "Yes." You cover her hand with yours and kiss her palm. "Forgive me." You grab her waist and lift her into the bathtub. When she is comfortable, you turn to leave and give her some privacy.

 

"Rayne?"

 

You still. You don't turn around. "Yes?"

 

You hear her taking a deep breath. "Please stay."

 

When you don't answer, simply because you can't find words, she continues.

 

"Please. Join me?"

 

You turn around slowly and look into her eyes. They are pooled with tears. She is leaning towards you, her arm outstretched and her fingers reaching for you. You can't say no to her.

 

You don't want to. You take her hand in yours and kiss its back.

 

You undo your belt and daggers, your boots, your harness. She watches you intensely but it doesn't bother you. When you got rid of everything but your shirt, you hesitate for a second, but pull it over your head eventually.

 

Raven breathes in sharply. She looks with horror in her eyes at the black bruise and the four stitched cuts on your side. "My god, Rayne what happened?" You step closer. She touches your side with soft fingertips.

 

“It will heal.” You hold your hands out and Raven takes them. You step into the tub and sit down slowly, adjusting yourself so Raven is as comfortable as possible.

 

When you are settled down, on the opposite side of her, you let your fingers move up her thigh. You feel her hardened muscles and the tension. You furrow and begin to massage the tension out, starting on her upper thigh.

 

“I missed that.” She closes her eyes with a light smile on her lips.

 

You’re glad she has her eyes closed. You don’t dare to imagine the grin on your face. You always enjoyed massaging her; you missed it. You missed her.

 

The water is already getting cold by the time you finished tending to her leg and you are both clean. You help her out of the tub and cover her with a sheet. When you’re sitting down on her furs, she leans into you and you hold her close.

 

Her fingers trace the stitches on your side. “Can I clean and wrap them up for you?”

 

You nod. She takes the bandages and salves from the little table and you explain the different herbs and oils to her while she applies an antiseptic salve and a healing ointment to the cuts. “Will you tell me what happened?”

 

You sigh. “It was a bear.” Raven looks at you with wide eyes. You feel bashful and look down onto your hands, which you have resting in your lap.

 

You see her hand moving, covering yours. She laces her fingers into yours and squeezes your hands softly. “I thought I had lost you.”

 

You look up to her. You see tears in her eyes. “Raven.” You scoot closer and pull her into your arms. She wraps herself around you and presses herself tightly against you. “I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to put you through this.”

 

She shakes her head against your neck. You feel her tears running down your skin. Her hands find their way up your back and your neck; she buries her fingers in your hair.

 

You hold one arm securely around her waist, your free hand moves to her cheek and you tilt her head upwards. You look back and forth between her beautiful eyes and her lips and she leans in, just a little.

 

You close the distance. She melts into you like warm honey and you kiss her with a hunger you never felt before. She pulls you down into the furs, and you let her.

 

You can’t say when or why, but at some point you are on your back and she is straddling you, hovering over you and roaming all over your body with her hands and lips.

 

There has never been a time you allowed someone to lead, you enjoy it with her. You know she needs it. You will always give her what she needs.

 

You feel warm and content, you enjoy the shimmer of her skin in the light of the fire. You enjoy the wanting look in her eyes; you place one hand on her hip and stretch your other towards her.

 

She bends down and kisses your neck, your cheek and the spot under your ear. “Ai hod yu in, Rayne. Beja yu no bants ai nodotaim.” _I love you, Rayne. Please don’t leave me again._

 

You cup her cheek and she leans a bit up to look into your eyes. “Ai nou na teik yu bants nowe. Ai hod yu in seintaim.” _I will never leave you. I love you too._ Raven bends down and kisses the last little of your reservation and defense away.

 

You move your hands to her waist and she starts rocking her hips against you. You let your hands slip down to her hip and support her movements. She throws her head back and you whisper words of love and adoration. You never heard a more beautiful sound than her moaning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	16. Osir kamp raun houm kom taim ash daun gon we (We stay home until the snow is gone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Osir kamp raun houm kom taim ash daun gon we (We stay home until the snow is gone)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You pace around the table. You are up for hours.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa’s voice is somewhere between annoyed and amused.

 

You still and look at her.

 

“Give them a little time. Rayne is injured.” She plays with her dagger.

 

You furrow. “Kahn didn’t hit her?” You walk over to her. “Or did I miss something?”

 

She shakes her head. “She has a major injury at her side. It was obvious to see.”

 

Your eyes grow wide. “Obvious to see? I saw nothing besides her being… I am lacking words. It was… She was…”

 

Lexa laughs. “Okay, I correct myself. It was obvious to see for me.”

 

You grumble and sit down beside Lexa. You haven’t managed to make yourself comfortable when you hear the flap and jump up again. Raven and Rayne are entering, followed by Octavia and the wolves.

 

You run towards Raven and she smiles at you with her arms wide open. “Hey, Clarke.”

 

You wrap your arms tightly around her. “Raven I am so, so happy you are okay.” You squeeze her and she laughs. You missed the sound of her laugh.

 

“Me too, Clarke.” You release her of your embrace and face Rayne. She looks relaxed. You tilt your head and take a breath. You close the distance between you and Rayne and lay your arms slowly around her; you don’t want to cause her pain by applying too much pressure on whatever wound she has according to Lexa.

 

You feel her stiffen for a second before she relaxes again. You smile against her shoulder when you feel her arms around you, squeezing you gently. “Mounin houm, Rayne.” _Welcome home, Rayne._ You lean back to look at her. “We missed you.”

 

She tilts her head and smiles, really smiles at you. “I missed you too, Clarke.”

 

Your eyes grow wide. You look to Lexa, back to Rayne, over to Raven, back to Rayne. “Since when do you speak English?”

 

Raven joins Lexa’s laugh. You shoot Octavia a look, she shrugs. Rayne leans in to kiss your cheek and turns towards her sister.

  
“Ai sis.” _My sister._ The words leave both their mouths at the same time. Lexa walks towards her. They hug each other tightly and rest their foreheads together. It looks very intimate and beautiful. Not one of you say a word. After minutes they let go of each other and sit down.

 

You take your seat beside Lexa, your fingers laced and Raven sits down beside Rayne. Phobos and Deimos lay down beside the entry of the tent and Octavia sits to the other side of Raven.

 

Lexa leans back. “What happened, sister?”

 

Rayne looks at Raven and takes her hand in her own. She smiles at her before she turns back to you. “We have a problem, Lexa.”

 

Lexa furrows and tilts her head. “What kind of problem? Azgeda?”

 

Rayne shakes her head. “I don’t think so, Lex.”

 

**Several weeks ago, Border to the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

The snow didn’t stop falling and there were already five feet more or less frozen solid. Mars has no problem with that. You are, again, happy you have him. You stroked his neck and, as always when you are alone, shared your thoughts with him.

 

You were concerned; the few survivors of the raided villages all said the same thing. A group of Azgeda attacked. You didn’t know why, but you doubt that. You already fought two wars with the Azgeda, you know how they act.

 

Burning down villages without salvaging what’s rare and valuable in the lands of snow and ice, is not something they would do. An older man, a blacksmith, told you that he was hiding in the woods close by when he saw the group of Azgeda warriors setting the hut with the forge and the weapons aflame.

 

Azgeda warriors would never burn a forge or a filled arsenal of weapons down.

 

A woman of another, bigger village further in the north, where meat and corn are more than rare, told you that they burnt down the storage.

 

The Azgeda would never burn food.

 

You were in the middle of the forest, a day’s ride from the next village, when you heard something moving in the frozen snow not far ahead of you. You dismounted Mars and crouched through the snow.

 

The closer you got, the clearer you heard the noises. You stayed hidden behind a tree and scanned your surroundings.

 

Four warriors. One girl, about your age. The men had surrounded the girl; there wasn’t a doubt that she was in trouble.

 

You gave signs to Phobos and Deimos to attack from the other side; the wolves moved fast without a sound.

 

When one of the warriors grabbed the girl’s arm, you drew your dagger and tossed it right in the back of his skull; he was dead in an instant.

 

Phobos and Deimos took care of one each, the last warrior stormed towards you, screaming.

You crouched and prepared; the warrior never made it to you.

 

The bear came out of literally nowhere; the beast trampled the warrior to death and attacked you. You were not able to avoid the swipe of his paw and it ripped gashes in your side. The girl, still lying behind you, shouted at the beast and it stopped.

 

She looked at you, her hand on the bears back. Phobos and Deimos were shielding you off, but not attacking; they already had their experience with ice bears and stayed defensive.

 

The girl looked at you. “Moba.” _Sorry._ “Gon we en bak op nowe.” _Leave and never come back.”_ She bowed her head slightly before she mounted the bear and was gone.

 

Phobos stayed with you while Deimos ran off to get Mars; you found shelter in a cave and your wolves hunted, protected and warmed you until your wounds were healed to a point you were able to ride again.

 

You knew it was useless to look for that girl on your own, so you followed your instinct and headed back home as fast as you could.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Lexa leans back in her throne, resting her chin on her hand. “The warriors were Azgeda?”

 

Rayne shakes her head. “No. They fought different, looked different. They wore Azgeda harnesses but believe me, my sister, they were not Azgeda.”

 

You furrow. “And the girl?”

 

Rayne smiles at you. “She definitely was Azgeda. And I am very sure that the bear she mounted was the one that spared Kahn’s life all those years ago. Red eyes like those are too rare.”

 

Lexa smashed her dagger into the table. “I knew it!” She jumps up and starts pacing around. “That bear was too big and too rabid; he would have never been able to defend himself against that beast.”

 

You rise and walk over to Lexa. You cup her cheeks and kiss her. “Don’t be angry. He is dead.”

 

Raven clears her throat. “So, what does all of that mean?” Rayne stretches and a hissing sound escapes her lips. “Hey, careful tiger.” Raven takes her hand and leans over to take a look at her bandages. “You pulled it enough yesterday when you had to show off.”

 

If someone had told you that Raven would scold Rayne and you had to bet on a reaction, all your money would have been on her eye roll.

 

Rayne looks down on her hands. “Moba, ai hodnes.” _Forgive me, my love._

 

You shoot Octavia a look and she shakes her head. You read the ‘don’t even think it’ off her lips. You nod. Raven tamed the beast. But on the other hand, you did a pretty good job yourself.

 

Lexa takes a deep breath. “We will stay in Ton DC until the winter is over and you have recovered, Rayne.”

 

Her sister nods and Lexa continues. “Then we will head out together and look for that girl and her ice bear.” She looks at her sister’s side. “Jus drein, jus daun.” _Blood must have blood._

 

You sit back down. “With ‘we‘ you mean the five of us?”

 

Lexa nods. “As well as a group of guards.”

 

Rayne looks at Lexa and locks their eyes. “We will be too slow. There are not many horses big and strong enough to travel through the Azgeda territory.” She looks over to Raven. “I do not intend to spend the whole summer in ice and snow.”

 

Lexa sighs. “You are right. I will send Indra to the Stelkru for a horse for Octavia.”

 

Rayne raises an eyebrow. “As far as I know one of Shak’s brother’s is still without a master.”

 

“Because he despises humans.” Lexa looks at Octavia. “But you have a point. If he will accept anyone, then it is Octavia.”

 

Octavia steps forward. “I’ve never sat on a horse.” She looks so innocent and shy that you can’t help your laugh. You rise and walk over to your friend to hug her.

 

“No worries, O. I will teach you with Shak.” You kiss her cheek.

 

Lexa smiles. “Good. We will leave the first morning without frost.”

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You are sitting with Rayne by a fire near the stalls when Indra finally returns after two weeks with the last one of Shak’s brothers held by the Stelkru. _Horse People._ The travel took her longer than expected. She approaches you and your sister with a very stubborn horse.

 

“Heda, dei stel ste branwoda.” _Commander, this horse is useless._ Indra always looks grumpy, but you can tell she is far beyond pissed by now. You tilt your head and raise an eyebrow. Indra sighs. “It is full of contempt; it won’t submit to a master.”

 

“Chil au, Indra.” _Stay calm, Indra._ You suppress a smile. “Em ste os.” _He is good_.

 

She huffs. “Moun hedon, Heda?” _Anything else,_ _Commander?_

 

“Sha. Teik em set raun ona tribau en konge Octavia, Clarke en Raven.” _Yes, bind him to a post and summon Octavia, Clarke and Raven._

 

Indra nods once and turns to fulfill her task.

 

As soon as she is out of sight, Rayne snorts. “Ai nou get in haukom yu kamp raun em.” _I don’t understand why you keep her around._

 

You laugh. “Em ste toli tofon ba badan op osir, ai sis.” _She is very difficult but loyal to us, my sister._

 

Rayne rolls her eyes and smiles at you. You chat for a while longer and ignore the horse’s efforts to escape his ties.

 

After a few minutes Rayne smiles at you, nodding towards the steed. “Em ste tofon.” _He is tough._ “Em ste os.” _He is good._

 

Lexa nods. “Sha. Em ste badan op Octavia os.” _Yes. He will serve Octavia well.”_

 

This moment Octavia, Clarke and Raven appear. You rise and open your arms to embrace Clarke, just as Rayne does with Raven.

 

You are impressed how well Raven walks since Rayne is back. She is still limping, but doesn’t need help anymore. If she keeps it up in that speed, she will run within a few months.

 

“Holy fuck.”

 

The four of you shoot Octavia a questioning look. Octavia stands straight and stiff. “Moba.” _Sorry._

Rayne rolls her eyes and you step beside her. “This is your horse, Octavia. He is the last remaining brother of Shak.” You pat her shoulder. “You learned how to ride Shak, so it should be no problem with this one.”

 

The horse tilts its head towards you and snorts. Octavia takes a step back. “Heda, he doesn’t like me.”

 

Raven laughs. “O, look at that face.” She points towards the horse. “He has no problem with you, he hates everyone.”

 

Clarke laughs in your arms. You enjoy the sound. “Raven, don’t be an ass.” She winks towards Octavia. “Don’t be shy.”

 

Octavia swallows and Raven keeps laughing. “Raven, for fucks sake shut up.”

 

Rayne raises an eyebrow. Before she can say something, Raven puts her hand flat on her belly and shakes her head. Your sister relaxes.

 

“O, it is just a horse.” She takes a step towards Octavia. “You are second to Heda Rayne and a great warrior of the Trikru.” Raven wiggles her eyebrows.

 

Octavia takes a deep breath. “You fucker.” She punches Ravens arm softly and turns, takes again a deep breath and approaches the horse. “Hey you.” She stills and turns. “What is his name?”

 

“He has no name. He never accepted a master and only as a master you can name a horse.” You explain it as calmly as you can.

 

“What do you mean he never had a master?” Octavia’s eyes grow wide.

 

“He doesn’t like people. He has never been mounted.” Your voice is dry.

 

Octavia hangs her head. “I’m so fucked.” She turns and looks at the horse. “So. You hate people, huh?” She takes another few steps. The horse tries to rear, but it is too tightly bound to the post. “Hey there, keep calm.” Octavia hurries in her steps and lays her hands to the reins. “Who did that to you?”

 

The horse stills; you are already impressed.

 

Octavia starts to undo the reins. “Okay, so let’s talk about this.” She looks into his eyes. “I understand you don’t like people. Most of them are dumbasses anyway. I don’t want to be your master. Let’s try to be friends, what do you think?” She tilts her head.

 

The horse is calm. The reins are loose now, he could run. He stays and lowers his head.

 

Octavia puts her hands on his forehead. “Okay. Let’s take a walk together?” She drops his reins and starts to walk towards the forest. “Come on Buddy.” He follows her.

 

“Chek au dei.” _Look at this._ “Em don dula op lukot.” _She made a friend._ Rayne sounds proud of her second.

 

You smile. “Ai get klin hasta dei.” _I was sure about that._ “Sheigeda ste komba raun.” _Night is coming._ You look over to your sister and she nods.

 

“Deimos, masta op em en shil em op.” _Deimos, follow them and protect them._ The wolf huffs and trots after Octavia and Buddy.

 

**Today, forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You hear Deimos behind you; he does not try to hide his presence. You feel a warmth in your chest. They sent him after you to protect you. You close your eyes, smiling, and shake your head.

 

They all love you for who you are.

 

You saw Lexa and Clarke growing close; since Lexa told you to run and save the others while she was carrying Clarke half unconscious out of the mountain, you know that those two are meant to be. You are happy for both of them.

 

As much as for Rayne; she gave you a chance when no one else did. She trains you every day. And yeah, she is hard on you sometimes, but you need that. She challenges you. And if you are sure of something, than it is that Rayne is the best thing that could have happened to Raven.

 

You feel like part of a family. You have a purpose and a life that fulfills you. You wake up every day with a smile on your lips. You never felt that alive.

 

You feel tears running down your cheeks. You still and wipe them off with your fingers; when you look at your fingertips, you see that you smeared your war paint. You start laughing and crying harder at the same time.

 

Buddy lowers his head beside you and nudges your face with his nose. “Thank you, Buddy.” You stroke his face. “I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Deimos’ snarl snaps you out of your thoughts. You crouch and draw your sword. When you see what caused the wolf to snarl, your eyes grow wide. “Oh fuck.”

 

You stand between Buddy and Deimos. Several meters ahead you see a bear. A fucking huge bear. A fucking huge, white bear.

 

Deimos snarls low and constant while he tries to urge you to run. The ice bear growls.

 

Buddy nudges your shoulder. You grab his mane and mount him. You are proud of yourself; that never worked with Shak.

 

Buddy turns and storms off to Ton DC. The ice bear follows you; he is fast. Buddy is faster.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	17. Baga ou lukot (Enemy or friend)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Baga ou lukot (Enemy or friend)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You bury your fingers into Buddy’s mane and the tighter your grip gets, the faster he runs. You feel the wind an your face and painful in your eyes.

 

You turn around a few times to check up on Deimos; he is close, circling you. Two times he barks and Buddy jumps over a trunk. He adjusts naturally to the wolf’s warnings.

 

Ton DC is close and you raise your voice, calling for your Commanders. “Heda! Baga komba raun!” _Commander! Enemy approaching!_ You keep shouting it on repeat with all force. When you pass the gate of Ton DC, guards appear, weapons drawn and close the path behind you.

 

Buddy stops and rears when you see Lexa and Rayne running towards you; you jump off his back and kiss his nose. “Mochof, Buddy.” _Thanks, Buddy._ The steed nudges your face.

 

“Octavia, chit kom au?” _Octavia, what happened?_ Rayne’s voice is filled with worry. Deimos runs to her side.

 

You draw your sword and throw a quick glance to the gate; the bear has not yet arrived. “An ice bear; he chased me back here.”

 

Lexa draws her sword. “Ice bear? Here?!” She turns. “Indra!”

 

The general approaches. “Sha, Heda?” _Yes, Commander?_

 

Lexa growls. “Sis op Clarke en Raven en shil em op, konge ai gonas!“ _Take Clarke and Raven and protect them! Summon my warriors!_

 

Rayne’s voice roars into a different direction. “Teik em laud tromon-de!” _Sound the horn!_

 

The horns boom through the village within seconds. Every capable warrior appears with drawn weapons.

 

“Yu ste os?“ _Are you okay?_ You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn. Rayne looks at you, her face concentrated and hard, but her eyes soft. You feel your heart swelling.

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._ You stand tall. “Mochof.” _Thank you._

 

Rayne nods and the two of you hurry with Lexa to the gate.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

“Hod op dei nau, Indra!” _Stop this now, Indra!_ Raven is seething. “You can’t lock us up in here!”

 

“I can. Heda ordered me to protect you.” Her head is slightly bowed; she turns and locks the door.

 

You take Raven’s hand. “Raven, we need to get out of here.” Your friend looks at you and nods.

 

“Question is how.” She furrows and takes in her surroundings. You are in a little cellar. It seemed to be kind of a prison cell. “That door is massive and I have nothing to blow it up with.”

 

Your eyes widen. “Blow it up? We are still inside, you know.”

 

She rolls her eyes. “We can’t blow it up anyway. We have no tools to lever the hinges out.” Raven examines the bars and takes a deep breath. “Deimos!”

 

You furrow. “What are you doing?”

 

Raven shoots you a smile. “I can’t open it from the inside, so I will open it from the outside.

 

“And Deimos will come?”

 

Raven nods and winks. “He always does.”

 

That second you hear someone hammering against the door, again and again until it breaks. In comes Deimos, wiggling his tail. He approaches the bars and stuffs his nose between them to nudge Raven’s hand.

 

“Deimos, I need to get out of here.” She looks at the wolf. “Can you help me?”

 

The wolf’s face hardens. He growls and nudges Ravens hand while he scratches his paws over the floor.

 

“I think he wants us to back off.” You take Raven’s hand and you hurry to the far end of the room. “What is he-“

 

Deimos turns and leaps; he pushes himself off the floor and against the opposite wall. It looks impressive as the wolf catches himself with all four paws on the wall and pushes itself with all force back against the bars.

 

You hear metal screeching in protest.

 

Deimos does it, again and again, and at his forth try the bars fall apart. Deimos rolls over the floor and jumps up in front of Raven. He wiggles his tail.

 

Raven bows down and nuzzles the wolf. “Thanks, boy.” She places a kiss on his nose. “Take me to Momma.” Raven mounts the wolf and looks at you. “Jump up, Clarke.”

 

You can’t hold back your laugh. You jump on the back of the wolf and hold onto Raven, who leans forward and buries her hands deep in his fur.

 

Deimos trots more than he runs; but he gets you to the gates. You assume he knows how precious you are to his master. You slide off his back as soon as you approach the warriors. Raven nods towards a tree and you see Rayne there with a bow in her hand.

 

You nod at Raven and make your way to Lexa’s side.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Ton DC is ready for war and so are you. You remember your first time with an ice bear; you know they are devastating. You have never seen one outside Azgeda territory.

 

Rayne stands beside you with drawn daggers; Phobos to her left.

 

“Ai sis.” _My sister._ You whisper, and she nods towards you without taking her eyes off the road to the gate.

 

“Dei ste ifi.” _This is risky._ “Chit jomp op osir hir? _Why attack us here?_

 

Rayne shakes her head. “Ai nou wich in disha ste zog raun.“ _I don’t believe that this is an ambush._

 

“Heda!” _Commander!_ “Chek au!” _Look!_

 

You and Rayne see the ice bear approaching; he isn’t running. The closer the beast trots, the clearer you can see his eyes, the harder the grip is on your heart.

 

“Em bilaik seimon.” _It is the same_. You hear the dread in Rayne’s voice.

You furrow. “Ai get in.” _I know._ What you don’t know is why he is here, after all these years.

 

“Rayne, stel op.” _Rayne, hide._ Your sister doesn’t question your order. She moves fast, hidden by her warriors and climbs on top of a tree close to the gate. She takes over a guard’s bow and aims.

 

You take a few steps forward; you place yourself in front of your warriors and in the center of the gate. You didn’t see it before; now you do. The bear is mounted by a rider.

 

“Bak op!” _Stay back!_ “Chon yu bilaik?” _Who are you?_

 

The bear comes to a halt just a few meters in front of you and the rider dismounts; they struggle. You can’t see their face; they are covered in furs.

 

You take another step forward when you feel a hand on your side. You turn and your eyes grow wide. “Clarke.”

 

She nods and stays close; a step behind you.

 

The rider starts to walk towards you. “Ai don tell op, bak op ou gon we!” _I said stay back or die!_

 

The rider halts. They lift their arms to show they are unarmed and remove the furs covering their face.

 

She is a young woman, about your age. She is pale as death and bruised. Half her face is covered in blood. You raise your hand and your warriors relax their battle stance.

 

“Chon yu bilaik?” _Who are you?_ “Chit yu gaf in?” _What do you want?_

 

“Sis op ai, beja.” _Help me, please._

 

You furrow. This girl is in no condition to fight.

 

“Dison pon klin, Heda.” _A trick, Commander._ Indra appears on your right. “Em ste spichen.” _She is lying._

 

“Daun ste pleni!” You are impressed by the authority in Clarke’s voice. “Set daun, Indra.” _Stay down, Indra._ “I will deal with you later for locking me and Raven up in a cell like criminals.”

 

You would love to beat the crap out of your general here and now; but that bear and the girl come first. Clarke squeezes your wrist.

  
“Sha, ai kwin?” _Yes, my queen?_

 

Clarke steps beside you. “She is injured. Let me help her.”

 

You do not trust that girl, nor that bear. But Clarke is right. “Rayne!”

 

“Dison gada laik ain.” _The girl is mine._

 

Rayne has her arrow aimed at the girl and you take care of the bear. “Slowly, Clarke.” You start walking towards the girl when the bear roars; you still.

 

“Anzu, set daun!” _Anzu, stay down!_ The girl shouts at her follower. The bear lies down, his eyes resting on his master. The girl turns back towards you. “Moba, Heda.” _Forgive me, Commander._ The girl coughs. “Em dula emo dula en shil ai op.” _He is doing his job and protects me._ She coughs again and loses her balance, which causes her to fall over.

 

“Okay that’s it.” Clarke walks towards the girl, you know there is no use in stopping her, so you stay by her side. You reach the girl the second she collapses.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You order your warriors to carry the girl into your tent, but the bear roars at every man coming close to her. In the end, you carry her yourself; the bear accepts it.

 

You lay her down and Clarke starts to tend to her wounds. Her clothes and armor, as well as her furs are soaked with blood.

  
“Rayne, can you lend me your dagger?” Clarke asks your sister. Before you or Rayne can say no, Raven offers her one of her own.

 

Clarke cut’s the furs and fabric open and reveals more cuts and bruises than you expected. It is a wonder that that girl is still alive.

 

When Clarke and Raven finished washing her, Rayne steps closer. You all move very slowly; Anzu, the girl’s bear, as she called him, accepts women in her presence, but you do not trust that beast.

 

Rayne takes a closer look at the girls face and her marks. “Lexa, ai sis.” _Lexa, my sister._

 

“Sha? Chit?” _Yes? What?_

 

“Lexa, em na em.” _Lexa, it is her._

 

You furrow and step close. “The girl you saved?” Rayne nods. “Which means that Anzu is the bear we faced together all those years ago.”

 

You look over to the beast. His eyes appear to be black; but they are red.

 

“Dei laik Azgeda.” _These are_ Azgeda. You take a look. Rayne shows you tattoos on the girls back, her shoulder and down her arm and ribcage.

 

“You two, go and hold your talk somewhere else or help me here.” Clarke sounds annoyed.

 

“Moba, Clarke.” _Forgive me, Clarke._ Rayne steps closer to your queen and helps her to stitch cuts and tend to bruises.

 

“Lexa”. You look towards your sister.

 

“Sha, Rayne?” _Yes, Rayne?_

 

She takes a deep breath and grits her teeth. “Indra.”

 

You nod. “I’ll leave you here to tend to the girl. Keep an eye on that bear.” You turn around and start walking out of the tent. “I will deal with Indra.”

 

Indra is a good general. She is loyal and a great teacher; she trained most of your warriors. She always was one of the few people in your life whose opinion counted for you. But it is unacceptable that she locked Clarke and Raven up during an attack.

 

You step into your tent and Indra stands in the middle of the room beside the fire, her hands crossed behind her back, waiting. “Heda.” _Commander._ She greets you and bows her head.

 

You walk past her and sit down. “Indra, sit down.” She does as she is ordered to. “What is wrong, Indra?”

 

She looks at you for a while. “May I speak freely?”

 

You nod and lean back.

 

“I respect you, Lexa. I’ve known you since you were a baby, as well as your sister. I had my part in raising the both of you, and Anya was my second as you were her seconds.” She looks down onto her hands. “I see us as family.”

 

“I deem you two as great leaders, without a doubt the greatest we have had since the bombs. You are consequent and you honor the lives of your people above all else.”

 

You furrow.

 

“I tell you this with a heavy heart, Lexa, and all respect I can muster. Clarke makes you weak. She clouds your mind, she influences your decisions.” She takes a deep breath. “And Raven does the same with your sister.”

 

You draw your dagger and start playing with it. You always do when you are lost in thought. Are you weak? Does your love for Clarke make you weak?

 

“Indra, do you think Clarke is a good leader?”

 

Your general leans back. “I think she is.” She looks up and huffs. “She is unfamiliar with our ways, she is in many ways younger than you are and not as experienced as you, but she is a good leader.” Indra looks back at you.

 

“Why did you lock Clarke and Raven up?”

 

Indra furrows. “Octavia told us about an ice bear. It was obvious that it had to be Azgeda. I knew those girls wouldn’t stay away from you, so I locked them up in hope to keep your minds clear.”

 

You nod. “So, you have no problem with Clarke and Raven?”

 

Your general shakes her head. “You love Clarke. Rayne loves Raven. I am in no position to have personal qualms.” She leans towards you. “I see that you and your sister are happy, Lexa. I wish nothing else for both of you.”

 

You smile. “Thank you, Indra.” You rise. “As soon as we have dealt with this girl, we will travel to Polis and announce the celebration.”

 

“You wish to join Clarke?”

 

“As Rayne wishes to join Raven. You said it yourself, Clarke is a great leader. She learns fast, and she will make us all stronger, Indra.” You take a deep breath. “And Rayne never wanted to lead. She deals with the humans, I with the politics.” You shrug. “Raven will have the power of a Heda, she will not use it.”

 

Indra rises as well and steps towards you. She stills a feet away from you. “Mochof, Heda.” _Thank you, Commander._

 

You lay an arm around her and hug her.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You stitch her up as good as you can and Rayne is a great help. You finish up, clean her again and cover her with furs.

 

You look over to Raven and Octavia; they sit cross-legged beside Anzu, each of them leaning on Phobos and Deimos. It is a strange picture. Somehow Anzu looks a little lost between the two girls and the wolves.

 

You hear a moan and turn your attention back to the girl. “Hey there, easy.” You lay your arm around her shoulders; she is lying on her belly. “You are okay, don’t move.”

 

Her eyes flutter open. “Weron be ai? Anzu?” _Where am I? Anzu?_ At the sound of his master’s voice Anzu rises and trots over to the furs; he places his head on the edge and a whining sound escapes his throat. He nudges his nose softly against the girl’s cheek.

 

Rayne steps beside you. “Ton DC. Yu ste klir.” _Ton DC. You are safe._ She lowers herself so she can look into the girl’s eyes. “Chon yu bilaik?” _Who are you?_

 

“Ai laik Fae, Prisa kom Azgeda en ai gaf sis au kom Heda.“ _I am Fae, Princess of the Ice People and I need the Commander’s help._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	18. Rein kom fotaim (Rain of the past)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Rein kom fotaim (Rain of the past)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

Rayne asks you to hurry and get Lexa; she also asks you to be aware of her reaction. You tilt your head while you turn to get Lexa while Rayne attaches her daggers to her belt. You hear her speak to Raven while you are leaving.

 

“Ai hodnes.” _My love._ “This may escalate fast. Please stay back.”

 

You feel nervous when you tell Lexa that the girl introduced herself as Fae. You have seen Lexa angry, but this is a new level. She snaps at you to get out of her way, with her sword drawn. You turn and hurry back to Rayne.

 

You run into the tent. “Heda Rayne, Lexa ste pis.” _Commander Rayne, Lexa is pissed._

 

Rayne only nods and gives sign to you to stay with Raven at the back section of the tent. Clarke still stands beside Fae. You look at the girl.

 

She is skinny and pale; she looks like death. She is more covered in blue and black bruises and angry cuts than healthy skin. Her eyes have a strange but beautiful violet shimmer and her hair is white as snow.

 

You snap out of your observation when Lexa enters the tent, her sword in her hand.

 

Rayne steps in front of her. “Ai sis. Chil au.” _My sister, calm down._

 

“Gon we, Rayne,.” _Out of my way, Rayne._

 

Rayne crouches slightly; her hands rest on her daggers hilts. “Lexa, beja.” _Lexa, please._

 

Lexa widens her stance. “Yu get in chit em don!” _You know what she did!_ “Gon we ou gon raun, Rayne.” _Out of my way or fight, Rayne._

 

Anzu growls; Fae puts her tiny hand on his mighty head and he stills.

 

Phobos and Deimos move beside you; the fur on their back stands up straight. They keep licking their lips constantly; they are nervous. Raven is behind you as well as Clarke. You are usually a little sassier than this. “Stay behind me, please.” You swallow. You have no idea what to do.

 

“Lexa. Stedaunon don gon we en kikon ste enti.” _Lexa. The dead are gone, the living are hungry._ Rayne takes a few steps towards her and draws her daggers; you see what she is doing. She tries to get Lexa out of the tent and away from potential casualties.

 

You see Rayne giving you a sign with her fingers.

 

_Clear the area._

 

You can do that. You grab Raven’s arm and Clarke’s hand. You pull them further away and whisper. “Okay pretty ladies, this is going to get fucking ugly. We leave now.”

 

“Costia ste daun en em ste kikon.” _Costia is dead and she is alive._ “Weron ste raitnes?” _Where is the justice?_ Lexa’s voice is a growl; she adjusts to her sister and she steps back.

 

“Yu gaf in gon raun ai, ai sis?” _Do you want to fight me, my sister?_

 

Lexa is caught off guard by that. “Nowe.” _Never._ “Ai gonplei kamp raun em.“ _My fight is only with her._

 

Rayne shakes her head. “Ai hod you in, ai sis. Moba.” _I love you sister. Forgive me._ Rayne leaps at Lexa and hammers her daggers towards her. Lexa dodges her attacks, but needs to move backward out of the tent.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke shouts and pushes you aside to run after them.

 

“Oh fuck my life.” You run after her.

 

“Like… really. What the hell.” Raven mumbles. “Deimos.”

 

You are faster than Clarke and catch up to her just outside the tent; Lexa and Rayne are fighting so fast you are barely able to make out the movements. The air is filled with the clashing sound of meeting blades.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke shouts. You hold her back.

 

“Clarke, she is angry. Let Rayne wear her out.” You try to talk sense into your friend.

 

Clarke turns and looks at you. “Wear her out? They are fighting, Octavia!”

 

You throw your hands in the air. “Oh no, really?!” You roll your eyes. “They are warriors, Clarke. Sometimes you need to get rid of your energy and Rayne is doing exactly that.” You see Clarke furrow. “Lexa sat still the whole fucking winter because Rayne was injured and now an Azgeda princess shows up in her village? You remember that Lexa fought two wars with them and lost more people to them than the Ark ever had?”

 

Clarke relaxes. “You are right, Octavia. I am sorry.”

 

You shake your head and jerk up when you feel a hand on your shoulder. Raven is beside you, mounted on Deimos. “I am impressed, O.” She smiles at you.

 

You furrow. “You knew it all along, didn’t you?”

 

Raven nods. “Rayne told me what she suspected. Lexa has a lot of bottled up anger.” She turns her view towards the woman she loves and her twin sister. “Lexa can now face this and get it over with. They will be okay.”

 

You see Raven wincing and turn to look at Lexa and Rayne; they stilled. Lexa has a cut on her upper arm, as well as Rayne.

 

“Yu ste odon nau, ai sis?” _Are you done now, my sister?_

 

Lexa takes a step forward. She is shaking. Rayne sheathes her daggers and closes the distance. She wraps her arms around her sister and holds her close.

 

“Clarke, beja.” _Clarke, please._ Rayne calls for the blonde beside you and she walks over. “Hod daun em. Em gaf yu in.” _Take care of her. She needs you._

 

“Your arm?” Clarke asks while she lays her hands around Lexa.

 

Rayne shakes her head and strokes her fingers over Clarke’s cheek before she places a kiss on Lexa’s head. “Ai ste os.” _I am fine._ “Phobos, shil em op.” _Phobos, protect them._ The black wolfs trots to Lexa and Clarke and doesn’t move from their side on their way to their tent.

 

Rayne approaches you, nods smiling, and embraces Raven. “Moba, ai hodnes.” _Forgive me, my love._

 

Raven places kisses over her neck and shoulder before she leans over to look at the cut on her arm. “We need to take care of that.”

 

Rayne wraps her arms around Raven’s waist and lifts her off Deimos, just to keep her pressed against her. She looks at you. “Shil op Fae, Octavia. Sis op Deimos.” _Protect Fae, Octavia. Take Deimos._ You nod.

 

You can do that. You are sure it will be an unexpectedly uneventful and calm night to stay and watch over an Azgeda royalty and an absurdly big ice teddy compared to this madness. And again; you have been sassier than that. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._ You tilt your head towards Deimos and turn smiling. “Come on puppy, we have a long night ahead.”

 

Deimos follows you and you hear Raven giggling. You do not dare to turn around; those two are so in love it is nearly painful. You look forward to a night without hearing the two of them.

 

No really, you love Raven. You love Rayne. But at some point it is getting… difficult. You look up into the sky; you smile. You are happy beyond belief for both of them.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You enter the tent; Phobos stays outside to guard the entry. Lexa has her face buried in your neck. You walk towards the furs and grab a bowl of water on your way there.

 

Lexa sits down with you, her face still buried in your neck. When you start washing her wound, she rests her face on your chest. You kiss her head and start to stich it. The cut is clean and shallow; it will heal fast and the scar will be minor.

 

When you are finished with wrapping it up, you toss your stuff aside and lay your arms around her. You start to undo her armor, until she is covered only in her undergarment. You lay down with her and hold her tightly.

 

She’s been still for what seems like hours. You have just held her, gently rubbing her arms and whispering your love into her ear. You know Lexa. You know she will talk when she is ready. You just have to be patient.

 

Your eyes are heavy and you are nearly sleeping, surrounded by her warmth, when she speaks. “I am what I have needed to be for my people, in any way I could. In doing so, I was unable to do anything to avenge her.”

 

You don’t have to ask, you know she is speaking of Costia, and you hold her tighter in your arms.

 

“I felt so lost Clarke. So alone.” You feel her body tense and continue your gentle caress of her arms and press a kiss to her head. “Rayne was the only one that could really understand and at the time, I thought I had even lost her.”

 

She snorts a laugh through a sniffle and your heart clenches. You’ve never seen Lexa cry. She turns in your arms and you see tears streaking down her cheeks as she looks at you. “Until she came back without her horse, but with two giant wolves at her side.” She gives you a sad smile.

 

You cup her cheek and gently brush away the tears with your thumb and are surprised again, when she nuzzles into your palm and closes her eyes. You want to say something, but nothing would sound right. So again, you wait, offering her the only thing you can: your comfort and your love.

 

“As Heda, the politics of my position kept me from mourning.” She opens her eyes and finds yours. “It kept me from acting as I would have. As any other would have.”

 

You understand now. She never got to fully grieve. To have the release others achieve in a mourning period. She hardened herself. Stopped herself from feeling. You recall the words she once spoke to you. It feels like forever ago when she said love was weakness.

 

She’s looking at you. She’s the one waiting now. You know what she needs, and you know she’s terrified of it. “Lexa.” Your whisper is soft and it is only her name you speak, but it seems to be enough as she buries her face into your neck and clings to you as sobs wrack her body.

 

You do everything you can. You hold her, rub her back, and whisper to her that she’s safe. You tell her you’re here. You tell her it is okay.

 

You tell her you love her.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Raven*****

 

Rayne lays perfectly still; you know she is not sleeping. You scoot a little closer, place your head on her chest and draw lazy circles on her healing wounds. “You know you can talk to me?”

 

She smiles and tilts her head to kiss you. “I am worried.”

 

You rest your head on your chin and look at her. “You know your sister like no one else, Rayne. All she needs is time to mourn and get over her bottled up grief. She never had time to do so.”

 

Rayne pulls you closer. “I hurt her.” You don’t ask; you caress her skin with your fingertips. “I stayed three nights and days with her after we found Costia. She was so lost, Raven. I have never seen her so devastated.”

 

You kiss a tear off her cheek. “I left after that to avenge her. I was reckless and lost for weeks.” She takes a deep breath. “Her heart was broken already; my disappearance shattered it completely.”

 

She places a kiss on your head. “When I came back after weeks with Phobos and Deimos, both still puppies, it was the first time that Lexa showed affection in public. I walked towards Polis and the guards called for her; she ran me over in front of the gate.” She smiles. “We both cried.”

 

You stretch and kiss her neck; she leans her head on yours. “Out of… obvious reasons we agreed when we were still very young, that she will deal with the politics and I will take care of the people. She always protected me. I feel like I failed to do the same for her.”

 

You lean up, cup her cheek and look into her eyes. “Lexa loves you. She needs you. You are the best sister anyone could possibly have.”

 

She smiles at you and pulls you closer.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You’re lying on your back, leaning into Deimos. You have your hands folded over your chest and your legs crossed, resting on the edge of the table. Sleeping on the floor is quite comfortable if you have a giant wolf you can use as a pillow.

 

It took you a while to adjust to the presence of Anzu. The bear still makes you uncomfortable; more than before since you know that it was him who ripped slashes into Rayne’s side.

 

You don’t sleep. You were ordered to watch over the girl, so you do. You feel honored to be trusted with this task over all the other warriors and Indra.

 

Fae is still fast asleep; she is laying on her belly, her arm dangling down the furs and her fingers buried into Anzu’s pelt. You raise an eyebrow in disbelief when the bear opens his mouth and chews on her fingers; he isn’t hurting her. It seems to be an act of affection.

 

She isn’t that different. You smile lost in thought when Fae suddenly starts coughing. You jump up and hurry over to look if she needs help. You realize Anzu is looking at you with questioning eyes. “It’s okay, teddy. I am only checking up on your mom.” The bear huffs and lays back down.

 

Fae’s chest is rising and falling normally. Maybe she is just thirsty. You lift the fur that covers her and take a look at the stitches on her back. All okay.

 

“Chon yu bilaik?” _Who are you?_

 

You drop the fur and take a step back. “Ai laik Octavia kom Trikru. Moba.” _I am Octavia of the Tree People. Forgive me._ “Ai wich in yu ste os.” _I want to know if you are okay.”_

 

“Mochof, Octavia kom Trikru.” _Thank you, Octavia of the Tree People._ Fae furrows. “You are not born on the ground.”

 

You tilt your head. She speaks English. “I was born in the sky.” Fae coughs again. “I will go and get you some water and something to eat, Fae of the Ice People.” You turn. “Deimos, kamp raun hir.” _Deimos, stay here._

 

When you come back with some water and food, Fae still lays on the furs, stroking Anzu’s nose. You place everything on the table beside her. “May I help you up?”

 

Fae opens her eyes again. “Beja.” _Please._

 

You place your hands under her arms and help her to sit up. She is bare, so you keep your eyes focused on the wall. As soon as she sits upright, you pull a fur up and wrap it around her shoulders so she can cover herself.

 

She giggles. “You are bashful.”

 

You look at her and really don’t know what to say. You have been so much sassier, back in the dark ages. You can barely remember it. “Uhm.” You turn and grab a cup of water and offer it to her. Your mouth opens and closes and not a single word is leaving it.

 

“Moba.” _Sorry._ “I am not familiar with your traditions, Octavia of the Tree People.”

 

You smile. “You can call me Octavia.”

 

She nods. “Octavia.” She takes a few sips of water and you hand her some of the meat. She takes it and looks at you. “I do not eat meat. Would it offend you if I would offer it to Anzu?”

 

You shake your head.

 

“Mochof.” _Thank you._ “Anzu, chek disha au.” _Anzu look at this._ The bear leans up on his front paws and opens his mouth. Fae places the meat on his tongue and when she had her tiny hand pulled back, the bear plops back to the ground and chews.

 

You hand her some fruits and she starts eating. You are amazed by how slowly some people can eat. You would starve with the food in your hand.

 

“Octavia, tell me about the sky.” She looks at you with curious eyes and a smile.

 

You tell her of the Ark and your landing on the ground. You tell her about the mountain. You get a little dragged away, but you only offer her information she can’t use against you. You feel comfortable and you trust her, but you keep in mind at all times that she may still be the enemy.

 

At some point she offers you to sit beside her on the furs. You make yourself comfortable. She asks about the beliefs of the Sky People and you tell her everything about old Greek mythology you know.

 

You don’t dare to move when she leans her head on your shoulder. When she starts to cry you shut up. You lay an arm around her shoulder and sit still. You don’t know what else to do. You have been so much sassier… you need to get used to the fact that you just aren’t sassy anymore.

 

Fae falls asleep shortly before sunrise. You are wide awake.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	19. Fae, Prisa kom Azgeda (Fae, Princess of the Ice Nation)

**Fae, Prisa kom Azgeda** **(Fae, Princess of the Ice Nation)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You wake up with the first light. You kiss all over Clarke’s face and get up. You wash yourself and get dressed in your favorite armor.

 

“Are you okay, Lexa?”

 

You turn and smile at Clarke. “Yes.” You walk towards her and cup her cheeks to kiss her. “Mochof, ai kwin.” _Thank you, my queen._

 

“Ai sis?” _My sister?_

 

You close your eyes and smile wider. “Sha. Ai ste hir.” _Yes. I am here.”_

 

Rayne enters with Raven and you walk towards her. You embrace her and hold her close. “Mochof.” _Thank you._

 

Rayne places a kiss on your cheek. “Ogeda, otaim.” _Together, always._

 

Raven sits beside Clarke. They both look at you with wide smiles and bright eyes. You feel a warmth in your chest and take a deep breath. “We should talk to our guest.”

 

Rayne tilts her head. ”Yu ste klin?” _Are you sure?_

 

You nod. “She asked for help, I will listen to her and decide how to proceed.”

 

Clarke holds one of your fingers as you walk towards the tent. You feel the warmth of her body and it makes you comfortable and calm. You lift the flap and enter the tent, followed by Clarke, Rayne and Raven.

 

Octavia stands still beside the furs; Anzu is sitting to her left, Deimos to her right. You nod towards her; she did well.

 

Fae is sitting on the edge of the furs. She looks at you with big eyes. She is too skinny and so tiny; she looks weak.

 

You take a few more steps towards her. “Yu get in chon ai laik?” _You know who I am?_

 

Fae nods. She slides off the furs, not without wincing. Clarke starts to move towards her to assist the girl, but Fae raises her hand; Clarke stops beside you.

 

She takes two steps towards you and halts just before your personal space. “Yu laik Heda Lexa kom Trikru.” _You are Commander Lexa of the Tree People._ She bows. “Heda, beja teik in ai moba hashta ai nomon dula op yu.” _Please accept my apology for my mother’s acts towards you._ “Ai nou laik ai nomon.” _I am not my mother._ Fae holds her hand out.

 

You stay still for a few seconds. You feel Clarke taking a step towards you. You take a deep breath.

 

You lay your hand into Fae’s. “Ai teik in yu moba.” _I accept your apology._

 

Fay touches the back of your hand with her forehead. “Mochof, Heda.” _Thank you, Commander._

 

She takes a step back and addresses your sister. “Heda Rayne kom Trikru.” _Commander Rayne of the Tree People._ “Beja teik in ai moba hashta Anzu led op yu.” _Please accept my apology for the injuries Anzu caused you.”_ She offers her hand to Rayne.

 

Your sister closes the distance and lays her hand into hers; she repeats the gesture of respect. “Ai teik in yu moba, Fae, Prisa kom Azgeda.” _I accept your apology, Fae, princess of the Ice People._

 

Fae looks at Clarke and Raven. She furrows slightly before she stands tall again and bows. “Houmon kom Heda Lexa, houmon kom Heda Rayne, beja teik in ai moba hashta emon niron laudnes kos ai en ai nomon.” _Wife to Commander Lexa, wife to Commander Rayne, please accept my apology for the pain I and my mother caused your loved ones._

 

“Just don’t do it again or I will kill you myself.” Raven sounds pissed. You turn and look at her with a raised eyebrow. “What?” Raven shrugs. Somehow you are happy that she won’t join the political negotiations.

 

“Let me check your wounds, Fae.” Clarke steps beside her and helps her to sit back down on the furs. She removes the fur and starts to wash the wounds and apply ointment.

 

“You came here to ask for our help.” Your voice is all business.

 

Fae nods. She winces a few times while Clarke is busy tending to her injuries. “Sha.” _Yes._

 

You sit down. “Then tell us what you need.”

 

**Years ago, Azgeda territory**

 

*****Fae*****

 

You heard your mother shouting at her generals; you have no idea what it was about exactly, you only heard that your uncle was near. You did what you always did; you misbehaved.

 

You sneaked out of the house with Anzu and followed the group of warriors to the border of your lands.

 

Over days you learned that they were sent to ambush a group of warriors, which apparently are in company of both Hedas.

 

You have always been a great disappointment to your mother. She called you weak and too soft for leadership at least twice a day. You love her, she is your mother after all, but you never agreed with her.

 

The night your warriors were close to the camp, you killed all of them. You believe in peace and you respect your Hedas for the Komgeda kom tua kru. _Alliance of the twelve clans._ Your people have suffered under the ruthless reign of your mother and the wars she had caused too long. You would not allow this madness.

 

After you got rid of the warriors, you were close to head back home. Something urged you to move on and look for your uncle.

 

When you approached the camp you witnessed Kahn killing the five warriors as well as the horses. As soon as he was done, your mother’s ice bears approached and started to tear apart the bodies.

 

You felt the tears streaming down your face. You sent Anzu off to kill him.

 

It was then when the Hedas returned; they fought off your mother’s bears and faced Anzu. You knew that they would kill him, so you whistled and Anzu came back to you. You had no chance to warn them.

 

When you came back home, devastated, you faced your mother. She was in rage. She locked you up for three years.

 

You knew, if you ever wanted to be free again, you would have to pretend. You would have to play along. So you did.

 

You mother started to trust you again and send you off for negotiations with generals of the other clans; she was looking for allies. She sent you to those who benefited the least out of the alliance. They all refused to plot against the Hedas and the alliance.

 

Your mother got more and more angry to a point where she accused you of sabotaging her. You kept Anzu at your side day and night; he saved your life more than once.

 

It was not long ago when you woke up in the middle of the night and your mother stood beside your bed, a dagger raised over her head and her face distorted with anger and disgust. Anzu kept her away from you; you fetched furs and your sword, mounted him and stormed off.

 

You have been on the run since then.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You believe her. You would never admit it, but you believe her. “Can you prove any of this?”

 

Fae shakes her head. “You have no reason to believe me, Heda.” _Commander._ “I do not expect you to.” She looks down onto her hands. ”I have nowhere to go.”

 

You shoot your sister a look. She nods. “You may stay here for now, Fae.” You rise. You need fresh air. “You will not move around alone. Octavia will stay with you.” You look at her. “Don’t misunderstand my forgiveness as weakness, Fae. One wrong step and I will kill you. And you will not be treated differently than others; you will make yourself useful.”

 

She nods. “I understand. Mochof, Heda.” _Thank you, Commander._

 

With that you leave, Clarke by your side. You hear Raven behind you.

 

“Well, that was nice. Are you sure to leave her alone with Octavia? I mean Anzu is a big fucker.”

 

Rayne laughs. “She is sincere. And Anzu is not more or less dangerous than Phobos and Deimos.”

 

“How can you know?”

 

“I just do.” She takes a deep breath. “And she will tell us the other half of the truth when she is ready.”

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You visit Raven in the forge when Fae is so far recovered that she can walk without pain. You haven’t realized until now how tiny she is. Anzu still causes mixed reactions, so you leave him back in the tent.

 

When you approach the forge, Fae hesitates. You look at her and tilt your head. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Raven doesn’t like me. I understand her. I don’t know if it is a good idea to irritate her with my presence.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Raven pops out of thin air behind Fae and she jumps, which causes Raven to laugh. “Everyone deserves a second chance.” She shrugs and pats Fae’s shoulder. “Come in.”

 

You hug Raven and follow her to her workplace. “How is it going with your project?”

 

Raven wiggles her eyebrows. “Actually, I finished it yesterday.” She grabs a cloth and unfolds it; it holds a bracelet that looks similar to the one she wears on her upper arm.

You take a close look; it is beautiful. “Wow, nice job for a mechanic.”

 

Raven punches your shoulder. With force. “Shut up, O.”

 

Fae looks a little confused. “Do you always talk like that?”

 

You and Raven burst into laughter. Raven wipes the tears out of her eyes. “We are family, Fae. We’ve known each other long enough and we have lived through too much to be anything else.” She winks. “You will get used to it.”

 

Fae shakes her head, smiling. “May I observe your work?”

 

Raven looks at her with big eyes. “You may observe my work.” She turns around and rolls her eyes playfully at you. You shrug.

 

Fae is very quiet and barely ever moves; she is really interested. Raven is busy making rings; simple designs of silver and steel.

 

“What are you making them for?” You are lying on your back in the corner, playing with your sword.

 

“For us.” You sit up.

 

“What?”

 

Raven laughs. “I am making them for us; two for Lexa and Rayne, two for Clarke and me, one for you, dork.”

 

You jump up and walk over. “What do they look like?”

 

“At the moment like shit, but they will look like that.” Raven shows you a sketch.

 

“Nice.” You take the sketch. “And the only difference will be the color of the gems?”

 

“Yes. I match the gems with our eye colors.” She tilts her head. “Which means both of us will get Tiger’s eyes. Clarke a Sapphire, Lexa an Emerald and Rayne an Onyx.”

 

“You could use a black diamond instead of an Onyx.”

 

You both look at Fae. She looks surprised. “Forgive me, did I say something wrong?”

 

Raven shakes her head. “No, but where the hell are we supposed to find a black diamond? I am lucky to have Lexa providing the other gems.”

 

Fae pulls up her sleeve and removes a filigree chain from her wrist. She offers it to Raven. “I have one.” Raven looks at the little diamond dangling from the bracelet. “I would be honored if you would accept this for your work.”

 

Raven looks at the tiny girl. “Won’t you miss it?” Fae shakes her head. “Well, thank you then.”

 

You stand up and walk towards Fae. “I’m hungry. Let’s go and get something to eat. Join us, Raven?”

 

“You are always hungry, O. And thanks, but no thanks, I will head to the hot springs later with Deimos.”

 

You tilt your head. “Where are Lexa and Rayne?”

 

“Officially on a hunt.” Raven rolls her eyes. “I say they took a ‘sister timeout’.”

 

“Kudos for that.” You look over to Deimos. “Why didn’t she take the boys?”

 

“Lexa and Rayne decided that they want them to stay with me and Clarke.” Raven shrugs.

 

You roll your eyes and hug your friend. “See you later Raven.”

 

Fae stands up and bows. “Thank you for your time, Raven. I enjoyed it.” With that the tiny girl turns and walks out of the forge.

 

You look after her. Raven says what you think and shakes her head. “She is cute, but a little creepy.”

 

You shrug. “Cute beats creepy.” You run after Fae, Raven’s laugh booming through the village.

 

**Today, forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

It has been years since you last took off alone with your sister. You rub Shak’s neck and enjoy the silence of the forest. Rayne rides beside you on Mars; she does the same. You laugh.

 

“Chit?” _What?_ Rayne looks over to you and sees the same thing you saw. She joins your laugh.

 

“Osir ste won.” _We are one._

 

You spend the whole day riding through the forest without really heading towards a certain destination. When the sun sets, you leave Shak and Mars to rest on a little meadow by a small lake and head out by foot to hunt.

 

There are a lot of deer, but you leave them be. They provide more meat than you could eat. You only take of nature what you need to survive.

 

Later that night, when you finished what’s left of the two birds, Rayne lays down beside you and places her head in your lap. You trace patterns over her forehead.

  
“I am tired, Lexa.” She closes her eyes. “I miss being out in the forest with you and being able to just _be_.”

 

You lean back on one arm. “Me too, Rayne.” You take one of her hands in yours. “But what choice do we have? We are what we are.”

 

Rayne sighs and squeezes your hand. “The alliance is stable, Lexa.” She looks at you again. “You managed to get thirteen clans to live together in peace, and the peace is stable.”

 

You tilt your head. “Do you really think there will be a time where no Heda is needed?”

 

She smiles. “People will always need the knowledge and security of having a Heda. But there may be a time where we don’t have to fight wars anymore.”

 

You tilt your head and look up into the sky. “We deal with whatever it is that’s going on with Fae and the Azgeda. If it stays peaceful, we could call a council for negotiations and the meetings.”

 

“We?” Rayne grimaces and you roll your eyes.

 

“I could call a council… so we could settle and live and only appear if necessary.”

 

She sits up and places herself between your legs and starts to undo her braids. “Where would you like us to live?”

 

You brush her hair straight with your fingers. “Definitely around the forest.” You take in your surroundings. “And close to my sister.”

 

Rayne hands you the half of her apple. “As if you would ever be able to get rid of me.”

 

You laugh. You start to take parts of her hair aside to braid it. “Rayne, what is Fae hiding?”

 

Your sister shrugs. “I am not sure.” She sighs. “We will find out soon enough.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	20. Ste yuj en gon raun (Stay strong and fight)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe PTSD and/or temporary mental disorders and/or depression and/or self-destructive behavior caused by grief.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Ste yuj en gon raun (Stay strong and fight)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You sit beside the fire and eat. You still can’t understand why everyone looks at you like you are crazy. Yes, you have a certain speed in shoving food down your throat. But hey, you spent most of your life hidden under a floor in the Ark eating shit that looked and tasted like paper.

 

Fae nibbles at her berries and you wonder how this girl is still alive and able to movie. You would literally starve to death while chewing on those five pebbles. On the other hand it explains why she is so skinny and tiny and pale.

 

You are so lost in thought you choke on a piece of wild boar. You hate wild boars; annoying to hunt and annoying to take down and even dead and grilled they try to kill you. Fuckers.

 

Fae laughs at you. It’s the first time you really hear her laughing and it takes you so off guard, you choke harder. Fae jumps up and pats your back. Well, you guess she is patting your back, you can’t really feel something. Hell, that girl is so tiny. She needs to eat more.

 

“Octavia.” You turn and nearly choke again when you see Indra’s pissed off face. She huffs. “We need to fill the storage. All hunters are supposed to go out and bring back meat for a week.” She tilts her head. “Marik broke his leg; can you take over his part?”

 

You nod.

 

Indra looks at Fae. “Do you wish me to look after her until you return?”

 

You swallow your food and rise. “Heda wanted me to look after her and she wanted her to make herself useful. She will accompany me.”

 

You swear you see a smile on Indra’s face. “Very well.” She nods, turns and leaves. You look after her with a strange feeling in your gut. You shrug. You tell yourself that it’s just the wild boar.

 

“Octavia?”

 

You turn and look at Fae. “What?”

 

She takes a deep breath while she plays with her berries. “I am not comfortable killing animals.”

 

You cover your face with your hand. What the hell did you get yourself into this time? “You don’t have to; I will take care of that. Okay?”

 

When you head out of the village to hunt, you are not sure if to cry or to laugh. Fae can’t ride. At least not horses. She sits on Anzu and looks at you smiling like a five year old.

 

You clear your throat. “I am not sure if Anzu will scare the prey away.”

 

She pouts. You swoon. “He will not. He is a good boy.” She pats his head. You ride deeper into the forest, closer to a river; it’s a good spot to hunt bigger prey like deer. You miss Deimos; hunting with him was always easy. If you are honest with yourself, he always did your job while you relaxed under a tree. But hey, no witness no judge.

 

You are a Trikru warrior and second to Heda Rayne, you can do that. You do not need an absurdly big wolf to do your job. At least you hope so.

 

The sun is already setting. You haven’t even spotted a squirrel. Fae still looks content. You’re resting beside the river.

 

“Octavia?”

 

“Mh?”

 

“Something is wrong.”

 

You furrow and take in your surroundings. There is absolute silence. Like literally absolute silence. You do not even hear a bird. Something is wrong.

 

“Down!” You hear Fae screaming before she leaps at you and the both of you fall into the river. You saw an arrow flying past your face; it was not more than an inch away. The water is bitter cold and the flow drags you away from the shore.

 

You feel your lungs filling with water. You have no idea if you are swimming up or down; you feel yourself losing consciousness.

 

**Today, forest near Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You had a relaxing day and enjoy the sun going down and coloring the sky in the most beautiful colors. Rayne sits behind you and braids you hair. You are completely content, but you miss Clarke.

 

“Ai sis.” _My sister._

 

You furrow. Rayne is whispering. She doesn’t stop braiding. “Sha?” _Yes?_

 

“Sen.” _Listen._

 

You close your eyes and concentrate. You hear nothing. Absolutely _nothing_. You pull your knees to your chin, and with it your sword. “Weron?” _Where?_

 

“Ai nou get in.” _I don’t know._ “Em ste os.” _They are good._

 

If Rayne doesn’t notice them, they are sitting against the wind, so you need to run south. “Yu swis?” _Your daggers?_ You feel a light tuck at your finished braid. She is armed and ready.

 

You jump up and run towards the trees; Rayne is beside you. You do not see the arrows but you hear them. You count five before Shak is by your side and you mount him without breaking your stride.

 

Rayne is on Mars shortly after you; you do not talk. You both know where you are heading. Back to Ton DC, back to Clarke and Raven.

 

**Today, village of the Ark**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You’re sitting outside the main hut enjoying dinner. Your mother is relaxed; your relationship has eased up a lot.

 

There are only 136 survivors. Abby has lost many people, but the number is stable since they got trained and moved into the new village.

 

You are glad your people can look after themselves now. It is rare Abby sends a messenger to ask for help.

 

Abby swallows and takes a sip of water. “So you and Lexa?”

 

She doesn’t look at you. Good for you, you couldn’t have suppressed the eye roll. “Yes, Mom. Me and Lexa.”

 

“Is she good to you?”

 

You sigh. “Yes. She is wonderful.” You look at her. “I love her, she loves me.”

 

“Are you glad to be a member of the Trikru? Don’t you miss us?”

 

“I belong with them, Mom.” You play around with an apple. “I am happier than I ever thought I could be.” You look up to the sky. The sun is setting.

 

“It got late. You should go home. Are you sure you don’t want a horse?” Abby’s voice is motherly. You begin to get used to it again.

 

You smile at her. “No, I am fine with Phobos.”

 

“I still can’t believe you are riding on a wolf that big. I would die.”

 

You laugh. “Believe me, there is no place safer than on his back. Right Phobos?” You lay your hand on his head and pet his ear. The wolf hasn’t left your side since Lexa and Rayne took off for a few days. You had a little argument with the two of them for leaving the wolves and Octavia behind. You are not comfortable with the fact that they are without guards.

 

You rise and walk over to hug your mom. “I will visit again next week. Okay?”

 

Abby hugs you and kisses your head. “Okay. Tell Lexa I said hi.” You lean back and look at her. She really tries.

 

“Okay. Good night!”

 

“Be safe Clarke!”

 

You mount Phobos and bury your fingers deep into his pelt. He starts trotting and keeps his speed low until you get used to the movements. When you relax, he speeds up. It is much harder to hold yourself on a wolf than on a horse. Uncomfortably more difficult.

  
“Phobos, slow down.” The wolf speeds up again. You lay flat on his back and cling to him. The wind is cold and hurts on your skin. “Phobos, slow down, please!”

 

You hear him wincing and you feel him stumbling. You slide your head to the side and see an arrow stuck in his side. Your eyes grow wide. Phobos speeds up again. You do not ask him to slow down anymore.

 

**Today, hot springs near Ton DC**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You enjoy the hot water. It relaxes your muscles and eases the pain. Usually Rayne gives you a massage every day, but with her on a camping trip with Lexa, the hot springs have to do the job. You visit the springs once a week with Rayne and you love the ride back home in the middle of the night. Visiting the springs always takes you half a day and night.

 

You close your eyes and enjoy the steam. Or you would, if Deimos would stop nudging you. “Buddy, what’s your problem?” You sit up and look at him. Your eyes grow wide.

 

Deimos is crouching, his eyes wide open and dark. The pelt on his neck stands up straight. “Okay, buddy, keep calm.” You get out of the water and throw over a shirt and trousers. When you want to grab your boots, Deimos runs you over.

 

You roll over the ground, slightly downhill. When you come to a halt you look up the hill. Deimos is killing someone. “Holy fuck.” You stumble onto your feet and try to get to the trees behind you. You are okay with walking, but you are still far from running.

 

Shortly before you reach the trees, you hear a snarl behind you. You still and turn. Deimos is covered in blood and showing his fangs. He runs towards you and slows down slightly. You grab the pelt at his neck and pull yourself onto his back; he doesn’t halt.

 

**Today, forest close to Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You feel a pain on your arm; it is sharp enough to get you back to consciousness. Your body feels numb; you can’t get a hold on where you are or what is happening. You are being dragged out of water. You feel a hot and panting breath on your face. You flutter your eyes open and see Anzu. He has your arm in his fangs; that explains the pain.

 

The bear drops you and you don’t care; you are just okay with lying here and the pain in your arm finally fading. You want all the pain to fade. You are so tired.

  
“Octavia? Octavia!”

 

Hey, that’s your name. Someone calls for you. You like being called by your name. You lived hidden away for too long. You never admitted it, but it makes you happy if people call you by your name. It makes you feel like you really exist.

 

“Anzu, bak op.” _Anzu, back off._ “Octavia.”

 

Someone touches your face. You feel hands on your cheeks; warm hands. It feels nice. You enjoy being touched; it sounds weird, but after you spent most of your life, more or less, locked up under the floor of the Ark and in the Sky Box alone, you really enjoy every touch you can get.

 

“Breathe, please. Breathe!”

 

You feel arms being wrapped around you, turning you over. It feels like being held. You love that. Your most favorite nights have always been the ones where Lincoln had held you all night long. You miss it; you miss it so much. But you can’t show weakness. Love is weakness. You are not weak. You finally have a name and a purpose. You finally exist. You count. You are able to make a difference.

 

You never had something like that. The ground gave you all of it; a name, a purpose, a family, a lover.

 

The ground gives and takes. You lost Lincoln in the mountain. You swallowed it. You’ve never let it out again. You feel the pain and sorrow every night when you are alone. That’s why you always volunteer for night watches and extra duty. You keep yourself busy. You keep yourself working. But you’re tired. You’re sick of it. You want to sleep. You give in to the darkness.

 

“Octavia, they need you. Breathe, please.”

 

They? Who needs you? Rayne and Lexa? No. They love you, but they don’t need you. Not good enough. You don’t want to hear or feel anything. You slip further into the nothing.

 

“Clarke needs you, Raven needs you.”

 

They are happy with Lexa and Rayne. They love you and you love them, but they do not need you. They keep you around. Still not good enough.

 

“Octavia, come back. Don’t go. Please. Come back to me.”

 

Back to you? Who are you? Do I know you?

 

You feel lips pressed against yours. You want to stiffen, but you can’t. Your body doesn’t react. You can’t move. You can’t sleep; you want to sleep. You want to fall asleep and forget all the pain and sorrow. You want to never wake up again. You are so sick of losing everything.

 

You feel a tearing pain in your chest. Someone pushes air into your lungs. It hurts; it hurts so much. Please stop, just let me go. Please.

 

“Octavia you will not leave me. You will stay with me, am I understood?!”

 

Sha. _Yes._ But how?

 

You feel lips on yours again. This time you are prepared for the pain in your lungs. Your body cramps. You feel water pumping out of your nose and throat. You breathe in. It hurts even more. Why does it have to be so painful?

 

Between your coughs and screams you feel someone holding your side. You concentrate on that.

 

Yes, life is pain. It’s no walk in the sunshine, but you fucking never asked for that. You always wanted to be. You wanted to be able to make your own choices, to have a home and a family, to be free.

 

Yes, you lost a lot in the process and it still hurts. But you _are_. It’s worth all the pain. You will fight with everything you have to _stay_.

 

Whoever attacked you will pay. You will not rest until you made someone bleed to death. No one will take your freedom from you. No one will take your family from you. No one will take your pain from you.

 

You lean up to your arms. You take in deep breaths and open your eyes. “I’m back, bitches.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com
> 
> *hides*


	21. Sheigedakru (Shadow People)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.  
> We mention/describe incest, slavery and violence towards women and infants.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Sheigedakru (Night People)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Shak rushes past the gates of Ton DC and towards your tent with Mars and Rayne right behind you; you slide off his back and run inside. “Clarke.”

 

You run towards her and fall to your knees in front of her. “Clarke, are you harmed?”

 

Clarke cups your cheeks and slides off the furs onto your lap and holds you close. She shakes her head. “Lexa.” She starts to roam your body. She is looking for wounds.

 

“I am well, Clarke.” You lay your hand on the back of her head and press her against you. “I will never leave your side again.”

 

Clarke buries her face in your neck. “Lexa… Phobos.”

 

You look on the furs and see the form of a giant black wolf lying there. You feel your heart stop beating.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You follow Lexa into her tent. You see Raven sitting in the corner on the ground, curled up into Deimos. You run towards her and kneel down. You cup her cheeks. “Ai hodnes.” _My love._ “Yu ste os?” _Are you okay?_

 

Raven shakes her head. Tears are streaming down her cheeks. You scan her body; she is not harmed. You feel realization hit you. Phobos.

 

You turn around and look at Clarke. Her hands are bloody. You see Phobos lying on her furs; he is absolutely still.

 

You rise and walk over. There is a wound in his side. It is stitched and doesn’t bleed anymore. You look at the table beside the furs. You see the tip of an arrow. You take it into your hand and take a close look. You are not familiar with the material. You hold it close and smell at it; the scent is sweet.

 

“Echo!” Your voice is roaring. “Echo!” The warrior comes running inside; she takes in her surroundings and swallows.

 

“Heda?” You offer her the tip. She takes it and smells at it. Her eyes grow wide. “Sha, Heda.”

Echo leaves the room. If someone can provide an antidote for whatever poison the tip is covered with, it’s Echo.

 

She comes back in a minute with a bag. She mixes several herbs and fluids. She applies the paste to Phobos’ wound and holds out a bowl to you. “He needs to drink it.”

 

You take the bowl. Raven and Deimos, as well as your sister and Clarke are standing behind you. You place your hand on Phobos’ nose and stroke over his face one time. You shove your hand under his head and lift it up.

 

Raven is beside you; she lifts his lips and opens his mouth. You let the fluid drip into his mouth and move his head and throat slowly to make sure he swallows it.

 

“Mochof, Echo.” _Thank you, Echo._

 

The warrior bows. “Do you wish me to prepare more of it?”

 

Lexa answers. “Yes. Take ten warriors and everything else you need to provide as much antidote as possible.” Lexa lays her hand on your shoulder. “Whoever attacked us prepared this well.”

 

“Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

 

When Echo leaves, you place your hand on top of Lexa’s. “Thank you, Lex.” You turn and face Clarke. “And I thank you, Clarke.”

 

She cries. “I am so sorry, Rayne. I don’t know if he…”

 

You raise your hand and shake your head. “He did what he had to do. He protected you.” Raven presses herself against you and you lay an arm around her.

 

“Rayne, we should stay together.” You look at your sister and nod.

 

“Where is Octavia?” Raven sobs and Clarke shakes her head.

 

“Indra asked her to head out with the hunters. She took Fae with her. She hasn’t returned.”

 

**Today, forest close to Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You do not talk when Fae helps you to get up. Buddy is standing beside you, his head low as if he needed to look into your eyes. You place your hand on his face. “I’m good, Buddy.” He nudges your neck. “Let’s go back home, eat something and then head out to kick some asses.”

 

The steed steps forward and kneels down; you climb on his back and you are very well aware that you simply suck right now. You feel Fae pushing you up. You still don’t talk; at least not with her.

 

When you sit securely, Buddy rises. Fae turns and mounts Anzu. You head back to Ton DC in an average pace; you do not feel ready to keep yourself up if Buddy speeds up; and he knows that. He understands you.

 

You trot into Ton DC shortly before sunrise. Indra hurries towards you; which means she walks fast.

  
“Octavia!” When she approaches you, she shoots Fae a look, but focuses back on you. “Yu beda hit Hedas op nau. Em get daun.” _You better meet the Commanders now. They worry._

 

You slide off Buddy and pat him. “Thanks boy.” You kiss his nose and walk towards the tent. Clarke is running towards you. You feel her arms around you and you hug her back. You sob and glide off into the darkness.

 

You open your eyes again and try to find out where the fuck you are. It’s comfy here. Definitely better than the last time you woke up. Clarke is beside you.

  
“Hey O. Stay still, you are safe.” She smiles at you. You blink and look down to her hands; she is busy stitching your arm. Anzu got you good.

 

You close your eyes and try to relax. You hear angry voices.

 

“You endangered not only my wife,” It’s Lexa, “but also my sister’s as well as her second.” She is pissed.

 

“I was afraid.” Fae whispered, close to tears.

 

You sigh. “Heda.” _Commander._

 

Lexa and Rayne are beside you after a few seconds. Lexa takes your hand in hers and Rayne places hers on your forehead. You smile. “She saved my ass.”

 

“I know, Octavia.” Lexa turns towards Fae. “And it is time now to tell us the truth.”

 

Rayne helps you to sit up; Clarke finished your stitches and wrapped the wound. She sits beside you, as well as Raven. You see Phobos lying on the furs next to yours. His brother has his head rested beside him. You swallow.

 

Rayne traces her fingers over your forehead. It feels great. She faces Fae. “Ron osir ridiyo op.” _Tell us the truth._

 

Fae sits in the corner on the ground, her head resting on her knees. Anzu lays beside her; it’s a ridiculous picture. “I told you that Anzu saved my life the night I fled my land?”

 

She looks towards you, you nod. She takes a deep breath. “He killed my mother that night.” You feel Lexa stiffen. “Kwin Nia kom Azgeda ste daun.” _Queen Nia of the Ice People is dead._

 

**A few months ago, Azgeda territory**

 

*****Fae*****

 

It was a cold morning after a storm when they appeared in your capital. There were nearly three hundred of them. Your people called them Wuskripa. _Demons._

 

All of them were male; you hadn’t seen a single woman or child. Your mother granted them unlimited access to your supplies as well as homes. They stayed. Many of your people left.

 

You tried to ask your mother who they were, but she just grinned. “None of your business, Fae.”

 

Your mother was a loving and sweet woman once; she loved you dearly. She was always with you, always kind. But everyone has a breaking point. Your mother, Queen Nia of the Ice People, broke the day her husband died.

 

You remember the night your mother kneeled on the floor before the throne of your father, crying bitter tears. It was the day the first war ended; the king was dead.

 

Your mother swore revenge on the Heda. It was the day she lost her mind. It was the day her eyes lost their light. It was the day your mother died and the Ice Queen was born.

 

You were sure that those warriors would bring about no good; your mother wouldn’t answer your questions, so you approached the warriors yourself behind her back. You befriended a younger warrior named Krim.

 

It took you only days to get him to a point where he told you everything about the Sheigedakru. _Night People._

 

Always led by a woman and a man of the same bloodline, they live hidden from the rest of the world. After the bombs they built their own society separate from the other clans.

 

You asked him about the lack of female warriors and children; you still taste the bile in your mouth his answer caused.

 

They are stronger, bigger, and faster. They practice a very strict birth control; every baby born is measured, weighed and killed if too small or too weak.

 

Only a hand full of women are allowed to give birth to children; and those chosen to do so, do nothing else until they die. Krim said ‘it keeps the blood strong’.

 

What you understood too late was the fact that not only the ‘mothers’ were chosen and selected. The fathers were as well.

 

You wondered why they were all so welcoming to let you in and answer your questions. The answer was simple; you are a woman they were allowed to take to bed.

 

The people were numbed to screams already; you gave up. You left the next morning with a bloody dagger in your hand.

 

It was on your way back you realized the terror in the eyes of your people. It was that morning you realized that there are as good as no children or women around anymore.

 

Your mother opened the gates of your capitol to monsters.

 

You faced her that afternoon; she laughed. The following night Anzu killed her. You fled the capitol, but stayed close. You waited for a word of your mother’s death; you realized too late that no one would ever get notice.

 

The Sheigedakru took over the Azgeda territory without anyone noticing. The world was still in belief that Nia reigned over her people.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You feel the tension in the tent. You stand up and walk over to Fae. You sit down beside her, your hands resting in your lap.

 

It takes her a few seconds. She sobs and leans into you. You lift your arm and lay it around her shoulder.

 

“The general Heda Rayne killed in Polis was corrupted by the Sheigedakru, as every other Azgeda warrior. My people are hostages.” Fae pulls a little blade out of her boot. She throws it without grace on the floor in front of Lexa and Rayne. She sobs once more. “This is the blade I stuck into Krim’s heart.” Rayne picks it up, takes a look at it and offers it to her sister.

 

“It is the same strange material the arrow tip is made of.” Lexa’s closes her fingers around the dagger. “So the Sheigedakru attacked us.”

 

Raven grits her teeth. “They attacked all of us at sundown. This was either planned over a long time or they are everywhere.” She sighs. “Both options suck.”

 

Clarke walks over to Lexa and lays her hand on hers. “Lexa, they are murderers and rapists.” She looks over to you and Fae.

 

You tighten your embrace. “Yeah, they are.” You look at Lexa and Rayne. “Kom wor.” _To war._

 

Rayne nods. “Emo gonplei ste odon.” _Their fight is over._

 

“Nou hef kom Sheigedakru na kik thru.” _No man of the Night People will survive._ Lexa walks towards you and kneels down. “Fae.”

 

She lifts her head and looks at Lexa.

 

“You are the legitimate heir of the Azgeda. I understand that you had nothing to do with what happened. I understand that you are in no relation to the acts of the general in Polis or Kahn.”

 

Fae nods only once. “It doesn’t change the fact that I put all of you in danger. They are hunting me and they won’t stop until I am dead.” She lowers her head.

 

Lexa places her hand on Fae’s. “The Sheigedakru are a threat to all of my people, Fae. They dishonor our traditions and principals. I will lead my people to war, Fae. They will all die.”

 

Fae looks into Lexa’s eyes. Lexa rises and offers Fae her hand. “You are the queen of the Azgeda now. Will you honor the alliance of the thirteen clans and fight at my side?”

 

Fae stands up. You see resolve in her movements. She stands tall before Lexa and claps her arm with hers. “Ai badannes ste kamp raun ai Heda.“ _My allegiance is to my Commander_. „Kom wor, Heda. Ogeda.“ _To war, Commander. Together._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	22. Osir ste ogud kom wor… (We are prepared for war…)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.  
> We mention/describe incest, slavery and violence towards women and infants.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.
> 
> Note to you from me (the dork):  
> Work is very stressful right now (all hail shitmas) and my updates will not come as regularly for a few weeks. I'm sorry. *hides*

**Osir ste ogud kom wor… (We are prepared for war…)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You feel like a caged animal. You’re sitting beside Phobos, stroking his head and feeding him honey and a paste of meat. His breathing is ragged and weak. You and Raven barely left his side.

 

Most people would say ‘he is only a wolf’ but he is like a brother to you. You love Phobos and Deimos as you love Mars; they are part of you. You can’t count the fights and wars in which they stayed by your side and all the times they saved your hide.

 

You look at him now and you feel pain and dread. You lean forward, wrap your arms softly around his neck and bury your face in his pelt. It soaks your tears up and silences your sobs.

 

“Nou wan op, bro.” _Don’t die, brother._

 

Your voice is a whisper against his ear. You feel Raven sitting down beside you and leaning into you. Deimos nudges your side softly with his nose; his whimpers cover yours.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You sent messengers to the clans and called for a meeting in Polis. You have a weeks’ time to travel there. Rayne agreed to come with Raven.

 

You know she won’t go anywhere as long as Phobos is fighting for his life. You stop in your steps and shake your head at the thought of losing Phobos. It would hurt you; it would devastate your sister.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke lays her hand on your shoulder. “Are you alright? You look pale.”

 

You cover her hand with yours. “I am fine. I just fear for Phobos.” Clarke lowers her eyes; you wrap your arms around her and pull her close before her tears start falling. “It was not your fault, Clarke.”

 

“She didn’t speak for days.”

 

You place a kiss on her neck. “She never was one for many words, Clarke. She fears for her friend; let us just give her time.” You take a deep breath. “He will make it.” You don’t say ‘he has to’ out loud.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Fae’s voice is soft and full of worry.

 

You grab the deer’s legs and secure your stance. “He likes deer. He will recover sooner if he has his favorite meal.” You bend down and prepare.

 

“Octavia, please be careful.”

 

You roll your eyes and laugh at yourself. You never rolled your eyes. You adapted that from Rayne.

 

“What is so funny?”

 

You clear your throat. “Nothing, Fae.” You pull the deer up and lay it over your neck and shoulders. Holy fuck, that little thing is heavy. You stumble a little and Fae jumps to your side. You start laughing. As if that tiny girl would be able to catch you.

 

“What is so funny now?” She pouts. You laugh harder and start walking. “You, shorty.”

 

You hear her taking a deep breath to prepare her usual ‘you can’t speak to me in that tone, Octavia’ speech, but hence the heavy deer over your shoulders and the urge to get it to Phobos and off your shoulders again, you walk fast enough to avoid it.

 

You hear her running after you. “Octavia, wait. Can I help you somehow?”

 

You roll your eyes again. “Just don’t make me laugh, Fae. This deer is heavy as fuck.”

 

“I don’t intend to make you laugh, you just always laugh about me.” She drops her head. You still.

 

“Fae. I’m not laughing at you.” You drop the deer and lay your hands on her shoulders. “You are the only one able to make me laugh. I am laughing because of you.” She looks into your eyes and you feel grounded. You can’t find words.

 

She tilts her head. “Are you happy that I am here?”

 

Your eyes widen. You never thought about that. “Yes, I am.”

 

She takes a step closer to you. “Do you want me to stay?”

 

She is so close you can feel her breath on your face. You nod. You are so not capable of forming words right now. Fae nods and steps back. “We should go and offer Phobos the deer.”

 

You clear your throat and grab the deer’s legs again. You lift it up and over your shoulders. It is not that heavy anymore.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Raven*****

 

The times Octavia announced her entry are long gone; she knows when she is welcome to enter and when not. You furrow when you see her carrying a deer into your tent.

 

Deimos trots over to his feeding place and waits patiently. Octavia prepares a paste of meat for Phobos while she is talking to Deimos as if he was a little brother.

 

Fae sits at the table, her eyes on Octavia.

 

You take the scene in for a few minutes and you feel your smile growing wider and wider. Someone is falling head over ass. Fast. With force.

 

Fae evolved since her arrival. Since the warriors are on double patrols due to the attacks, other duties are short staffed. Fae took over the afternoon watch for the children and she is doing great.

 

The little monsters listen to her; they do not get trained but they are taken care of. Lexa is satisfied; Fae fulfils her demand of making herself useful, though she is a political refugee of a rank that would normally do nothing.

 

You are pulled out of your thoughts when Octavia approaches you and Rayne. You rise and make space. Octavia helps Rayne to feed Phobos twice a day. You decide to leave them be for a while.

 

You take Rayne’s face in your hands, tilt her head and kiss her softly. She looks at you and nods. You do not need words. You stroke her cheeks and turn towards Fae.

 

“I will help you with the little monsters today.”

 

Fae rises and opens her mouth to say something, but nothing happens. She closes her mouth, furrows, opens it again. Still nothing. You step beside her. “Resistance is futile. Let’s go.”

 

You sit under a tree and stretch your leg while you are watching Fae sitting in the grass, surrounded by a flock of children. They ask her a lot of questions; mostly about why her eyes have such a special color, why she is so tiny and pale; about her tattoos and of course about Anzu.

 

She answers patiently; you can’t help but to think that Fae being here will teach the children tolerance of others. After a few hours a warrior takes over Fae’s shift with the kids and she sits down beside you.

 

“You’re really good with children.”

 

Fae blushes a little when she looks towards you. “Thank you, Raven. It’s interesting. As different as our clans may be, children are all the same. They want to know and learn. They don’t care about your name or what you look like.”

 

You nod your head. “Yeah. But they can be cruel, though.”

 

Fae looks up into the sky. “Yes, they can.”

 

You clear your throat. “So, what’s going on with you and Octavia?”

 

Fae looks at you with wide eyes. “What?”

 

You smile at her. “It looks a lot like you are falling head over ass for Octavia. I wanted to offer you to speak about it. You both seem to be kind of stuck.”

 

It takes Fae a few minutes. You do not stress her. “I don’t know if she is… interested? I mean she had a man and she lost him during the war with the mountain. I don’t know about how to… act?”

 

This girl is as shy and insecure as she is tiny. It is hilarious. “So you don’t know if Octavia is gay or not? Is that what you mean?”

 

Fae furrows. “What does ‘gay’ mean?”

 

You cover your face with your hand. Of course the grounders evolved in a hundred years enough to not separate humans by sexuality anymore. “Sorry, it’s a leftover term from before the war.” You take a deep breath. “Are you nervous about if she will return your feelings?”

 

“Yes. And I don’t know if it is appropriate. I mean” you never heard that girl speak so fast “she is the second of Heda Rayne and she was with a man she hasn’t lost that long ago. I don’t know how she likes to keep it with her period of mourning or if she is even interested. And even if, we are on the edge of war. I like her a lot, but I have a feeling she just sees me as… someone she was ordered to look after.”

 

While rambling she plucks a flower apart. You cover her hands with one of yours. “Fae.” She looks into your eyes; you see tears. She is adorable. “It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are coming from. Love knows no clans or restrictions. If you want to get close to her, tell her.” You take a deep breath. “I like you Fae, we all do.”

 

A single tear finds her way down Fae’s cheek. You wipe it away with your thumb. “Just please don’t break her heart. She has suffered through too much already.”

 

Fae nods and bites her lip. “I will protect her heart with my life.”

 

You smile at her and she blushes. My god, that girl is adorable.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

The sun is setting when you walk into the tent; you can’t believe your eyes. “Phobos!” You run towards the furs and hug him, eliciting a huff out of the giant black wolf. “You’re awake!” Phobos licks over your face and you shut your eyes closed. He is wiggling his tail. He is happy to see you.

 

“He woke up while we fed him.” Octavia states, rubbing Phobos’ back. Rayne sits beside the furs, cutting little slices of meat.

 

“He was unconscious for nearly two weeks.” You take his face into your hands and look into his eyes and feel his throat and look at his gums. You realize too late that you’re doing a human checkup on a wolf. You sigh and look over to Rayne. “Is he okay?”

 

Rayne looks up to you; she smiles. “Sha.” _Yes._ Rayne grabs a slice of meat and offers it to Phobos, who takes it carefully out of her hand and swallows it whole. He licks his lips and whimpers for more.

 

“He is a lot like you, Octavia.” You cross your arms. “Always hungry and never enough meat.”

 

Octavia punches your shoulder and leans into you and you watch Rayne feeding Phobos. Lexa enters and takes her place beside you, her arm around your waist. She kisses your cheek. “I told you he will be okay.”

 

Lexa waits until Phobos is sated and lays back down, curled up into a giant ball of black fluff before she addresses her sister. “Ai sis.” _My sister._ “Osir souda gon we kom Polis.” _We should leave for Polis._

 

Rayne looks at her sister, shaking her head.

 

Octavia looks at Lexa. “Can we give him a few days to recover?”

 

You place your head on Lexa’s shoulder. She raises an eyebrow at you. “Of course. I didn’t mean to leave now. We will head out as soon as Phobos is well enough for the journey.”

 

You spend the rest of the evening with Rayne; she never leaves Phobos’ side. Raven and Fae arrive shortly after. You wish it could always be this way; you wish you could always be with your family in the safety of Ton DC, sitting by a fire and just laugh and feel at home.

 

Octavia fell asleep on the ground between Anzu and Deimos; she looks very content. Fae is sitting behind her and plays with her hair. You don’t think she is doing it intentionally. You shoot Raven a look and she wiggles her eyebrows.

 

You laugh and you feel in a good and happy and hopeful mood. You should have been prepared. You weren’t.

 

“Heda!” _Commander!_ Indra storms into the tent without announcing her entry. Rayne and Lexa are on their feet with drawn weapons within a second.

 

“Chit, Indra?” _What, Indra?_

 

The general bows, for the fraction of a second a smile on her lips as she sees Phobos raising his head. “You need to come.”

 

Rayne and Lexa follow her out; Rayne turns and raises her hand when you and Raven follow her. “Kamp raun hir.” _Stay here._ “Deimos, Anzu. Shil em op.” _Deimos, Anzu. Protect them._

 

When Fae walks past you and Rayne does not stop her, Raven crosses her arms. “Really, the tiny one is allowed to come?”

 

Rayne tilts her head and takes a step towards Raven, places her fingers under her chin and places a kiss on her lips. “Ai gaf in yu ste klir.” _I need you to be safe._

 

You furrow. “We are strong together, and we are safe when we are strong. We are coming.” You are surprised by the authority in your voice; usually you are not that firm with Rayne.

 

“What’s up?” Octavia rubs her eyes. “Did I miss something?” She rises and walks over.

 

You tilt your chin. “We are going to find out.” You see a smirk on Rayne’s face. Seems she is okay with your decision.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Fae*****

 

You are right behind Lexa and Rayne when they approach the boy a guard holds by his arm. The closer you get, the clearer you see _who_ that boy is. Most of the guards are out for patrols; you feel cold dread running down your spine.

 

“Anzu!” He comes _running_. “Teik Raven en shil em op, bro.” _Take Raven and protect her, brother._ “Octavia, stay back, I beg you.”

 

Octavia nods and draws her sword; Raven, standing beside you, shoots you an angry look. “What is it with you guys?”

 

You look at her, your eyes pleading. “Stay back, please. Trust me.”

 

You do not wait for an answer. You turn and run towards Lexa, Clarke and Rayne.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

It is a boy of young age, you guess around ten to twelve years old. He is skinny and dirty. “Oh my god.” The whisper leaves your lips and you want to step closer to the boy, but Deimos shoves you back. “What is wrong Deimos?” The wolf crouches and growls.

 

Rayne draws her daggers. “Gon we, Clarke.” _Leave, Clarke._

 

Lexa draws her sword and stretches her hand out in front of you. “Clarke, please.”

 

You take a step back, Deimos’ body constantly pressing against you. You turn and look back to the boy. You feel cold dread at the sight of his mischievous grin.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Fae*****

 

You run towards Clarke; you do not hesitate when you jump and shove her out of the way. The little dagger flies past her shoulder only by an inch. You feel Deimos jumping over Clarke and shielding her off with his body; he is snarling.

 

You roll yourself off and jump up in one, flowing movement.

 

Lexa and Rayne are circling the boy. He has a small sword in his one hand, a little dagger in his other.

 

You speed up. “Don’t get too close to him!” The boy takes a step and Lexa barely avoids his blade. “Get away from him!”

 

You leap towards the boy, your sword in your hand. You dropped your fur and your armor on your way; your skin is exposed to the poisoned blades. You needed to get rid of it. Its weight slows you down. You need to be fast.

 

Rayne and Lexa backed off when you land beside the boy, avoiding his attack with a quick movement. You turn and jump backwards. The boy rushes towards you, screaming. You let yourself fall backwards so you land on your shoulders. You push yourself up with your arms and flip backwards, landing on your feet again.

 

You turn with your sword in your left hand, still and do not move.

 

You hear the tock of the boy’s head falling to the ground and the sound of his body falling over. You hear the blood dripping from your blade and the stream of the red liquid leaking out of the stump of his throat, creating a puddle.

 

“Gon we, yo.” _Leave, all of you._ You secure your stance. You hear the stampeding sound of little feet running towards you in the darkness of the forest ahead.

 

You feel Octavia by your side. You take a deep breath. “Ai chich gon we, branwoda!” _I said leave, fool!_ “Gon we ou yu na wan op!” _Leave or you will die!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	23. … ba nou disha (… but not for this)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe incest, slavery, cannibalism and violence towards women and infants.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members to major characters and/or children.  
> We mention/describe PTSD and/or temporary mental disorders and/or depression and/or self-destructive behavior caused by grief.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it... scrap that, just don't read it.

**… ba nou disha (… but not for this)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You see Fae running towards the boy while you are stepping in front of Deimos and Clarke; you really don’t know what is happening. You saw the blade missing Clarke only by inches, the shock still freezes you.

 

You watched Fae dancing her lethal dance. You witnessed her beheading a child, precisely and without hesitation. She isn’t as innocent and weak as you thought.

 

You hear the fear in her voice, as well as the resolve. “Gon we, yo.” _Leave, all of you._

 

Whatever is happening, she knows what you are dealing with. You walk towards Fae, your sword drawn. You crouch beside her. Whatever this is, you will fight with her. Beside her.

 

“Ai chich gon we, branwoda!” _I said leave, fool!_ “Gon we ou yu na wan op!” _Leave or you will die!_

 

You look at her; her words do not hurt you. Yes, maybe you are a fool. Her eyes are filled with worry and fear, as well as love. You shake your head. “I will not leave your side, Fae.”

 

Fae furrows. “I promised to protect you. Leave, Octavia, I beg you.”

 

You shake your head, again. “I will not leave your side.”

 

Fae takes a step towards you and grabs your arm. “Octavia, you were not trained for this. They will kill you. Please, leave.” You try to respond, but she cuts you off. “I can’t lose you. I will return to you, unharmed. Please.”

 

You waiver.

 

Fae steps closer. “I promise you Octavia, I will return to you.”

 

You see a longing in her eyes; she is sincere. You feel a pull in your chest. Your head says ‘ _go’_ , your heart says ‘ _stay’_. You want to grab her, call for Buddy and run, far, and never come back. You feel the last bit of reservation fall; she broke the walls you built. She has a little string around your heart and it is pulling, constantly.

 

You want to grab her and hold her, to kiss her and love her, to comfort her, to keep her warm and safe.

 

You want to get lost in her eyes, her kisses, her arms. You want to fall asleep with her arms around you and to wake up with her body against yours.

 

You want her. You want her so much it makes you dizzy. You admit it, now, and you damn yourself for your shitty timing.

 

You will not distract her. You will not tell her that you love her. You will stay strong. You will lay your heart into her hands until she comes back to you. Unharmed. As she promised.

 

You keep your eyes locked with hers, and you see that she also struggles to not tell you what she feels. Not now, not today.

 

Rayne’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Octavia, gon we en teik Raven en Clarke en shil em op. Nau.” _Octavia. Leave and take Raven and Clarke with you and protect them. Now._ Rayne’s voice is calm and even. You know better than to fight her now.

 

You nod. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._ You look at Fae. “If you die, I will kill you.” You cup her jaw. “You will come back to me, unharmed.” Fae nods. You see joy in her eyes. You see hope in her eyes. You see love in her eyes.

 

You kiss her.

 

It’s a hard kiss, it lasts only a few seconds. It is a kiss without any sign of tenderness, though it’s filled with a longing and a confession. You turn and leave without looking back.

 

You sheathe your sword while you are approaching Raven; you grip her waist and lift her onto Deimos’ back. You take Clarke’s arm and walk towards the tent. “Anzu, come.” You quicken your pace.

 

When you enter the tent, Raven and Clarke move over towards Phobos; Anzu guards the entry, Deimos paces around the walls. You position yourself in the middle, your sword in your hand.

 

Your head says ‘ _stay’_. Your heart says ‘ _go’_.

 

You will do as you were ordered. Your heart _screams_ at you.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

“Ai sen in sis.” _I hear six._ Your voice is low and calculated.

 

Your sister shakes her head. “Eit. Tu ste os.” _Eight. Two are good._

 

“There are too many.” Fae huffs. “Stay away from their blades. The poison is deadly within minutes. Don’t be hesitant because they are children; they are far from innocent.”

 

You look over to Fae and you can’t stop thinking that she herself is not as innocent as she seemed to be. “Who are they?”

 

Fae meets your eyes. Her stare is hard and filled with resolve. “Children which passed the measuring at their birth, but failed the tests. If they fulfill their mission, they will be accepted into the clan again. If not, they stay banished and are considered dead.” Her eyes drop. “They are not allowed to return, if they try without accomplishing their mission, they are hunted, killed and fed to the younger generation.”

 

You swallow and nod. “So they have nothing to lose.” Literally nothing. It is sacred to your people that the spirit is cleansed and released through fire after death; no one would dare to taint a spirit like that, not even a traitor’s.

 

“Sha.” _Yes._ Fae crouches and prepares, so do you and Rayne. The first one of the eight you still have to kill approaches.

 

You hear the dagger flying before you see it. You let yourself fall down to the ground, Fae leaps backwards. Rayne shoots an arrow into the dark of the forest. You hear the tip piercing a chest, you hear a little body falling down onto its knees and to the ground. You do not hear a cry or a whimper.

 

Sen. _Seven._

 

You roll over and throw your dagger into Fae’s direction; she jumps up and avoids your blade with a movement of her hips; it cuts the material of her shirt but does not break her skin. The dagger lands in a little girl’s throat, which was heading towards Fae with a sword raised over her head. The girl’s eyes grow wide, she takes another few steps before she starts to struggle and falls over to finally come to halt.

 

Sis. _Six._

 

Fae runs towards you; you are still sitting on the ground. You let yourself fall onto your back and pull your knees towards your chin. Fae jumps and lands with her feet on yours; you push her up. She turns midair and throws her dagger towards Rayne; your sister rolls backwards out of the way. Fae’s dagger stays stuck in another girl’s head. You hear the bone breaking and the body hitting the ground.

 

Fai. _Five._

 

Fae lands and rolls herself out, pulls the dagger out of the skull of the dead child and leaps forward.

 

You are up, running towards your sister. Rayne points an arrow towards you; you take a sidestep and the arrow flies past you and gets stuck in a boy’s shoulder; he struggles, but keeps running. You hear Rayne cursing; she draws another arrow, aims and shoots. This one hit’s its target. The boy goes down. You don’t know how, but he is still trying to _crawl_. You step beside him, twist your sword and slam it through his neck. His limbs twitch a few times before he finally stills.

 

Fou. _Four._

 

You turn to look where Fae is; she attacks a boy. You see a girl hiding behind his back.

Something about those two is screaming for your attention. You are pulled out of your thought when your sister pulls you to the ground. You turn your sword mid fall and the girl falls into your sword. You turn the blade and tear her heart apart. Blood drops out of the child’s mouth, over Rayne’s shoulder and down your arm.

 

Thri. _Three._

 

Rayne pushes herself up and the dead body of the child drops to the ground. You see a girl jumping towards your sister. She is in the air, her feet pulled to her chest. You roll over and pull Rayne with you. You hear the girl landing behind you, her dagger slamming into the ground.

 

Rayne pulls you over, sits up and draws her daggers; she pushes herself up and leaps backwards. The girl jumps over you; you grab her feet mid jump. The girl lands hard on her belly and Rayne slams her blades through her back.

 

Tu. _Two._

 

You turn and look over to Fae. She is kneeling on the ground, the boy standing over her, the girl still behind his back.

 

“Fae!” You run, your sister by your side. You push off with your left leg, leaping over Fae and land with your knees shoved into the boy’s chest. He falls backwards with you and hits the ground; you feel his ribcage breaking into pieces. Blood spills out of his nose and mouth.

 

Won. _One._

 

Rayne rushes past you; her arms outstretched behind her back. She leaps and lands past the girl, which turns and crouches with a hissing sound. Rayne twirls around, with her first one dodging an attack of the girl. With her second twirl, she slices the girl’s throat and tummy open. You hear the blood and organs dropping to the ground and shortly after a body.

 

Odon. _Done._

 

You feel your breath calming down. You feel the adrenaline fading off, your senses coming back to normal. You killed nine children. _Nine_.

 

You kneel down. Your fingers feel cooling skin without a pulse. You look around; you count the dead bodies of _children_. Rayne kneels down beside you, her hand on your shoulder. Your heart clenches.

 

The words leave your mouths in the same second, with the same sorrow and pain. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over._

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You hear them fighting. You can imagine most of what happens by the sounds you catch. When you hear Lexa screaming her name, you take a step forward.

 

You feel your heart clenching. Your chest feels constricted; you can’t breathe, you can’t think. Your whole life is rushing by and everything becomes blurry. _Fae._

 

Raven is by your side; you see that she is holding your arms. You feel Clarke cupping your cheeks and talking to you. You feel tears running down your face. You do not hear them. You hear nothing over the sound of your heart breaking into a million pieces.

 

You do not hear Clarke’s voice; you do not feel her hands. You do not realize Raven shaking you, calling your name. You hear nothing than the rushing of your memories and Fae’s voice, telling you that she will come back to you. She promised to come back to you.

 

She lied.

 

You feel it. You know it. You do not need to step out of the tent and look at her lifeless body on the ground. You know it.

 

She lied.

 

She sent you away, she locked you away. She did as everyone else. She left you behind, she sent you away. She left you.

 

She lied.

 

You feel your knees going weak; you feel yourself going down. You know that someone screams. You can’t shake the thought that it is you. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters anymore.

 

She lied.

 

You lost everything. You fought hard to get a life and a name. You lost it all. It will always be this way. You will fight, and you will lose anyway.

 

She lied.

 

You still remember how your brother came to visit you in the skybox. He told you that your mother got floated for having you. He told you that she loved you. It was the first time a part of you died along with someone you loved.

 

She lied.

 

The streaming flow of memories of your life brings you to the moment you found Lincoln in the mountain. His body broken, he told you that he loved you. Another part of you died with him.

 

She lied.

 

You see yourself looking into your brother’s eyes while he points a gun at you, telling you to leave. He tells you that he loves you. He died in the mountain while you saved the pathetic rest of the Sky People. And another part of you died.

 

She lied.

 

Your breath hitches. It is painful to breathe in. She never said it. You never said it. You try to stay conscious. You don’t know why. You don’t want to.

 

She lied.

 

Anzu roars out. It is a sound like he is dying. The bear goes down, his breath coming in waves, filled with heartbreaking whimpers.

 

She lied.

 

Your numbness starts to clear up when Lexa and Rayne enter the tent. You see it in their eyes. You don’t want to hear it. You don’t want to feel it. “She is dead.”

 

She lied.

 

Everything goes black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Information for updates:
> 
> I want you to know that I will finish this story - but I may or may not pause the weekly updates until next year. I will be on a three weeks vacation with my wife from next Wednesday on and if we don't want to write during this time, we won't.
> 
> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	24. Reshop os, ai hodnes (Sleep well, my love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of close family members and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.  
> We mention/describe PTSD and/or temporary mental disorders and/or depression and/or self-destructive behavior caused by grief.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Rid op os, ai hodnes (Sleep well, my love)**

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

Octavia fell asleep three days ago. By the time your warriors came back from their patrols, you and Lexa had already wrapped up the bodies. It was a bloody night; one of those you wish you could burn from your memory.

 

You sit beside Octavia’s furs. You’re holding her hand, stroking its back with your thumb. You hear your sister entering the tent and sitting down beside you.

 

“We did the right thing, Rayne.” She lays her hand on your shoulder.

 

You sigh. “I never wanted this for her.”

 

You prepared the pyre for the burning ceremony. It was still cold enough to wait with it, at least for a few days. You hoped Octavia would wake on her own, but she refused. How often can a heart break until it stops beating? You don’t know.

 

You couldn’t live with the thought of the ceremony happening without Octavia, so you decided to wake her up.

 

Lexa hands you a cup. “I will wait with Raven and Clarke at the pyre.” She rises and kisses your forehead. “Ai hod yu in, ai sis.” _I love you, my sister._

 

A sad smile forms on your lips. “En ai hod yu in, ai sis.” _And I love you, my sister._ “Ogeda.” _Always._

 

“Otaim.” _Always._

 

You look after her for a minute before you lay your hand under Octavia’s neck. You lift her head and hold the cup to her lips; you fed her milk and honey over the last days. The brownish liquid runs down her throat and she swallows it.

 

You lay her head back and sit down. You take her hand in yours again and bring its back to your forehead. “Beja, moba Octavia.” _Please, forgive me Octavia._

 

The brunette starts to move, only slightly. You squeeze her hand softly. “Ai ste hir, Octavia.” _I am here, Octavia._

You can see that she is fighting consciousness. She doesn’t want to wake up. You put your other hand on her forehead. “Gon raun, Octavia. Beja.” _Fight, Octavia. Please._

 

The second she opens her eyes, you feel your heart break. She doesn’t speak. She looks at you and you see the war inside her. She doesn’t want to be here. She doesn’t want to feel and see.

 

You assist her with washing and redressing. She knows that the ceremony is today. You do not need to talk; you know she doesn’t want to.

 

When you leave the tent to head for the pyre, Octavia reaches for your hand. You do not flinch as you would normally. You do not pull your hand back as you would normally. You just let her hold onto you. You take deep breaths.

 

You take your place beside your sister and Clarke. Raven stands to Octavia’s other side. Lexa steps towards the pyre. “Raun faya, oso wada klin laudnes de kom fotaim.“ _In fire we cleanse the pain of the past._ She turns to hand the torch to you.

 

You squeeze at Octavia’s hand and walk towards her. Octavia takes the torch and lights the pyre. You see the undried tears in her eyes. She doesn’t move. She stays still until the ten wrapped bodies are wide aflame.

 

When the flames grow too big, you pull her away from the fire. You keep her hand in yours; she still clings to it.

 

You see Raven approaching. She looks at you and you nod.

  
“Octavia.” Your second turns her head a little towards her, but doesn’t look away from the flames. Raven bows her head and grabs Octavia’s hand. She places a cloth in it. “Remember the rings I made for us? They are finished now. I took a closer look at the black diamond and it shimmers in a beautiful violet in the right light.” She sighs. “I used it for Fae’s ring.” A tear finds her way down Raven’s cheek. “She was one of us. I thought you may have not only your ring but also hers.”

 

It’s the first time since she woke up that Octavia moves without you encouraging her. She unfolds the cloth and looks at the two rings in her palm. One with a tiger’s eye, one with a black diamond.

 

She pulls her ring onto her ring finger and looks at Fae’s in her palm. It takes her another few minutes before a heartbreaking scream escapes her throat. You have your arms around her, as Raven does, before her knees touch the ground.

 

**Today, Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You didn’t eat. You didn’t move. You sat here, leaned against Anzu, looking at her ring. You cried a night and a day. You didn’t say a word.

 

Raven was here with you all morning. She sat beside you, her arm touching yours.

 

Clarke and Lexa visited around lunchtime. Clarke sat with you, leaned against you.

 

When Rayne enters and sits down beside you, you try to clear your throat. She hands you a cup of water. You take a few sips. “Heda.” _Commander._

 

She looks at you. “Sha?” _Yes?_

 

“I can’t stay here.”

 

Rayne closes her eyes and lowers her head. “I know, Octavia.” You furrow. “Where do you want to go?”

 

You shrug. “I know I have a home with you, but I have no heart anymore.” You drop your head, the ring in your hand feels heavier. “I need to find it again.”

 

“I will unbind you from your duties and let you go, if you will take Anzu with you. He will guide your way.”

 

You look up and meet Rayne’s eyes; they are soft and filled with understanding. You turn and look over to Anzu. He hasn’t left your side. He lost his heart, just as you did.

 

You nod and you feel tears running down your cheeks. Rayne stretches her arm towards you. You scoot over and lean into her. You cry the whole night. Again.

 

At some point, Raven, Clarke and Lexa joined you. They already know. They understand. It’s the first time in days you feel a little warmth in your chest.

 

**Today, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

The morning you leave, you have nothing else with you other than your sword. Your family packed your saddlebags up with furs and dried meat as well as a few leathers of water. You say your farewells, mount Buddy and leave, Anzu walking beside you. This time you look back.

 

You don’t know why, but you decided to do as Rayne said; you let Anzu guide your way. You have lost yours anyway, maybe you will find something if you follow him.

 

You wander around for days before you realize the forest changing; the trees get darker and thicker, the air tastes different. Anzu leads you along a small river until you arrive at the foot of a little hill.

 

You shrug and follow the bear. The way up is exhausting, you dismount and pet Buddy’s back. You’re comfortable in the company of Buddy and Anzu; you’re still lonely, but at least not alone.

 

When you arrive at the midsection of the mountain, you realize that the river is steaming; you seem to be close to a hot spring. Anzu leads you to a well-hidden entry of a cave. You can’t help yourself but to smile. He led you to the perfect hideaway.

 

You make yourself comfortable in the back section of the cave. You have little pools of steaming water as well as a hole in the ceiling to spend light and lead the smoke of your fire outside.

 

When the sun settles, you lay down on your furs. You fed Anzu the rest of your dried meat and watched Buddy grazing just outside the cave. You turn over and place your hand on your chest. You feel her ring under your harness. You feel tears running down your cheeks.

 

You ask yourself if this will ever stop.

 

After what feels like eternity you close your eyes and drift off to sleep.

 

**Today, road to Polis**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You are on your way to Polis to meet with your army. You have nearly three hundred warriors with you right now; you only took the best with you and left the others back to protect the families and homes.

 

You are marching to war. Within the next two weeks you will, again, fight at the borders of the Azgeda. _Ice Nation._ This time to protect them, to save them. To give them a queen worthy of ruling them in peace.

 

You’re sitting with your sister by the fire; Clarke leans into you, covered under a fur, your arm securely around her. You’re looking up to the sky. “You did the right thing, Rayne.”

 

Your sister looks at you. She smiles and nods, placing a kiss on Raven’s forehead, who is sleeping in her arms. “I know. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel the guilt.”

 

**The night of the attack, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You felt pure dread when you saw Fae kneeling in front of the last two children. You stormed off with your sister and you killed them.

 

You knew that they were not sent to kill you. They were sent to kill Fae. She was the legitimate heir of the Ice Nation and by that a problem for the Shaigedakru. _Night People._

 

As long as she was free and alive, there would be resistance within the people of the Azgeda as well as constant attacks. _Ice People_. As long as there was hope that their princess was alive, her people wouldn’t give up and in to the Shaigedakru. _Night People._ Her death would make the Shaigedakru feel safe and maybe let them get reckless. _Night People._

 

You talked about it with Fae, more than one time. She had a death mark over her head. She knew she would get killed eventually. So what options were there? Getting killed, letting her people give in to despair?

 

The middle way seemed to be the only reasonable one. This was the perfect opportunity and maybe your only chance to take them by surprise.

 

**Today, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You turn around; you’re cold. The fire went out. You are aware that you are freezing, but still a little too sleepy to react. You can’t be bothered. You just want to drift off again.

 

You feel warm arms around you and a fur pulled over you. You scoot closer to the warmth and the arms around you hold you tighter. “Thank you.” You mumble sleepily.

 

You feel your neck being nuzzled and you smile. It tickles. You breathe in and the scent you smell makes you moan. You try to get closer to its origin.

 

You feel soft fingertips on your cheek and neck. You smile a little more. It feels so good. The fingers trail light patterns over your cheek and forehead, down your nose and over your lips. You feel yourself warming up, finally relaxing and drifting off again.

 

A warm breath against your neck makes you breach the surface of sleep. You still can’t be bothered to wake up. You enjoy this too much, you know it’s over the second you allow yourself to wake fully. When you feel lips pressing soft kisses on your neck, you smile and tilt your head. “More please.”

 

You feel a chuckle and smile wider. You feel more kisses. You give in to it. You pull your arms out from under the fur and wrap them around the form beside you. You pull and squeeze until you hear a huff and a soft laugh.

 

Something tucks at your heart.

 

You laugh internally at yourself. Your heart made your life hard and harder. You’re done with that. You decide to shut that useless muscle down and listen to your head and just stay asleep forever. You breathe in, again, and drift off with the scent.

 

You feel hands roaming up your sides and over your shoulders and down your back. There is the warmth of a fire behind you. Wasn’t the fire out? You still can’t be bothered. You don’t want to feel. It only hurts.

 

The tears find their way out of your closed eyes. You feel lips kissing them away and arms wrapped around you tightly. You scoot closer to the source. You feel the sobs wrecking your chest. You hold onto the form beside you. You bury your face deep into the scent and the warmth.

 

You hear soft mumbles. You can’t understand it over the sound of your sobs. You feel a hand stroking hair out of your face and lips kissing, again, tears off your cheeks. You calm down, eventually, a little.

 

There is still this string around your heart. You try to ignore it, but it keeps tucking. “You lied.”

 

“Ai ste hir nau.“ _I am here now_. A kiss on your forehead.

 

You try to keep your eyes closed forcefully. “You left me.”

 

“Ai don komba raun yu.” _I came back to you._

 

“You will leave me again.” You hold onto the form in your arms. You hold on so tightly your arms hurt.

 

“Ai na kamp raun yu otaim, taim yu nou na sen in ai.“ _I will be near you always, even if you can’t see me._

 

The string around your heart pulls. It pulls you towards a light you never dreamed of to see again.

 

You give in. You let go. You fall.

 

“Ai ste hir, Octavia.” _I am here, Octavia._

 

You have no idea for how long you were crying; all you know is that the soft caressing of hands and the tender kisses doesn’t stop for even a second. You cry yourself to the point of exhaustion. Your sobs fade out, making place for shuddering breaths. Your body relaxes.

 

You give in. You let go. You fall.

 

“Ai na nou bants yu.” _I will not leave you._

 

The string around your heart keeps pulling. You feel yourself drifting towards its source. It is gravity, but not the one that keeps you on the earth. It’s the gravity that keeps you alive.

 

“Ai ste houm weron yu kamp raun, Octavia.” _I am home where you are, Octavia._ “Ai na ste hir taim yu rid op nou mou.” _I will be here when you wake up._ “Reshop os, ai hodnes.” _Sleep well, my love._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prepared a little something. *throws it out the bunker*  
> *still hiding and on vacation*  
> *we love you*
> 
> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	25. Flosh klin emo klaka (Shatter their bones)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We're back, bitches!" - quote Octavia Blake

**Flosh klin emo klaka (Shatter their bones)**

 

**Today, border of the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You have never been the patient type.

 

You play with the ring on your finger; your breaths are coming faster. You feel Deimos crouching beside you. The wolf presses his side against yours. He is tense and shaking in anticipation.

 

The warriors surrounding you move, but only slightly. “Hod op.” _Wait._ Your voice is a whisper, but they all still at your command. “Not yet.”

 

Lexa told you about the Sheigedakru and their traditions and you have heard about the child assassins. You saw the madness in the boy’s eyes back in Ton DC. You saw the wrapped bodies that burned along with Fae’s.

 

 _Fae._ You feel anger. You liked her; you started to love her like a sister. She was a tender heart and a bright soul. She was good. She deserved so much more.

 

 _Octavia._ You feel pain. You are so, so sorry. You remember the emptiness in her eyes when she left to find herself again.

 

You grip the hilts of the daggers on your sides. You feel your expression harden. You feel Deimos growling beside you, no sound leaving his throat. “Hod op.” _Wait._

 

You have never been the patient type.

 

War made you patient. You are prepared.

 

**A few days ago, Polis**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You didn’t give a shit about politics; you are like Rayne in that matter. You sat by the fire, holding Rayne’s hand while Lexa fought her sixth day of negotiations with the leaders of the clans. Deimos laid on his back beside you and Phobos rested his head on your lap.

 

“It is funny how they are both still puppies.”

 

You felt Rayne stiffen beside you. When you turned to look at her you had burst into laughter; her expression was priceless.

 

“They are wolves the size of smaller horses, not puppies.” You saw her pouting. You laughed harder.

 

“Rayne, look at them.” You saw her eyes twitching as she took in the half-asleep derp face of Phobos in your lap and Deimos laying on his back to your feet, belly up, and purring like a kitten.

 

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “You made puppies out of my wolves.”

 

You leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I also made a puppy out of you.” She tried hard to give you a threatening look but she failed miserably. “I won’t tell anyone.” You kissed her until Lexa walked in.

 

“Ai sis.” _My sister._

 

Lexa looked pissed. Tired and pissed. Clarke was by her side looking pale and even more tired.

 

Lexa walked over, stroked your cheek once before she leaned into her sister and rested her forehead against hers. “Ai sis.” _My sister._ “Oso na ogud.” _We are ready._

 

Rayne nodded. “Kom wor.” _To war._

 

**Today, border of the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You feel a hand on your shoulder. “Oso ste ogud” _We are ready_ “Oso souda jomp em op nau.” _We should attack them now._ You don’t turn your head; you know it is Mahana.

 

“Chil au, Mahana. Ai chich hod op. Dula yu dula en masta op ai hedon.” _Calm down, Mahana. I said wait. Do your job and follow my orders._

 

You feel her tensing, then squeezing your shoulder. “I see why Rayne chose you.” Mahana backs off. You can’t hide your smile. She isn’t the first leader of another clan to pay you respect. You like it.

 

**A few days ago, Polis**

 

*****Raven*****

 

“You’re kidding me.”

 

Rayne turned and looked at you; she is patient. “Raven I will not take you to war.”

 

You throw your hands in the air. “You will leave me behind again? Wasn’t the last time enough, Rayne?”

 

She is always calm, always reserved. You saw her losing her shit and that usually ended in dead people. With you she is always contained. It makes you mad.

 

“This is something entirely different.” She walked towards you. “You will stay here, in safety.”

It was that moment something snapped inside you.

 

“Heda Rayne kom Trikru, ai hodnes.“ _Commander Rayne of the Tree People, my love._ “You may command the thirteen clans, but do not mistake me for one of your warriors.” You closed the distance between you and her in three quick strides. You feel her breath against your face. “You will not leave me behind again.”

 

She took a deep breath. Her hands formed fists. Her eyes displayed anger and frustration. She wasn’t used to ‘no’. You challenge her; you do it a lot.

 

“Raven I will not discuss-“

 

“Right, you will not discuss this with me.” You looked into her eyes and you saw devotion, where you were sure she saw resolve in yours. “I think I didn’t make myself clear. You may command the thirteen clans, Heda” you took another step so your body was pressed against hers, “ba ai ste yu Heda.” _but I am your Commander._ “You will not leave me behind. Am I understood?”

 

She blew your mind that night.

 

**Today, border of the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You see them coming closer. There is no sound but that of little feet on deep frozen snow. You can’t count them all. They are moving fast, like a blurry wave. You guess there are around forty. You raise your hand. “Thri. Tu. Won.” _Three. Two. One._ You close your raised hand to a fist. “Frag em op!” _Kill them!_

 

At your command Mahana and her warriors storm off into the field. Your job is done. You rise and turn; Deimos lowers himself beside you. You hear little bodies falling into the snow. You do not flinch. You mount Deimos and he walks away.

 

**A few days ago, Polis**

 

*****Raven*****

 

“Raven, ai hodnes.” _Raven, my love._ “This is Mahana, Kwin kom Kripakru.” _Queen of the Demon People._

 

You stepped towards her and clasped your arm with hers before you turned to Raven. „Who is she?“ Rayne never speaks in company of people she isn’t considering family or very close friends. If she does it, it is because she has to give orders. In Trigedasleng.

 

Rayne smiled at you and lowered her eyes. Mahana laughed; it was contagious. You looked at her. “Raven kom Trikru, I am impressed.” She lowered her head and touched the back of your hand with her forehead. “I was a distraction for Heda Rayne kom Trikru long before she met her soul.” You raised an eyebrow. “Before she met you.”

 

Mahana would lead the first wave of attack. She and her warriors would take care of the child assassins you expect to find in the forests at the borders of the Azgeda territory.

 

It was later that night when Rayne pulled you closer. “Are you mad at me?”

 

“Why should I be?”

 

She took a deep breath and buried her face in your neck. “Because of Mahana.”

 

You smiled. “I am not mad at you because you had sex before me, Rayne.” You kissed her forehead. “Did you love her?”

 

“I thought I did but we both were young and it was never meant to be. We are still friends and I trust her, I always will, which is why I want her to be with you when I can’t.”

 

You snuggled closer. “I understand. Thank you.”

 

**Today, border of the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Akuna’s hunters whistle and if you wouldn’t have been trained over the last days, you would have mistaken it for chirping birds. You rise and Phobos is by your side in an instant and you start walking towards the eastern end of the legion behind you.

 

Raven appears between the trees and you smile. You hug her tightly when she slides off Deimos’ back. “I am glad you are back, Raven.”

 

You feel her nodding against your shoulder. “Me too.”

 

“Did everything go well?”

 

Raven nods and leans back. “I guess around forty. They moved fast and as one, it was impossible to count them before it was too late.”

 

“Forty? That is not as much as we expected.” You take Raven’s hand. “We should prepare for the wounded to come back.”

 

You feel Raven tucking at your arm. “We should move and meet them halfway.”

 

You consider her proposal; she is right. If something went wrong, you are better off closer than further away. You nod. “Oso gyon au!” _We move on!_ Phobos lowers himself beside you and you mount him, leading the army ahead with Raven and Deimos at your side.

 

Lexa once told you that you were born to lead; when you think about it now, you know she is right. You are leading the clans to war to avenge the death of Fae and to free her people. You do it because it is the right thing to do, because you want her will fulfilled. You do it because you want those monsters dead. For Fae and Octavia and for the many lives lost to greed and madness.

 

**A few days ago, Polis**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You had a hard time to argue; the leaders of the clans respect you, but they are suspicious to follow you to war without your people giving their part. When they asked about the Sky People’s part in this war, Lexa attempted to speak for you – you didn’t let her.

 

“Less than 150 of my people survived the Mountain. Those alive are not warriors or hunters. My people are providing knowledge and medicine for all clans. My people save hundreds of yours. Isn’t that enough for you to honor the alliance?”

 

You are capable of fighting your own battles. You know that Lexa as well as Rayne suffered great losses and that both sisters tend to protect and pick up your and Raven’s battles. And they both have to learn that you are not weak.

 

After the negotiations, Akuna introduced herself. You were a little breath taken by her; she is tall and slender with dark skin. A beautiful woman and a strong queen.

 

“Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._ “Ai ste Kwin Akuna kom Stelkru.” _I am Queen Akuna of the Horse People._ “I understand we will ride to war together.”

 

“We will, Queen Akuna.” You clasped her arm and bowed your head slightly.

 

She smiled at you, tilting her head. “You are a born leader. We should get the people out of the habit of calling you Skai Prisa.” _Sky Princess._

 

You laughed. “And what is it you think they should call me?”

 

“Skai Kwin.” _Sky Queen._ She bowed and touched the back of your hand with her forehead. “You are strong and proud as well as kind and wise.”

 

**Today, forest before the Azgeda capital**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You see them approaching; there are many carrying a few. Mahana approaches ahead of her warriors and heads towards you. You halt and raise your hand, and the army stills behind you. Mahana bows before you and Raven. “We only lost nine. Their blades have not been able to pierce through the armor of my warriors. The children didn’t learn fast enough.”

 

You furrow. “The wounded?”

 

Mahana tilts her chin upwards. She looks proud, but you see sadness in her eyes. “As Heda Lexa said; there are no wounded, only dead. The poison kills faster than a clean blade.”

 

You nod. “We will head into the forest and prepare camp. Let your warriors rest for the night. The Trigedakru will secure the camp, they are used to moving within the woods.”

 

Mahana bows again. “May I ask for a pyre for my dead?”

 

You understand her wish to set her dead free, but the security of your army has to be your first concern. “I am not sure if the pyres won’t draw attention.”

 

Deimos moves closer and Raven leans over. “They know we are here anyway. Let them hunt, eat, rest and mourn their dead.” She looks towards Mahana. “We will have more than enough sacrifices ahead of us.”

 

“So be it.” You take a deep breath. “Burn the dead children too.” Mahana opens her mouth, but you silence her with a movement of your hand. You will not discuss this with anyone. “Those children may be misguided, but I will not let them rot. They will be set free along with our dead. Build a separate pyre if you wish, but they will receive a proper ceremony.”

 

Mahana looks at you like she has seen a ghost. “We are at war, we have no time to burn our enemies. We can take of that after we won.”

 

You look at her and you keep your voice calm. “You will obey my orders, Kwin Mahana kom Kripakru.” _Queen Mahana of the Demon People._ “The children will burn tonight, as well as our warriors.”

 

Mahana’s expression softens when she hears you say ‘our’ warriors. She bows. “Moba.” _My apologies._ “It will happen as ordered.”

 

The deeper you move into the forest, the more you get lost in thought. Something feels wrong. “Raven?” You look at your friend. She is still riding beside you.

 

“Mh?”

 

“We are moving around the capital with most of the army. The plan is to meet the riders, Lexa and Rayne tomorrow.” Your voice sounds dry and empty.

 

“Well, I won’t hold my breath.” You look at your friend and she shrugs.

 

“They were both acting strange since Fae…” you take a deep breath. “Talk, Raven.”

 

“You know Lexa and Rayne. I say they set us up with their entire army to keep us safe so they can head off half-cocked.”

 

You sigh. “That was my guess too.” You raise an eyebrow. ”We should adjust the plan.”

 

**Today, Azgeda territory**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You and Rayne are sitting on a tree close to a meadow. You finish eating and keep watch; Shak and Mars are close. As always when you are alone, you take time to fill each other in. You nearly fall off the branch when Rayne tells you about Raven’s speech.

 

“Em chich chit?!” _She said what?!_

 

Rayne smiles and blushes. She stretches and looks up into the sky. “Ai ste yu Heda.” _I am your Heda._

 

You shake your head, laughing softly. “Yu houmon ste yuj” _Your wife is strong._ Rayne never was one to accept a no. She also never was one to pick up fights if she didn’t deem it worth the effort. She argues with you, but with no one else.

 

The longer you think about it, the wider your smile grows. Raven challenges her. “Raven gada in tombom kom gona.” _Raven has the heart of a warrior._

 

Rayne smiles at you. “Em gada in ai tombom sentaim.” _She has my heart too._

 

You sit for a while in silence. “Yu ste os, ai sis?” _Are you okay, my sister?_ You look at Rayne. You see the same guilt that clenches your heart displayed in her eyes. You nod.

 

**A few days ago, Polis**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

After the negotiations were over, it was finally time to make a plan. You and Rayne sneaked out when Clarke and Raven were fast asleep.

 

You need a first wave to get rid of the child assassins. You need a second wave to draw attention. You need to kill the leaders of the Sheigedakru. _Night People._

 

All you know is what Fae shared – they are led by a brother and a sister. The biggest challenge will be to find them.

 

Rayne is on the same page. Not a single one of the Night People will survive. You can’t risk letting the leaders flee. You need to get a hold of them before they vanish.

 

You plan the war. You decide to keep it between the two of you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ the end:
> 
> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	26. Wamplei ste raun (Death is neigh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe PTSD and/or temporary mental disorders and/or depression and/or self-destructive behavior caused by grief.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Wamplei ste raun (Death is neigh)**

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

The capital is mostly built out of wood and ice. It is bitter cold and your body screams at you. You are covered in furs and leathers to keep your skin from bruising and that makes you even more uncomfortable. The furs are heavy, the leather is constricting. You feel like you can’t move fast enough.

 

You sent Mars and Shak off to your army back in the woods; you couldn’t risk keeping them near. You continued your way to the capital by foot.

 

Rayne is beside you, pointing up the city wall. It is night and so cold that most of the guards stay close to the fires. There is a thick and heavy fog that you both are grateful for. It keeps you hidden as the fires expose the guards for you.

 

You follow your sister through the snow to a spot at the wall where a tree is near. You climb it and jump over and onto the city wall. You can’t help but shake your head about the sloppy guards.

 

You move through the city towards the royal residence. You barely see people on your way.

 

**Today, forest before the Azgeda capital**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You walk through camp with Raven, flanked by Phobos and Deimos, talking through your options. You are sure that Lexa took off with Rayne to deal with the leaders of the Sheigedakru on their own. It is Lexa to do so; if she is able to kill them, there will be no war. No war means less lives lost.

 

You understand her decision. The crown of leadership is a heavy one to bear; you learned it the same hard way. Your people always come first. You would sacrifice your own life without hesitation if it could save those you were called to protect.

 

For Lexa and Rayne this is even more real than it is for you. They both have been chosen to lead their people. They both had no choice. You know how much Rayne despises the fact she has to be Heda; and you also know that Lexa would have preferred a simple life.

 

As much as you understand it, you feel despair and anger. How dare she leave you out? How could she make this decision without you?

 

Raven walks beside you; her leg is much better. She is still limping, but only slightly. She looks for Akuna; in fact, you are both looking for her. Akuna is one of the most respected leaders in the alliance, not only for her horses and leadership qualities. She is a tactical genius as well.

 

“Skai Kwin.” _Sky Queen._

 

You turn and see Akuna stepping out of a little tent. You bow your head slightly. “Queen Akuna.” You take a few steps towards her. “May I introduce you to-“

 

“Raven kom Trikru, houmon kom Heda Rayne.” _Raven of the Tree People, wife to Commander Rayne._ “I know who you are.”

 

“Queen Akuna, we were looking for you.” You look at her and you know your expression is serious.

 

Akuna looks at you and Raven with curious eyes. “You found me, my Queen.” She touches the back of Raven’s hand with her forehead, turns towards you and repeats the motion. “How may I be of service?”

 

“We have reason to believe that Lexa and Rayne pissed off to kill the leaders of the Sheigedakru on their own. We need to attack the capital and save their sorry asses so I can kill them for being reckless.” You love Raven. She isn’t one to talk around stuff.

 

Akuna’s eyes grow wide. You suppress a smile; Raven also never was the one to use proper titles or talk things prettier than they are.

 

“You believe that they headed alone into the capital?” Akuna furrows.

 

You hear a bursting laugh. “Of course they did. What did you expect?” You look over Akuna’s shoulder and see Mahana stepping out of the tent. “Please tell me you didn’t figure that out just now.”

 

You tilt your head. “What does that mean?”

 

Mahana crosses her arms and shoots you a smile. “Heda Lexa and Heda Rayne were never ones to let others deal with their business. The tactic of attack we follow here is one to protect you and not to attack the capital is obvious, even for me.” She looks at Akuna. “Am I right?”

 

Akuna nods. “You are indeed right, Mahana kom Kripakru.” _Mahana of the Demon People._

“Heda Lexa and Heda Rayne would never leave you two unprotected.” She points at the wolves at your sides. “The army of the thirteen clans is here to keep you safe, not to attack the capital.” She is right. You should have figured that out earlier.

 

Raven clears her throat. “I’m sorry if we… disturbed you.”

 

Mahana laughs, again. It is a laugh like a thousand bells. Akuna smiles. “We are at war and our first and most important concerns are always our Hedas and Queens.”

 

You cross your arms. “Then, Queen Akuna, I need you to help me to plan the attack of the capital as quickly as possible. I can’t risk losing Lexa.”

 

Akuna smiles and nods. “Your wish is my command.” She turns towards the woman beside her. “Mahana, look after the camp being secured and prepared for the wounded. We take only the fastest. We need a fallback here.”

 

Mahana nods. “Sha.” _Yes._ She leans in and kisses Akuna’s cheek.

 

Akuna then turns towards you and Raven and opens the flap of the tent. “I have an idea. Let’s see what you think.”

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

There is only one guard securing the entry to the royal residence. You hesitate. You can’t go over and ask if he is loyal to his people or to the Sheigedakru. _Night People._ Rayne gives you a sign to wait; she observes his movements.

 

When the guard scratches his neck, you see the mark of the Azgeda. Only the royal guard wears the mark on their necks. He may be one of those you are here to save. Rayne nods once and you leap out behind the corner and attack the guard. He lands on his back with you on top of him. You cover his mouth with your hand and press your dagger against his throat.

 

The guard looks at you with wide eyes. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t fight back. He nods once, only slightly.

 

Rayne steps beside you, her daggers in her hands. You look into the guard’s eyes. “Who do you serve?” You pull your hand back and give the guard room to speak. He swallows.

 

“Ai Prisa Fae, Heda.” _My Princess Fae, Commander._

 

“Who are you, guard?” You voice is calm but firm.

 

“I am Kahl, personal guard of Princess Fae.” You feel Rayne’s hand on your shoulder.

 

“Em ste ron oso ridiyo op.” _He tells us the truth._ “Breik em au.” _Let him go._ You pull your dagger back and rise.

 

Kahl stays down. “What are you doing here, Heda? You should leave, it is not safe here.”

 

You tilt your chin upwards. “I know. We are here to end the Sheigedakru.” _Night People._ “We are here to free Fae’s people.”

 

Kahl rises, slowly. “You know Fae? Where is she? Is she well?” You hear fear and devotion in his voice. You can’t risk it anyway.

 

“Where are the leaders?”

 

He nods towards the building. “Inside.”

 

“Gonas?” _Warriors?_ Rayne steps closer.

 

“No, Heda.” _Commander._ “They do not need guards. They are not human.”

 

You tilt your head. “What are they, if not human?”

 

His eyes show dread. “Immortals. They can’t be killed, Heda.” _Commander._ “They are feared by their own people as well as mine. No one dares to come close.”

 

Rayne huffs. You smile. “We will see.” You take another step towards Kahl. “Is your devotion towards Fae and your people true, Kahl?”

 

He nods. “I live to serve my Queen and my people. I will die for them.”

 

You smile. “Then keep your post, Kahl. We will test the immortality of their leaders.” Kahl offers you his arm and you take it. “Tell us what you know about them.”

 

“Twins, Heda.” He takes a deep breath. “They move as one. Isaac, the older brother, is strong. His twin sister, Ishmael, is fast and silent as death.” He bows his head. “Isaac’s arrows and throwing daggers are deadly, as are Ishmael’s blades. You can’t get close to her, and she keeps you from coming close to him.” He looks back into your eyes. “They are gods, Heda.”

 

You look at Rayne. “Then we will kill gods.”

 

Kahl swears to not let anyone enter the building. He swears to die, for his people and Fae as well as for you if necessary.

 

You feel Rayne beside you while you sneak inside. You feel her arm brushing yours every other step. You know how it feels to fight beside your twin. You know the strength that comes out the love of a sisterhood like this.

 

Rayne is you, you are her. You know each other’s movements and thoughts; you feel her as she feels you. Your people call you the mightiest Commander that ever was. You are, because Rayne is. She is your armor and your weapon.

 

Together, you are an unstoppable force.

 

You have a feeling that these twins you are facing are an unmovable object.

 

This won’t be easy.

 

**A few days ago, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You are close to breaking the surface of sleep. You feel the fire behind you, the fur covering you; you feel warm and protected. You hear Buddy grazing outside the cave, you hear Anzu’s breathing and you hear birds singing.

 

You want to wake up and at the same time you don’t. You know that the fire was out at some point last night; you haven’t made a new one. Someone did. You search your memories. You remember someone holding you. You remember a voice sweet as honey. You remember a smell like hyacinths in spring. You remember an embrace soft as snow.

 

You feel a tuck at your heart. This little string - constricting it, holding it, binding it - tucks again. Your head says ‘ _stay asleep’_ , your heart says ‘ _wake up’_. You heart can go to hell and rot in pieces.

 

You saw the pain in Rayne’s eyes. You saw the pain in Lexa’s eyes. You saw the ten wrapped bodies going down in flames. Your heart is playing games with you. You won’t give in.

 

You wrap the fur tighter around you and close your eyes shut as hard as you can.

 

Your head hurts; the pounding pain forces you to break out of your sleep. You try to move and groan; you slept too much. Your body is rioting; you are used to a top of six hours. You slept a whole night and nearly a whole day.

 

You try to stretch and your back pops, along with your neck and shoulders. You groan in pain. Fine then, you are used to pain. Physical pain is easier to handle for you and it is distracting you from the wounds on your heart.

 

You relax your body; you’re lying on your back now, your arm covering your eyes. You have a feeling you will die a slow and painful death if you open them now. Your head still sends waves of pain, and you know your eyes are going to hurt.

 

You feel tears. You feel your lungs screaming for air. You don’t want to cry again. You don’t want to hear yourself crying again. Your muscles are already sore. You hold your breath. If you’re not giving your lungs air, you won’t sob.

 

Here you are again, asking yourself if this will ever stop.

 

_Fae._

 

You think of her and you lose it again. You suck in a breath and your body releases it in a sob that’s wrecking you. You curl up and cry. You scream. You feel pain in your throat, your muscles hurt and your heart is breaking all over again.

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Akuna considered your options.

 

Prepare an attack from the sides of the city; this would be the safest way with less lives lost. But, it would require you to build ladders and prepare two separate fallback camps, which would cost you around two days.

 

Assault the city through the main gate right away with a lot of risk. It is risky, but provides the best chances to save Lexa and Rayne.

 

You look at Raven. You see the internal fight in her eyes that is mirrored inside you as well.

 

**Months ago, Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

It was the night before you attacked Mount Weather. You were back in Lexa’s tent, pacing. “What if we're wrong and cutting the power doesn't disengage the locks?”

 

Lexa laid on her furs, getting up and walking over to you. “Your people said it will. You should rest, Clarke.”

 

“We could blow the doors manually.”

 

You hear her sigh. “Plans don't last very long in battle. Tiring yourself with questions already asked and answered is a waste of energy.”

 

“People died for this, Lexa. It has to work.”

 

“You're doing what I did when I first took command. We can't move forward and it's giving you too much time to think. Once Bellamy shuts down the acid fog and the battle begins, everything will be clear.”

 

“What if he can't? What if it was too dangerous and I sent him in there anyway?”

 

“You care about him.”

 

“I care about all of them.”

 

“But you worry about him more.”

 

“I couldn't have kept us alive all this time without him. We need him. And now I might be the one who gets him killed.”

 

Lexa stepped closer and you saw a fire in her eyes you were not sure how to take. Devotion, love, resolve, fear, jealousy, frustration and anger. Maybe a spark of hope. “That's what it means to be a leader, Clarke. The truth is, we must look into the eyes of our warriors and say, 'go die for me'.”

 

"If only it were that easy. Can we please just get back to the plan?"

 

"No. You could be a leader your people look up to. Pour their hopes and dreams into. Someone they would fight and die for."

 

"I never asked for that. I'm just trying to keep us alive."

 

"You were born for this, Clarke. Same as me."

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Lexa was right. You were born for this. Your people look up to you, up to Lexa. It is a hard call to make, but it is the right one. “We leave now.” You rise. “This is about the alliance and Lexa and Rayne _are_ the alliance.” You turn and leave the tent, Raven and Akuna right behind you. You mount Phobos and make your way through the camp.

 

Within the hour you arrive at the north side. Mahana’s people provided you and Raven armor, as well as Phobos and Deimos. You wear war paint, as well as the sword Lexa gifted to you back in Polis. Your hand rests on its hilt while you approach the raiding party.

 

You see warriors of the Kripakru mounted on armored horses. You see the best of the Trigedakru on horses of the Stelkru. They all move out of your way, bowing their heads. When you reach the front of the legion, you halt and turn.

 

“My Queen.” Mahana makes her way to your right. “My warriors, as well as Akuna’s, will storm the city with you.” She bows her head.

 

Akuna appears to your left beside Raven. “We will fight and die with you.”

 

You look at Raven. She nods at you, you stretch out your hand and she takes it. “We will save them, Clarke.”

 

You nod. “Kom wor!” _To war!_ Phobos howls and leaps, followed by his brother and Raven, flanked by Akuna and Mahana and the best warriors of the Trikru, Kripakru and Stelkru behind you.

 

No matter what, you will save Lexa and Rayne. No matter what, you will free the Azgeda.

 

**A few days ago, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You don’t know how long you are screaming and crying. You feel Anzu laying down beside you, his nose nuzzling over your head. He tries to spend you some comfort. It hurts even more.

 

You don’t want to feel this anymore. You want it all to end. You can’t do this anymore. You breathe in, you feel your lungs stinging, and you scream again.

 

You feel arms being wrapped around you. _No_.

 

You feel your body being pressed against another, held tightly. _No_.

 

You feel lips being pressed against your forehead, kissing away the tears on your cheeks. _No_.

 

You feel the breath against your neck. You hear the words whispered into your ear. “Ai ste hir, Octavia.” _I am here, Octavia._

 

You keep your eyes closed, clinging onto denial. The string tied to your heart tucks. Again.

 

This is _impossible_.

 

Your head says ‘ _stay asleep, keep your eyes closed’_. Your heart says ‘ _wake up, open your eyes’_.

 

This time you finally listen to your heart. You open your eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	27. Osir gon raun ogeda, otaim (We fight together, always)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe Necrophilia and/or abuse of corpses.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members to major characters and/or children.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Osir gon raun ogeda, otaim (We fight together, always)**

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You pass several rooms on your way, most of the doors are ajar. You crouch, your sword in your hand. You halt when you feel Rayne’s hand on your lower back and turn. She gestures you to stay quiet and gives you a sign to move a few steps back into the room to your left.

 

You enter and look around; it seems to be Fae’s room. You see several paintings in the little light the moon spends through the thick fog.

 

“Disha ste koken.” _This is madness._ Rayne’s voice is a whisper, but you hear the dread in her tone. You turn and follow her look.

 

Queen Nia was a beautiful woman. You knew her for most of your life. She had the same silvery white hair Fae has, and, when she was still alive and not yet fallen into madness, the same violet shimmer in her eyes. She had the same white and flawless skin, a slender but strong figure and a royalty in her every move that was breathtaking.

 

Queen Nia’s body is placed on the bed in an upright sitting position. Her eyes grey and misty, her lips stitched together so they would stay closed. Her hands are to her right and left at eyelevel, fixed with nails through her palms to the wall.

 

The dress which still covers her beaten body partly is ripped into pieces and stained with dried blood. The left half of her body shows several deep slashes on her side, her thigh and a wound which looks like a bite on her neck, while the right half of her body is perfectly intact. You can connect those wounds to Anzu.

 

Her lower body is exposed and bruised, her legs spread. It looks like her left thigh is dislocated. You can’t connect those to a bear. Those were done by a human. Isaac.

 

You feel bile rising. You lower your head and look at your sister. She swallows and covers her mouth with her hand. You scoot closer to Rayne and lay your arm around her shoulders. You feel her shaking and you know it’s not because of the biting cold, which seems to be responsible for Queen Nia’s body to be still saved from the natural process of rotting.

 

She is shaking because she despises violence. She kills, like the Azgeda general back in Polis or Kahn in Ton DC, when she has to. It is often considered violent, which is why Rayne is feared and respected, but she always paid respect to the bodies. Not one killed by her wasn’t released and cleansed in fire.

 

You lean your head into hers. “Disha ste koken… Ishmael en Isaac na ste wan op hashta disha. Jus drein, jus daun.” _This is madness. Ishmael and Isaac will die for this. Blood must have blood._

 

Rayne takes a deep breath and looks at you. She nods. You press her to you for a moment and pull your hands back to rise to your feet. Rayne walks over to the bed. She takes off her furs and covers Nia’s body. You walk to her and take off your furs to repeat the act.

 

You lower your heads to the queen, a silent promise to avenge her and come back to set her soul free before you leave the room and continue your way. You feel lighter, more flexible. While moving, you and Rayne loosen the leather strings of your armor and covers. You need to be able to move. You need to be fast.

 

**Today, forest before the Azgeda capital**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You ride fast and with every step Phobos takes, you feel the excitement rising. The black wolf carrying you growls and snarls, just like his brother beside you. Mahana and Akuna are flanking you and Raven on horseback and you can see that their horses struggle to keep up.

 

When you are about to breach the forest’s border, Deimos barks and both wolves slow down. You raise your hand and you hear the army behind you coming to a halt.

 

“Mars?” Raven’s voice is filled with a cold fear. “Mars, come to me boy!” Raven dismounts Deimos and walks towards the black horse. You follow her and the closer you get, the clearer you see Shak’s form behind Mars.

 

“They sent them off to find us.” You swallow and stroke Shak’s head. “They are already inside.”

 

Akuna stills her horse beside you. “Skai Queen, we should move on.” You look at her and she nods. “Send me my guards!”

 

A minute later, her personal guards cover Mars and Shak with their horses’ armor. You watch them and try to understand. “Queen Akuna, why…?”

 

Mahana answers. “You may want to ride them, so Heda Rayne’s wolves are free to fight. We won’t risk them getting hurt. Akuna’s people breed the best horses in the alliance, but we all know that Shak and Mars are special, just like Shak’s younger brother. Speaking of… Heda Lexa sent her general Indra to collect him. Where is he?”

 

A short laugh escapes Raven. “He is with our sister Octavia.” Mahana nods once, she knows when to keep her questions to herself.

 

“We are ready to move.” Akuna approaches you and lays her hand on your shoulder. “We will arrive at the gates within a few minutes.” You nod and mount Shak; he accepts you and follows your commands, but it feels wrong to sit on his back without Lexa’s arms around you. You turn and look at Raven. It is a habit.

 

You smile when you see Mars kneeling down before Raven. He tilts his head and Raven grips the reins; he pulls her up his back by tilting his head into the other direction and rises only when she sits securely in the saddle. She strokes his mane where she is able to bury her fingers into it between the different pieces of armor before she looks at you. “Let’s go get our girls.”

 

Phobos and Deimos lead the way, adjusting your direction several times on the way to the capital. They keep you from riding over broken trees and ice, which may cause the horses to slip or fall.

 

The fog does not clear up and it takes a while until you can make out the form of the Azgeda capital in the distance. You are leading your army straight to the gate, without hesitation.

 

When you are close enough to make out the forms of the guards around the fires on top of the wall, you slow down and let heavily armored warriors ride past you. The army behind you starts to chant; it is an incredible feeling.

 

The warriors throw ropes to the wooden structure of the gate, which are secured to their horses. The horses themselves are not as big as Shak, but still massive. Eventually eight warriors throw ropes to the gates, each one slung around a trunk. They turn and push their horses off into the direction they came from.

 

It takes three pulls of all the horses to rip the gate off of its hinges. As soon as the wooden structure hits the ground, your army storms off from behind you, screaming for blood.

 

Most of the arrows the Azgeda guards are firing at you miss their targets or break on the armor. Only a few hit uncovered flesh and bring down a rider or a horse. You do not halt.

 

The second wave of your army will arrive in a few minutes to rescue the wounded and take them back to the camp along with warriors without horses to secure the sections of the city you already conquered.

 

You are prepared.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You mapped most of the residence; you have a slight idea where to find Ishmael and Isaac but agreed with Rayne to do it the way Anya would have done it.

 

_"Never storm off into unknown territory. Walk with the light and the weather. Know your surroundings, map the territory. Know your ways; know how to fight and how to escape if necessary. Use what you have, use what the ground is giving you."_

 

When you approach what seems to be the great hall, both you and Rayne rise into upright standing positions. You crouched most of the time, trying to stay hidden. You both know that now you have to fight.

 

You are not clinging to the illusion of taking the twins by surprise. They are good. You have to be better. Rayne looks at you and you nod. She shoves the door to the hall open and you enter, your sword in your hand and Rayne beside you.

 

You are prepared.

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You ride into the city behind your warriors, flanked by Phobos and Deimos. The Azgeda archers fall one by one, as do their guards. Many surrender, dropping their weapons and falling down to their knees. Only a few fight back and those who do so are good. You guess that those are not Azgeda, but Sheigeda.

 

You have your sword in your hand and you take in your surroundings, your eyes flickering over the black blade and the engraving.

 

_“Gon Skai Prisa, slip daun kom skai kom au ste Kwin en houmon kom Heda.”_ _For the Sky Princess, fallen from the sky to be queen and wife to the Commander._

_“Osir gon op sintaim ogeda na kom osir gonplei ste odon.” We fight each day together until our fight is over._

 

“Clarke! This way!” You turn and look at Raven; she is on a crossroads beside Deimos. The wolf is crouching and his muscles are twitching. “I think he sniffed out Rayne and Lexa.”

 

You urge Shak into her direction, Phobos by your side. “Mahana!” You call for the Queen of the Kripakru and she hears your call. She commands fifteen warriors to follow her and you make your way through the city, following Deimos.

 

You do not see a single woman or child. A few warriors and guards cross your path, most of them surrender. And again, a few Shaigedakru warriors that fight back. Most of them fall under Phobos and Deimos. One tries to attack Raven; Mars tramples him to death under his hooves. It sounds as bloody as it looks.

 

“The royal residence is ahead, my Queen.” Mahana points ahead. You follow her gaze and spot the building. You make your way and more than half of your warriors stay behind to secure those who surrendered.

 

You approach the building and spot a single guard. He is standing tall at the buildings entry. He does not move.

 

**A few days ago, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You open your eyes and the sobs stop.

 

You see silvery locks of hair framing a pale neck and falling over tiny shoulders. You see the pale skin and marks of blue and black ink, covering part of her chest, growing thicker and more detailed over her collarbone and shoulder and down her upper arm.

 

You take a deep breath and calm yourself. You take in her scent. You stretch your hand forward and place it on the exposed part of her chest that is not covered by leather. You feel a heartbeat and you take in the warmth.

 

You tilt your head upwards. You look into grey eyes with a violet shimmer, wet from tears. You see silvery brows furrowing, red lips trying not to tremble. You see pain, you see devotion and you see love. You see guilt.

 

You sit up, just to scoot closer. You wrap your arms around her tiny frame and press her against you. She stiffens for a second before she holds onto you as if there is no tomorrow. Her hands roam over your sides and back and her lips press soft kisses to the hollow of your neck.

 

“Ai ste hir, Octavia.” _I am here, Octavia._ “Moba… beja. Moba.” _Forgive me… please. Forgive me._

 

You shake your head. You do not shake it to tell her _no_ , you shake it to make yourself believe it’s not a dream. You feel tears forming again, running down your face. You tighten your hold on her. You press her against you harder and harder. You bury your face in her neck. You do not move for what feels like hours.

 

She keeps comforting you. Anzu lies down beside you, allowing your melded forms to rest against his back. Her hands are still stroking your sides and head, cupping your cheek and stroking loose hair out of your face. You keep looking at her. You want to say so much, you know you want to, but you can’t bring yourself to form words.

 

The sun is setting when she starts to move slightly. You adjust. She moves, you move. She gets up onto her feet, her hands never leaving you. She helps you up and walks you a few feet over to a little pool of steaming water. She starts to undo your armor.

 

It is then you realize you haven’t really bothered about washing yourself. You blush, slightly, and lower your eyes. Her hands cup your face the same second. “Don’t.” Her thumb strokes over your cheek. “Don’t look away from me. Don’t be ashamed. Please.” You look into her eyes and you see no sign of disgust or anger or reservation. You see, again, only devotion, love, pain and guilt.

 

You let her undress you and set you down into the hot water; you feel your body tensing and your sore muscles protesting for a few seconds until you start to relax. Fae makes quick work of her garments and joins you. She sits close to you, her thigh and her arm touching yours. You want to close your eyes, but you can’t find it in you to renounce her view even for a second. If you could, you would stop to blink.

 

Fae starts to undo your braids; her fingers are soft and she doesn’t rush. When your hair is all loose and without knots, she grabs a cloth and a soap placed beside the pool and starts to create a lather. She only hesitates for a second before she starts to wash your hair. You let her. You enjoy it. You do not take your eyes off her.

 

After you both are clean and covered in furs, Fae starts to wash your clothes. She lays them out close to the pools where the stones are warm to dry. She searches your eyes even while she is doing something else every few seconds.

 

She sits down beside you and starts to prepare meat for the fire. You furrow. Fae never touched raw meat. You see several berries and fruits beside the fire. She is doing it for you. You feel a sting in your chest. You cover her hands with yours. “Let me.”

 

She looks at you, pain in her eyes. “Octavia-“

 

You shake your head. “I take care of the meat.” You look at her. “Just stay with me.” She nods and scoots closer. She leans her head onto your shoulder. “What happened Fae?”

 

You feel her taking a deep breath.

 

**The night of the attack, Ton DC**

 

*****Fae*****

 

You ran towards Lexa and jumped, you landed with your feet on hers and she pushed up high enough so you were able to throw your dagger. You saw the blade sinking into the child’s skull and the little body going down. You finished your turn in the air, landed on your feet, leaped forward and grabbed the dagger.

 

A shiver ran down your spine at the feeling of the blade leaving the skull again. You had no time to feel guilty; there were still five left. You ran towards a girl and a boy. You knew that something was wrong with those two.

 

The closer you got, you realized that they wore the mark of the leaders. The symbol of the Shaigedakru was, only half but still there, marked onto their necks. When you reached them, the little girl, hiding behind her brother, obviously twin brother, took a side-step and shot a needle with a little tube towards you. The needle only grazed you, but you felt the poison working through your body nonetheless. Your limbs were going numb and you fell down onto your knees.

 

“Yu na wan op, Fae.” _You will die now, Fae._ The boy’s face was without expression, his words filled with resolve and cold. “Yu wamplei en yu mela na oso teik gyon bak houm.” _Your death and your head will allow us to go back home.”_

 

You feel your body surrendering to the poison. You furrow. “Yo ste ems yungons.” _You are their children._

 

The boy smiles. “Sha.” _Yes._

 

If the leaders of the Sheigedakru sent their heirs off because they failed the tests, it is even worse than you thought. You felt yourself falling over, leaning onto your arms now.

 

It was then Lexa and Rayne killed the boy and the girl. Lexa kneeled before you and you looked at her. “I am immune to the poison. I suffer the symptoms, but not death. I will be fine in a few minutes.” It was hard to breathe nonetheless.

 

Lexa lowered herself. “This may be our only chance, Fae.” You nodded. She was right.

 

“Please… keep Anzu with Octavia. He will find me.” Lexa squeezed your hand.

 

“I will make sure that she will find you.”

 

Rayne and Lexa covered the bodies of the dead children. For you, they covered a little deer to be burned. You left with a heavy heart, filled with guilt. You heard Octavia screaming.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	28. Emo ou oso (Them or us)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.  
> We mention/describe incest, slavery and violence towards women and infants.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Emo ou oso (Them or us)**

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

The room is wide and nearly empty, only a few torches to the sides spending a little light. The first thing you take in is the way he is sitting on the throne. There is no grace or honor, no pride or confidence. He is just there.

 

His head resting on his arm, his legs crossed and thrown over the side of the throne, he looks at you with an absolutely emotionless expression. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t react at all.

 

You widen your stance; Rayne is beside you. You feel her breathing evening out just as yours does. Your heartbeats slow down. Your bodies prepare. Your muscles harden, your senses heighten. You are aware of everything surrounding you and ready to kill.

 

You tighten the grip on your sword; he is not alone. She is behind him. You can’t see her, you feel her, you hear her. She is leaning against the backside of the throne. “Yo gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over._

 

He laughs. It is a hard, short laugh. It sounds not at all amused or annoyed, it is just an empty sound. “If you would please stick to English, savage.” He throws his legs over and rises. “We do not speak your tongue.” He smiles.

 

You crouch slightly, as Rayne does. You stay where you are, Rayne moves to the right. She will take care of Ishmael. You keep focused on Isaac. “You will die.”

 

He tilts his head and takes a step forward. He is still too far away. “You are quite impolite.” The smile on his face fades, his expression changes from nothing to anger. “That’s no behavior for the Commander of the thirteen clans, is it.” It is not a question. It is a statement.

 

“And who do you think you are to lecture me?” The longer you look at him, the sicker you feel.

 

He stares you. You can make out hatred in his eyes. “I am Isaac, Dawn of the Night. I am the king of my people and I will be king to your people.” He smiles again, mischievously. “Or what will be left of them.”

 

You feel a hot sting jolting through your body. You grab your dagger and throw it. Your aim is true. The woman behind the throne leaps forward, she wields two short swords. She turns and smashes your dagger midflight out the air with a swing of her blade. You dagger pierces the ground.

 

Isaac smiles wider. “May I introduce you to my dear twin sister, Ishmael, Twilight of the Night. queen to my people.” Ishmael smiles at you; she looks innocent when she bends over and bows. She isn’t.

 

You see Rayne in your peripheral vision. She nods over to you. You do not take your eyes off Isaac and Ishmael; you are trained well enough to see what Rayne wants to show you anyway, you know her well enough to understand what she wants to tell you.

 

She will take Ishmael. You will take Isaac.

 

“Isaac and Ishmael. You are here uninvited. This is not your home.” You start to move. Ishmael adjusts. You do this to learn more about her movements, to study her. She is fast, she is good. You need to make out a weak spot.

 

“Nia invited us.” Isaacs tone lacks every emotion.

 

“You are responsible for Queen Nia’s death.”

 

He takes a step forward, Ishmael changes her direction and is in front of him in the same moment. “Her bastard daughter killed her. Or more her teddy did. We had nothing to do with her death.” He leans backwards to grab the bow leaning against the throne. “Her demise alone does not undo our invitation.”

 

“You killed Fae.”

 

Ishmael smiles. It is her to speak this time. “My children did. She killed the Ice Nation’s queen, it was our responsibility to avenge her. She is such a kind host.”

 

“Lies.” You seethe with anger. “You feed on your own kind, you rape and kill innocents and you disrespect life itself as well as death. You dishonor Queen Nia. You are not welcome among my people.”

 

Isaac laughs. “So then, Commander. Try to stop us.” He draws an arrow and aims at you. “You will suffer. I will destroy everything you love, everyone you love. I will keep you alive long enough to watch me teaching your little blonde bitch what devotion and submission is, just as I taught Nia.”

 

_Clarke._

 

Your mind goes blank. You leap forward, Isaac releases the arrow into your direction. You do not flinch; Rayne rushes past you. You do not see the arrow breaking on her blade, but you hear it.

 

Ishmael screams and leaps forward. You ignore her. Rayne attacks her and keeps her away from you. You make your way and cross the hall. You only see Isaac. You will have his blood.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You dismount and approach the guard. He looks at you and you draw your sword; Phobos is beside you, Raven and Deimos a few steps behind you. Mahana approaches the guard. “Gyon we.” _Go away._

 

The guard narrows his eyes. “Chon yu bilaik?” _Who are you?_

 

You step in front of Mahana; Phobos doesn’t growl. So the guard means you no harm. “Ai laik Clarke kom Trigedakru.“ _I am Clarke of the Tree People._

 

The guard goes down to one knee and offers you his blade. “Ai badan op ai Heda en ai Kwin.” _I serve my Commander and my Queen_.

 

You furrow. “What is your name?”

 

The guard rises, his head still lowered. “I am Kahl, my Queen.”

 

“Is Lexa inside?” You shake your head. You are nervous and anxious. “Is your Heda inside, Kahl?”

 

The guard nods. “Heda Lexa and Heda Rayne are inside, my Queen.”

 

You take a step towards him. “Let us pass.”

 

Kahl widens his stance. “My Queen, I can’t. I swore to stay guard and let no one pass.”

 

You furrow. “I am your queen, Kahl. I order you to stay down and let us pass.” He hesitates. “I unbind you from your previous orders by the power I hold as Heda Lexa’s promised one.” You lift the armor on your arm and show him the bracelet. “Let us pass.”

 

Kahl closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He relaxes his stance and steps aside. “My Queen. Be careful.”

 

You nod. “Mahana.”

 

“Yes?” The queen of the Kripakru steps beside you.

 

“Stay here.” You raise your hand before she can respond. “Our people need leaders, Mahana. If something happens to Lexa and Rayne, or maybe even me and Raven, I need you and Akuna to keep the alliance intact.”

 

Mahana bows. “Sha ai Kwin.” _Yes my Queen._

 

You enter the building. You focus on Phobos and Deimos, both wolves are walking in front of you, following the scent of their master. You do not try to be quiet. Lexa and Rayne are already here. You deem it more important to be fast than unseen.

 

**A few days ago, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You eat while you listen to Fae. You look into the fire while you chew. You understand what she is telling you. You understand why she had to do what she did. You really understand.

 

Understanding doesn’t make it hurt less.

 

“Octavia.” She scoots closer. “Octavia, please.” You hear her. You can’t respond. She moves in front of you and lowers her head so she is looking into your eyes. You refocus and you feel your attention drawn into her eyes. “Octavia.”

 

“Yes.”

 

She breathes in and closes her eyes, only for a second, before you drown again. “I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

 

You smile and drop your head. “I know. No one of the people I loved ever meant to hurt me. They did anyway.”

 

She cups your cheek. “Who?”

 

You lean back and look up to the ceiling and out the little hole. You see the stars. “My mother. My brother. Lincoln.” You close your eyes and a tear finds her way down your cheek. “My mother was floated for giving birth to me. My brother sacrificed his life to save us in Mount Weather. Lincoln died there, fighting for what was right.”

 

“Oh my… Octavia…”

 

You tilt your head and look at Fae. “Hurting me was something none of them did intentionally. It was always just a side effect. It was never about me. It is never about me.” You breathe in, you feel your voice trembling. “It is always about others, I just get hurt in the process. It’s like I still don’t exist. I play a minor role in the lives of others.”

 

Fae leans forward, her hands cupping your cheeks. She leans her forehead against yours. “You are my sun, Octavia.” She tilts her head and places a kiss on your lips. The second you feel her lips on yours, you relax. “I will spend the rest of my life taking care of you and earning your trust again.”

 

“You are the Queen of the Azgeda, Fae. I am the second to Heda Rayne. Even if this war ends well and we stay alive, you will be with your people.”

 

Fae doesn’t flinch or hesitate. “I am dead to the world, Octavia. If it is what you wish, I will stay dead to the world to be with you.”

 

You furrow. “You would shun your people to be with me?”

 

She nods. You feel that she is sincere. You know it. She would ignore her title and her duty, she would forget about her responsibility towards her people for you. She would stay hidden with you, living a simple and happy life.

 

You can’t let that happen.

 

“No.” You cover her hands with yours. “Yu laik Kwin Fae kom Azgeda.” _You are Queen Fae of the Ice People._ “Yu kru gaf yu in.” _Your people need you._ “Yu kru gaf in em kwin” _Your people need their queen._

 

“Octavia-“

 

“No.” You rise. “It is what, a three days ride to the Azgeda border?” Fae nods. “Maybe we can catch up with Lexa and Rayne at the border.” You turn and start to pack the saddlebags.

 

“Octavia. Are you sure of what you are doing?”

 

You still. “I will give the Azgeda their queen back.” You turn and look at her. “I will stay with my woman and do what’s right, even if it means to lose her again.” You close the distance between you. “If it is supposed to be, I will spend my life with you, but not at the expense of others.”

 

It is the middle of the night when you mount Buddy and ride off to the north. Fae is riding on Anzu beside you.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You hear Rayne’s blades meeting Ishmael’s; the clashing metal echoes painfully in the nearly empty hall. Your eyes are locked on Isaac. He doesn’t move. You are running towards him and he doesn’t move; that doesn’t help the freezing shiver running down your spine.

 

The closer you get, the clearer you see his face. His eyes are dark brown, as his hair is. He keeps it short, his body is covered with scars and cuts. He looks well trained, but sick. His skin is, and you can see this even though the olive tone of his skin, too pale. There are dark black rings under his eyes and his vision seems to be shrouded.

 

A few feet part you from him when you leap and jump towards him with your sword raised; he doesn’t even flinch when he grabs your wrists and shoves you to the side midair. He pulls you sideways and releases his iron grip on your wrists after a second. He smashed you against the stairs and you feel a hot pain on your lower back as well as a dull crack on the back of your head.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You see Lexa leaping towards Isaac and you damn yourself; you should have seen that one coming. Of course they would use their knowledge of Clarke and Raven against you. They use your greatest strength and your worst weakness against you.

 

You raise your blade and leap; the arrow hits your dagger and shatters. You roll yourself off and jump back on your feet, just to leap back where you came from. You throw Ishmael, who is running straight towards Lexa off her feet. This makes Lexa’s way free, but leaves you in a vulnerable situation.

 

You land on Ishmael and catch your fall with your hands and your daggers. Ishmael adjusts quickly; she is on her back and pulls her arms back, the thin short swords crossed over her chest. You shove yourself upwards and take a short jump backwards; her crossed blades, she is pulling to the side now, only cut your armor and partly your neck.

 

You feel a thin line of blood running down your chest. You furrow and crouch. Something about her is odd. Something is wrong. Her face is smooth and even, she is still young. She looks not as mature as her twin brother, but you can make out several scars on her neck and shoulders as well as fresh cuts. She is pale and her skin feels cold.

 

You crouch and leap towards her again. Ishmael rolls backwards and up onto her feet and dodges your attack. Your blades meet, several times, it halls through the room like the sound of thunder. She is indeed good.

 

You give her space, you let her lead. You defend yourself, but you leave her in the security of having the upper hand. You need to find her weak spot.

 

You see her arms moving; she turns her blades fast and precisely, nearly unnaturally. She takes a step towards you and you take a risk; you sidestep and offer her your defenseless side. She reacts fast and attacks your side. You turn and shove the hilt of your dagger mid turn into her neck. You hit what you aimed for; her artery. Usually this causes a short disorientation and shock, followed by a few seconds of numbness.

 

She just ignores it. Ishmael turns and goes after you again. You furrow. Does she feel no pain?

 

You continue your dance and she is angrier than before. Her attacks grow faster, less lethal but harder to dodge. It takes you a few seconds until you see your next chance. You are walking backwards and her swings get stronger; she takes more time to prepare them. She bends her arms further and further backwards to put more force into her swings.

 

You wait a few seconds and take a side step again. This causes Ishmael to lose her rhythm and she bends her arms backwards simultaneously. You take a step towards her; the dagger in your left hand finds its way into her upper arm; you know that your blade slices her biceps. The blade enters on the side you are facing; it leaves her body on the other.

 

You loosen your grip on the dagger in your right hand; the blade starts to fall and you catch it again, so you are holding it as a defense weapon. You raise your arm and dodge the swing of her sword. Her blade gets stuck in the spike both your daggers have close to the hilt.

 

Her sword breaks. You smile and pull your arm further up. The hilt of your dagger cracks into her head, just over her ear. You hear her skin breaking. She doesn’t cry out, she doesn’t even express pain. There is nothing. You hear another crack. You know it’s the sound of a bone breaking.

 

You turn your head slightly and see Lexa laying on the ground on the stairs. There is blood on the floor. You feel nauseous for a second.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You tighten the grip on your sword again. You damn yourself for letting Isaac lure you into an attack. You should have known that they would use Clarke against you. You won’t let that happen again.

 

You blink a few times and while doing so, you push yourself up and walk backwards. Your eyes catch Ishmael; she is bleeding. There is a wound over her ear and a deep cut in her upper arm. You see Rayne looking at you. _Fight, sister._ Rayne nods and grabs Ishmael’s shoulders, shoves her forward and down and smashes her knee into Ishmael’s abdomen.

 

You focus on Isaac. He looks at you. He still does not move. You are on your feet again. You still feel the pain on your lower back. You cracked your hipbone. It hurts like hell, but you can still fight.

 

You crouch and start to move. It is useless to attack him directly. He is stronger than you are; he is a defensive fighter. He uses your attacks against you. You can’t get close and the second you are too far away his arrows will kill you. You circle him carefully.

 

“Lexa!”

 

You turn your head for half a second and see Rayne pointing towards her lower belly. It is a sign hidden in so many movements that no one but you could probably make it out. You circle Isaac and switch sides; you have the throne behind your back now, Ishmael and Rayne behind Isaac.

 

You look at him, past him. You see what Rayne needed to show you. Ishmael is pregnant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	29. Emo kwelnes laik oso uf (Their weakness is our strength)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of animals and/or animal attacks.  
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> We mention/describe the killing of humans/animals and/or torture and/or caused injuries and/or blood/gore.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.  
> We mention/describe genocide and/or slow and painful deaths.  
> We mention/describe the death of close family members to major characters and/or children.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Emo kwelnes laik oso uf (Their weakness is our strength)**

 

**Years ago, Polis**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

It was the first time you stood in front of a post as Heda. The warrior tied to it waited for your judgement. It is not like you had a real choice; your people have their traditions, their beliefs, their laws. You are here to fulfill them.

 

You knew that some of your traditions are too narrowed; you were called a visionary many times. You and your sister would bring the change, you would bring peace. Most of your people believed in you, praised you and would follow you anywhere.

 

But there were people doubting that two Hedas would do any good. It was too early to adjust the laws to justice.

 

“Lexa.” You turned and looked at Anya. “Frag em op.” _Kill him._

 

You turned and looked at your sister. Her face was without expression. She nodded. You saw a flicker of anger, a spark of sadness in her eyes. You deal with the politics, she deals with the humans.

 

You lowered your eyes before you turned to face the warrior. “Yu na frag op yungon hashta frag op emo nomon.” _You killed a child by killing his mother._ You took a step towards the warrior. “Ai tel op yu na wan op kom swis en tombom.” _I say you will die by blade and heart._

 

The uproar of the witnesses was not as bad as you expected it.

 

“Heda, frag em op kom Wamplei kom thauz kodon! You suda kot em op!” _Commander, kill him by a Death by thousand cuts! You must cut him!_

 

You turned and looked at the witnesses gathered around you. Rayne stood by your side and drew her daggers. “Osir ste Heda. Osir ste raitnes. Osir ste ridiyo.” _We are the Commander. We are the justice. We are the truth._ “En osir tel op emo na wan op kom swis en tombom.” _And we say he will die by blade and heart._

 

The crowd grew silent. You turned to face the warrior again. He knew that by your people’s traditions he should die by a thousand cuts. You are your people. You are the law. You are the justice. And you won’t let this man suffer because he fought for the right reasons.

 

The warrior looked at you with wide eyes. He lowered his head. “Mochof, ai Heda.” _Thank you, my Commander._ “Ste yuj.” _Stay strong._

 

You raised your sword, nodding towards him once. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” _Your fight is over._

 

You pierced his heart with your sword in one slow motion. He died within seconds. You refused to let him suffer wamplei kom thauz kodon. _Death by a thousand cuts._ He defended home and family. His village had been attacked. The woman he killed carried a child. He had no choice. Nonetheless, he took an innocent life. To refuse a child to be born was considered as a cruel act. A child is always innocent. And an unborn child never even got a chance.

 

You would have pardoned him. Back then, you had no choice and all you could do was to grant him a swift death.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Rayne starts to fight aggressively. You made out a possible weakness, you and Rayne do not have to talk about the plan. You are twins. You are best friends. You are sisters and bound to each other. You know each other.

 

You see Rayne going after Ishmael and you start to circle around Isaac again. You stay close enough so he can’t use his bow, you stay far enough for him not to be able to touch you. You do not attack. Not yet. You smile. You hear Anya’s voice.

 

_“Patience, Lexa. Patience.”_

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

Lexa knows. All you need to do now is to get Isaac’s attention for only a second. A second would be enough.

 

You used the past minutes to learn Ishmael. You know that she does not feel pain. You don’t know why; you just know that it is.

 

You can’t overcome her by inflicting physical pain, so you have to weaken her otherwise. You believe that she suffers hubris and narcissism. She is too prideful, too self-confident. And there is nothing more flawless than her and her legacy. You already killed two of her children. You will take her ability to breed more.

 

You change your stance; it’s time to fight back now. You go after Ishmael both handed and you do it fast and hard and without mercy or hesitation. You know she is a high fighter; she lacks practice to dodge low swings. Typical hubris.

 

You crouch and throw your swings upwards; she is forced to walk backwards. You can’t control her route; you can only make her move. You’re waiting for the right moment. Just as Lexa is.

 

**Today, capital of the Azgeda**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You followed the tracks; it wasn’t too hard. An army of that size can’t move without leaving a trail. Fae took over to lead the way; this is her land, she knows it well.

 

It didn’t take you too long to figure out that they are already attacking the capital. You changed your way to ride there without looking for the army. Lexa and Rayne will be at the front.

 

You see the smoke before you can make out the city gate. You hear Fae taking in a sharp breath. You look at her and you see pain in her eyes. You narrow your eyes and quicken your pace.

 

You pass the city gate and run into a group of warriors. “Set daun!” _Stay down!_ The warriors block your way.

 

“Ai laik Octavia kom Trikru, seken kom Heda Rayne. Gyon we!“ _I am Octavia of the Tree People and second to Commander Rayne! Out of our way!_

 

The warriors hesitate. You feel anger rising. “Ai chich op gyon we!” _I said out of our way!_

 

“Octavia.” Fae draws your attention to a warrior to your left. She is tall and mounted on a horse. You look at her and tilt your chin upwards. She approaches you.

 

“This horse… where did you get it?” Her voice is firm. She isn’t just a simple warrior.

 

“He was a gift from Heda Lexa.” You answer honestly.

 

The female warrior nods. “Let them pass. She is who she says. This steed is Shak’s brother.” She turns to look at the guards beside her. “You two, escort and protect them. They may move freely, as second to Heda Rayne you will follow her every order. Understood?”

 

The two guards flank your sides. You address the female warrior. “Who are you?”

 

She takes off her mask. “Akuna, kwin kom Stelkru. Lukot kom Heda Rayne en Heda Lexa en oso kwins.” _Akuna, Queen of the Horse People. Friend to Commander Rayne and Commander Lexa and our Queens._ “They are in the royal residence. My Guards will lead the way and ensure you may move freely.”

 

“We know the way, just make sure no one blocks our path.” Fae’s voice is firm. Akuna looks at her, and her eyes grow wide in realization.

 

“Sha, Kwin Fae kom Azgeda.” _Yes, Queen Fae of the Ice People._

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

Phobos and Deimos quicken their pace a few seconds before you hear the clashing of metal. You grab Raven’s hand and run after them. The wolves turn right into another corridor and follow it to a heavy door, which is ajar.

 

Deimos pushes it open further, Phobos leaps inside. You are only seconds behind the wolves. When you enter the hall, you can’t hold back. “Lexa!”

 

You see Rayne fighting a woman, you see Lexa circling a man. Lexa looks at you, shock in her eyes. The man looks at you and he starts grinning.

 

Rayne tries to keep the woman busy, but can’t keep herself from looking at Raven, who takes a step towards her, whispering. “Rayne…”

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

“Lexa!” You hear her voice and you feel your heart dropping. _No. NO!_ Why is she here? You turn and look at Clarke, her eyes full of worry and longing. Isaac sees her too. Before anything else is happening, he draws an arrow and aims at Clarke.

 

“NO!” You leap towards him and pull him to the ground; the arrow is already on its way. You look at Clarke and you feel dread. Isaac recovers fast, he grabs your throat and lifts you up while he rises again.

 

He smashes you head forward to the ground and kneels down over you. He presses your sword into your neck, drawing blood. His grip on your throat is iron.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You force Ishmael further away and slash her knee open before you turn and leap. The arrow Isaac released is impossible to catch; you try it anyway.

 

You feel nauseous when you see Raven shoving Clarke aside. It is Deimos who throws himself in its way. The wolf leaps and snaps. It looks like he catches a bee. When he lands on his feet, he holds the arrow in his fangs. He growls, bites down and splitters the arrow before he turns, shielding off Raven.

 

You halt, turn and smash into Ishmael. Her blades resting on your throat and pinned into your side you still.

 

“Move and you die.” Her voice is calm and cold.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You are scanning your surroundings. Rayne has a broken blade pressed into her side and another resting on her throat. If she moves, she will die. Clarke and Raven are in the room, shielded by Phobos and Deimos, but still in range if Isaac tries to kill them. You trust Deimos, but his chances to catch another arrow midair are not that good.

 

You have Isaac kneeling over you. You feel his fingers closing around your throat. You feel your own blade breaking the skin on the side of your neck.

 

All you love is in this room. All you despise in this room. You need a solution.

 

You close your eyes and try to breathe. You try to calm your heartbeat down. You give in to your instinct.

 

You turn your hip; it causes you a hot stinging pain. You sling your left leg over Isaac’s lower back and shove him off you to the left. It takes him the needed space to pierce your throat with your own sword.

 

At the same time, you move your hand down to your waist. You grab the dagger, which is still stuck in the ground. You turn around so you are on your belly, push yourself up and throw the blade towards your sister.

 

The dagger flies with a hissing sound. The blade cuts Rayne’s side and finds its destination in Ishmael’s abdomen. Isaac sees it and cries out for his twin. “Ishmael!”

 

You let yourself fall to the side; your knee burying into Isaac’s belly, you grab your sword by its blade. You feel the skin on your palm breaking. You ignore the pain.

 

You grab the blade as hard as you can and pull it out of Isaac’s grip. You throw it up into the air and catch it on its hilt again, pointing its tip over Isaac’s heart. “Yu na wan op nau, Isaac.” _You will die now Isaac._

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You see what’s happening, but your brain refuses to process it. You hear Ishmael’s broken blade breaking through Rayne’s ribcage. There is not more than two or three inches left of it, but it is still enough to devastate her lungs.

 

The second Rayne goes down to her knees, you run towards her. Phobos leaps past you, his fangs framing Ishmael’s face. You hear him tearing her face apart. You ignore the blood.

 

You kneel down beside Rayne. Raven holds her face and whispers to her, tears running down her cheeks. You examine the wound; the broken blade is still stuck in it. If you remove it, she may die. If you don’t remove it, she will die.

 

You remove your fur and grab one of Raven’s daggers. You cut your shirt and rip pieces off to press the fabric against the wound. “Come on Rayne, hold on. Please.”

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Fae*****

 

You hear shouting and speed up. You see the door; you follow the corridor. Anzu storms off past you and you jump onto his back. “Snap, Anzu.” _Faster, Anzu._

 

“Fae!” You hear Octavia calling behind you, but something tells you that you need to be faster. The bear storms into the hall and you feel your heart stop beating.

 

Rayne is laying on the floor, bleeding. Phobos paces with bloody fangs behind Raven and Clarke, who are trying to save her. Deimos crouches, a foot away, staring at Lexa. Lexa, kneeling over a man, her sword pointing to his heart, looks over to her sister.

 

You see her heart breaking.

 

You slide off Anzu’s back and start to run. You draw your sword and speed up.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

Seeing your sister like that is the worst thing you have ever witnessed. You always relied on her. You always knew, if you couldn’t, she would make the decisions for you. She would fight for you. She would kill for you. You got used to it.

 

It is this second you realize that you have allowed yourself to grow weak.

 

You see Anzu. You see Octavia. You see Fae. You do not see them at all. Your eyes are locked on your sister.

 

The sharp pain in your back pulls you out of your shock. Isaac smashed his fist into your lower back; he knows you broke your hipbone. He knows how to use this wound to break himself free.

 

You fall to your side, Isaac reclaims your sword. He is screaming. He raises his arm to plunge your blade through your chest.

 

You see his eyes growing wide. He stills.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You see Fae sliding down Anzu’s back. You see Lexa falling to her side and a man raising a sword to kill her. You draw your sword. You turn within your stride and throw your blade.

 

You look after it, in shock of what you just did. You don’t know how, but your sword hits its target. The blade enters the man’s ribcage straight and buries itself to the edge of its hilt.

 

You start to run again. Fae is already close enough to reach Lexa.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You see the blade puncturing Isaac’s chest. You turn your head and see Fae running towards you and Octavia staring at you with shock in her eyes.

 

Fae leaps, turns midair and her blade slices through Isaac’s throat. By the time Fae lands on her feet again, you are leaning onto your arms and take a few steps back.

 

Isaac’s head falls off his chest. The ‘tock’ of his skull hitting the ground silences everything else. His body falls over a few seconds later. The blood is building a puddle. You take your sword and look at Fae. You nod once at each other before you both turn to hurry over to Rayne.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You cup Rayne’s cheeks and stroke her tears away. She is in pain. She can’t breathe. You know Clarke is doing what she can to save her, but you also know it is nearly impossible by the amount of blood Rayne is losing.

 

You recognized Fae in your peripheral vision, and something inside you wanted to jump up and run towards her and hug her and kiss her and maybe kill her for obviously faking her own death.

 

But it is a light, short urge swallowed by your fear for Rayne.

 

Lexa and Fae are walking towards you. You see Phobos and Deimos laying on the ground a foot away, shaking in fear and crying out in pain. You see Octavia going down to her knees beside Clarke. You see Clarke, giving Octavia commands to apply pressure on Rayne’s wound.

 

You hear a ragged breathing.

 

You look up. You see Anzu’s eyes growing wide and rabid. He looks at you. No. He looks past you.

 

You grab the dagger on your side, turn and jump up.

 

God knows _how_ she is still standing and even moving, but she does. The skin of her face is mostly ripped off, she only has one eye left, and it is covered in blood. She has a deep wound in her arm, a dagger still stuck in her abdomen, a slash on her knee so deep you can see the bone. And she is still _walking._

 

Her sword in her good arm, raised over her head, she walks towards you. You take her view in. You do not feel fear. You do not feel pity. You do not feel remorse. You leap and bury your dagger, Rayne’s dagger, in her heart. You know the words. _Yu gonplei ste odon._ You chose to say your own. “Die and stay dead, bitch.” You turn the blade. Only the darker color of blood displays that she is choking on the red liquid.

 

You pull the blade out and step aside. Her body falls over. She twitches a few times and releases her last breath.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ the end:
> 
> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	30. Wor ste odon (The war is over)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ the beginning
> 
> Trigger warning & censor requests:
> 
> We mention/describe the death of humans and/or fights and/or caused injuries.  
> This chapter may be triggering people suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss.
> 
> If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

**Wor ste odon (The war is over)**

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Fae*****

 

Clarke examines Rayne’s wound and Lexa kneels beside you. “Clarke. Save her. I beg you.”

 

The blonde looks at Lexa, fear in her eyes. “The blade was poisoned, Lexa. Even if I can remove the blade without killing her, I can’t cure the poison. She is losing too much blood.”

 

Lexa’s eyes grow wide. “Fae is immune to the poison.”

 

You look at Lexa, and then you meet Clarke’s eyes. “I am immune. I suffer the symptoms, but not death.”

 

Clarke looks down at Rayne. “That’s a gamble. I have no time to check your blood types.” You see her swallowing. “If I don’t try, she will die anyway.” The blonde looks up at Raven. “I need the needles and the tubes.”

 

Raven takes off her backpack, opens it and hand Clarke little tubes with needles at the end, bandages and two bottles with a fluid inside.

 

“Octavia, keep the pressure up. Raven, moisten the cloth and disinfect her wound and arm.” Clarke turns towards you. “Fae, I need your blood.”

 

You furrow for a second. “What do you need me to do?”

 

“I will use your blood to keep her alive until I remove the blade. You are immune, maybe the transfusion will help her to fight the poison. I need your arm, lay down beside her.” You remove the furs so your arm is bare and position yourself beside Rayne.

 

Raven’s voice is hoarse. “Clarke, if her blood type doesn’t match-”

 

“I know Raven. Trust me, I know. I have no other choice. The poison will kill her within minutes.” Clarke grabs Raven’s hand. “I’ll do what I can.” Raven nods. Clarke applies a needle with a tube in your arm. It is a little sting, nothing bad.

 

You see your blood starting to leave your body and flowing through the tube into Rayne’s arm. You watch the process in fascination, hoping you are able to help her. A little while later you lose consciousness.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You secure the needles and check on Rayne’s pulse. It is stable, weak but stable. “Okay, everything from here on has to go fast.” You disinfect your hands with alcohol out of the bottle. Octavia is still applying pressure to the wound, Raven is holding a needle and string ready for you. “I will pull the blade out, check for damage on her lungs and organs, then we close the wound.” You take a deep breath. “I need your help, okay?”

 

Raven and Octavia nod. Lexa is holding Rayne’s hand, sitting on the ground between her and Fae. Lexa catches your eyes. “Save her, Clarke.”

 

You nod and focus on your task. You breathe in and concentrate. You grab the blade and pull. Rayne is unconscious but cramps in pain. Phobos and Deimos are howling and whimpering at the pain filled sounds leaving their masters throat.

 

When the broken blade leaves Rayne’s body, you throw it away and look into the wound. You pull her skin and flesh aside; it is not as bad as you expected. “Cloth.”

 

Raven hands you the cloth and you wipe the blood away. “Needle and string.” You hold your hand open and Raven places the requested items in your palm. You start to close the wound.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You hold Rayne’s hand in yours. Clarke removed the blade and closed the wound a day ago; her pulse and heartbeat are still weak. Fae gives her blood every six hours; Clarke checked the types and they are compatible.

 

“Nou yu bants ai, sis.” _Don’t leave me, sister._

 

“She won’t leave us, Lexa.” Raven is sitting beside you, one hand resting on Rayne’s face, the other around your shoulders. “I will watch over her. You should sleep.” Raven lifts the fur.

 

You smile at her. “Mochof, Raven.” You lay down beside your sister and falls asleep within seconds.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You are pacing through the building. Fae is okay, she is tired and weak hence the blood she is giving Rayne, but she is okay. Rayne will be okay. You are sure of that. Lexa is more or less constantly attached to her sister, just as Raven.

 

You patrol the building to have something to do. You are not a big fan of sitting around, doing nothing and waiting for things to happen. Clarke works the same way.

 

You admire Clarke for her strength; she spent the last day taking over the duties of the Commander. She organized a lazaret for the wounded within the city, locked the few survivors of the Sheigedakru up for execution and gathered the survivors of the Azgeda. There are less than 150.

 

The Sheigedakru killed most of the women and children; what’s left are the warriors, the hunters and the elders. You feel sorry for Fae. Her people are doomed and shattered, just like the Sky People.

 

You finish your round, everything is safe. “Let’s go back, boys.” Phobos and Deimos turn and flank you on your way back. You pass the door Lexa forbid anyone to enter. You trust her, but you are curious. You still in front of it. You really want to know what is in there.

 

When you lift your hand to the handle, Phobos nudges your side. You look at him and laugh. He is giving you shit. “Okay, okay. I will obey.” You return to the section of the residence where you occupied two rooms. You throw a look into the room where Rayne is recovering; you see Lexa sleeping beside her sister.

 

You lean to the doorframe and take the view in. Raven looks up and meets your eyes. “Hey Octavia.”

 

“Hey Raven. How are they doing?”

 

Raven shrugs. “I guess okay. Lexa is worried to death. I think she feels guilty.” She looks down to her love. “No change with Rayne. Clarke says she is stable, but she just won’t wake up.”

 

You feel tears in your eyes. “She will be okay, Raven.” You feel Deimos nudging your back. You open the door a little more and the wolf trots inside and curls up on the floor beside the bed. “I leave you the little one here. Phobos and I will check up on Fae and Clarke.”

 

“Okay. Thank you, Octavia.” You turn when Raven calls you again. “Octavia?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I am so glad Fae is still alive. And I am really glad that you are back with us. I missed you.”

 

You take a deep breath. “I missed you too, Raven.” You cross the hall and open the door on the opposite side. Fae is sitting on her furs, Clarke beside her. You tilt your head. “Are you two okay?”

 

They look at you, a weak smile on their lips. “As good as we can be.”

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You pat on the furs between you and Fae and Octavia sits down; Phobos makes himself comfortable on the floor beside a snoring Anzu.

 

“Fae and I were talking about how to proceed.” You eye Fae. “There are not many survivors, no women and no children. The Azgeda can’t survive on their own.”

 

Octavia bows her head and takes Fae’s hand in hers. “I am so sorry.”

 

Fae shakes her head. “It is how it is. I need to make sure those who survived have a future.” She leans her head back. She is fighting tears.

 

You clear your throat. “As you know, I am acting as Heda until Lexa and Rayne are recovered.” Octavia nods. “I would like to have your opinion.”

 

Octavia tilts her head to the side. “Okay. Shoot.”

 

“The survivors of the Azgeda are mainly warriors and hunters. The survivors of the Ark are mostly… not that.” You smile. “I thought about migrating the Azgeda and the Skaikru. They could help each other out. Each side provides what the other is missing.”

 

You see Octavia’s eyes grow wide. “So you want to take the Azgeda back to the Village of the Ark and migrate them?”

 

You nod. “Together we would reach just over three hundred people.”

 

Octavia looks at Fae, and Fae smiles, cupping Octavia’s cheek. “It is a reasonable option, and if it is up to me, a really good one. It would secure the survival of my people… and I could stay with you.”

 

You see Octavia sitting in front of you with her mouth open and her eyes wide. You knew she was afraid to lose Fae again. You knew she was anxious and frustrated and scared, and as sad as all of this is, it gives you the option to at least make her happy.

 

You lean over, kiss her cheek and wrap your arms around her. “I take that as a ‘Good work, Heda Clarke. I say it’s a brilliant plan.’” Octavia nods and hugs you back. “Fine then. I will inform the leaders and send a rider to the Village of the Ark. And I need to change Lexa’s and Rayne’s bandages.”

 

You lean back and look at Octavia and Fae. “I will leave you two alone for a while.” You smile and leave with Phobos. You close the door behind you and sigh. Being Heda is a hard job.

 

You walk the few steps over and enter the room, Phobos walks ahead and plops beside his brother on the floor. Raven is finally sleeping; you are glad for that. Lexa is sitting beside her sister, covering Raven with a fur. You walk over and kiss her forehead.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa turns her head and looks at you. “How are you?”

 

You smile. “In need of a vacation.” You bend down and kiss her. “How are you? How is your hand?” You hold her hand already in yours and start to remove the bandages.

 

“Hurts.” Lexa is already used to the procedure. As soon as the stitches are visible, you clean it, Lexa stretches it a bit and you check on the feeling. Lexa cut her whole palm open to the bone. “Tell me about your day, Clarke.”

 

You smile while you apply new bandages. “I visited the survivors. They are as okay as they can be. The Sheigeda warriors are still locked up and I sent the other clans back home with the exception of Mahana and Akuna.”

 

Lexa nods. “You are doing well, Clarke.”

 

You laugh. “Let’s see if you still think so when I tell you what I planned with Fae.”

 

“Tell me.” You look at her and see a slight smile on her lips. She scoots a little closer and places her head on your shoulder.

 

“I want to take the Azgeda back home and migrate them with the Skaikru.” Lexa stays silent for a while.

 

She lifts her head. “That’s brilliant. The only problem I see is Abby.”

 

You shoot Lexa a look. “I can handle her. Help me with Rayne’s bandages?” Lexa nods.

 

You talk for a few hours and go to sleep early. You are tired and worn out; keeping the aftermath of a war under control is much more exhausting than the war itself. You wonder how Lexa managed to do this over years.

 

A knock at the door wakes you and you open your eyes. The sun is about to rise. “Heda?”

 

Mahana. You sit up slowly and walk over to the door. You close it behind you and look at the queen of the Kripakru. “What is it, Mahana?”

 

She bows. “We have a problem.”

 

“And what is that problem?” You cross your arms.

 

Mahana swallows. “Children.” You shoot her a questioning look. “Akuna and I found three children hiding in a storage building. They are marked. They are not Azgeda. I asked my personal guard to hide them away. I am sure people will riot if they find out the Sheigedakru are not… entirely wiped out.”

 

You furrow. “Children of what age?”

 

“Two toddlers, girls, I guess around a year. And a four year old boy. They seem to be healthy, Akuna is bathing and dressing them right now.”

 

You furrow. They are young, to hide the toddlers away won’t be a problem. The four year old could become one. You look at Mahana. “Meet us for breakfast. Bring the children and make sure no one knows what you found and those who know keep it to themselves.”

 

Mahana nods. “It will happen as ordered.” With your nod, the queen of the Kripakru bows and leaves to fulfill her task. You look after her.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You hold the fur up when Clarke comes back inside. “Who was it?” She lays down, you feel her shaking her head. “Clarke. Are you well?”

 

She cuddles close. “Yes. I am just… I want to go home, Lexa.”

 

You wrap your arms around her and hold her as close as possible. You kiss her forehead and rest your lips a while on her skin. “We will leave within this week, Clarke.”

 

“Ai sis.” _My sister._

 

You jump up, together with Clarke, and hurry over to Rayne’s bed. You fall down to your knees in front of her sitting form. “Ai ste hir, ai sis.” _I am here, my sister._

 

Raven is curled into Rayne’s form; the movements of her back giving away that she is crying. Rayne has one arm slung around her, rubbing her shoulder while Raven buries her face in her side. “Yo ste os?” _Are you all okay?_

 

You nod. “Sha, ai sis.” _Yes, my sister._ “Osir ste os.” _We are all okay._ You hold Rayne’s hand and fill her in while Clarke is checking her up. Rayne tells her several times that it is not necessary. Clarke does it anyway; she is already used to being Heda and not to accept a ‘no’.

 

It takes only a few minutes before you hear Octavia. “May we enter? Anzu is nervous and wants in.”

 

You smile. “Come in.” The door opens and Anzu trots inside and puts his head on the edge of the furs. Fae and Octavia enter hand in hand; both their eyes lighten up as they spot your sister.

 

It has been a long while since all six of you were together. You spend an hour just talking before you wash yourselves and get dressed to attend breakfast.

 

You enter the hall, Clarke’s hand in yours, your fingers laced. “Lexa, I will be right back. I forgot something.” She kisses your cheek and hurries back.

 

You are seated and eating when Clarke returns, Raven’s backpack in her hands. You furrow. “Is someone wounded?”

 

Clarke shakes her head. “I hope not.”

 

It is that moment Mahana, Akuna and two guards enter the hall. They stop and bow once, their eyes on Clarke, who bends down to kiss your head. You furrow. “What is going on, Clarke?”

 

“Please, Lexa. Just be open minded?” You nod and watch Clarke smiling at you, turning and walking over to Mahana and her guards. “Where are they?”

 

“Right here.” Mahana steps aside, freeing your view. Akuna is holding a bundle in her hand; beside her is a little boy. One of the guards also holds a bundle in his arms.

 

You rise. “Are they okay?”

 

Clarke raises her hand. “They look okay, Lexa. I will check on them now.” You sit down again. “Mahana and Akuna found them in a storage building.” She looks at you. “They are not Azgeda.”

 

You expected yourself to feel anger. You don’t. You look over to your sister; she nods. “Clarke, ai sis yu op.” _Clarke, I help you._ Rayne rises and joins Clarke. Each of them examining one of the bundles. You see little hands and feet, and you hear the toddlers babbling.

 

You look over to Fae and Octavia; Fae is, as always, calm. Octavia seems to be unsure what to do. “Octavia, are you well?”

 

She looks at you. “Yes. I just worry. They are only children.” Octavia grabs a few fruits and starts to mash them. You smile, as Fae does.

 

“Lexa.” You rise and walk over to Clarke. “They seem to be healthy. But they are all marked as Sheigedakru.” Clarke shows you the half-finished red marks on their necks. “We need to cover those up.”

 

You take the hand of the little girl in Clarke’s arms into your own. “I will ask Nyko to do the marks. Trigedakru marks are always black, it will cover the red.”

 

Clarke leans into you. “I feel bad for getting babies marked. But if anyone sees those marks who is not as… open minded...”

 

“I know, Clarke. Those are mere children. As long as we are Heda” you look at your sister, she nods “no innocent child will come to harm.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ the end:
> 
> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	31. Author's Note - We love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can contact us:
> 
> lilianafox.tumblr.com  
> nickolefox.tumblr.com

Dear readers,

 

we want to give you a few words in regards to the episode of the100 ‚thirteen‘ which aired last Thursday.

 

If you haven’t watched that episode and if you are emotionally attached – please don’t watch it. There are already reports of people committing suicide because of it.

 

First of all:

 

We love you, every one of you. We feel with you and we will work to make up, even a little, for what happened. You are not alone. If you feel alone, please don’t hesitate to contact us to talk. You don’t need to give us personal information unless you wish to. If you just need someone to talk to – we are here.

 

Second of all:

 

We do not hold any grudge against the cast of the100. We appreciate the work of Eliza Taylor and Alycia Debnam-Carey as well as Marie Avgeropoulos, Lindsey Morgan, Adina Porter and every other member of the cast to give us a great performance and many hours of joy and peace.

 

We understand that Alycia Debnam-Carey had to make a choice and was more or less given no option than to ‘leave’ the show. We thank her for her wonderful work and wish her only the best.

 

We do NOT appreciate how Jason wrote off her character ‘Lexa’ from the show.

 

It is public that he said ‘he didn’t know how much this would affect the fandom’. We call bullshit on that. He of all people knew.

 

In fact, it is impossible to make everyone happy. He had the choice to make Bellarker’s (hello there) happy, or to make the Clexa’s happy. He decided to shatter us all. And I call all Bellarker’s (and I can’t believe I am saying this right now) and Clexa’s US. We all got heartbroken and shattered just because of ONE MAN being it the right place to make all the wrong decisions.

 

I for myself decided that I won’t give him what he needs and I will stop watching the100. My wife will keep watching it, but not live.

 

We both are and will always be part of the Clexa fandom and the community. We feel with you.

 

Life has been rough on us, which is why we didn’t find the time to write much lately. It will get better.

 

‘Oso Gonplei nou ste Odon’ will be finished, I will start writing on it again tomorrow and after I finished it, I will start on an alternate ending and further story to the third season of the100.

 

‘Understanding’ will be finished, my wife will start on it as soon as possible, please bear with us here.

 

‘There is Always Something’ will be laid on ice for a while, the plot of the story may be too much for some of our readers and we decided to turn it down until we will be able to post the WHOLE story at once, so you won’t suffer.

 

We thank all of you for your ongoing support, your comments and we thank all of you for simply being who you are. Hang in there, it will get better. You are not alone, and you are loved and you will always have the community and the fandom you belong to. You are part of this as we are, and we are happy and grateful for every one of you.

 

We repeat this again – if you feel the need to talk, if you need some comfort, please don’t give up and contact us. We are not the only ones to offer support – you are not alone.

 

With all the love we got

 

Nickole & Liliana

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can contact us:
> 
> lilianafox.tumblr.com  
> nickolefox.tumblr.com


	32. Emo yungon laik oso yungon (Their children are our children)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ste yuj!

**Emo yungon laik oso yungon (Their children are our children)**

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Octavia*****

 

You keep mashing fruits, you honestly don’t know what you are doing. “Clarke, give them to me.”

 

Clarke looks at you with a raised eyebrow. You decide to not be offended. This time. She hands you the little bundle and you take the child into your arms. You hold the little girl securely against you with your left arm.

 

You stroke over the little girls cheek with your fingers. “Hungry, little one?” You grab a spoon and bring some of the mashed fruits to the girl’s mouth, who opens it and swallows nearly the whole spoon. “Okay, you are hungry.” You hurry to feed her faster. It seems like it can’t be fast enough.

  
“She is a lot like you, Octavia.” You throw Raven a look.

 

“Yeah, she will become a great warrior and kick your ass.” You stick your tongue out at your friend and press the little girl a little closer to your chest.

 

Fae leans in and places her head on your shoulder, kisses your neck and looks at the girl. “I guess we keep her.”

 

You turn slowly to look at Fae. You open your mouth and close it again. There are a million thoughts in your head. You imagined your life in a million different ways. Not one of them was being a mom.

 

Fae smiles. “You can’t say no to me, and I want to keep her.”

 

You drop your head. Internally you are dancing in joy.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Raven*****

 

You look at Octavia, Fae and their little girl in awe. You have your head resting on your hands and sigh. Rayne sits down beside you and you turn to look at her. Your jaw drops.

 

Rayne holds the girl close, whispers to her and lets the baby suck on her finger. “Em ste enti.” _She is hungry._ Fae places the plate with the mashed fruits in front of Rayne, who begins to feed the girl.

 

You don’t know why, but it’s really sexy. “She looks good on you.”

 

Rayne shoots you a side look. “Yu set klin?” _Are you sure?_

 

You look at Octavia and sigh. “Why not? I will teach her the cool stuff.” You lean in and kiss first Rayne and then the little girl.

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You turn towards Mahana, Akuna and the guard. “Send for Nyko. We have to take care of the marks before anyone else comes to knowledge they shouldn’t have.” They bow and leave.

 

You turn slightly and look at the boy. “Chit yu tag in?” _What is your name?_ He looks at you without any other reaction.

  
Clarke appears at your side and kneels down. “Do you have a name?” The child looks up at her. He shakes his head. You look at Clarke, she shrugs. “Are those your sisters?” She offers her hand to the child. He nods. “Can I look at you closer to make sure you are okay?” The boy nods again.

 

You tilt your head and look at her, examining the boy slowly and carefully. She explains every one of her moves. “I need you to take that off.” She tucks at the boy’s shirt. He does as he is asked.

 

He has an angry scar on his belly, along with a few bruises. “Where did you get those?” The boy lowers his head and points over to his sisters.

 

You understand. “You protected them?” The boy nods.

 

Clarke applies an ointment to his bruises and covers them with bandages. “Are you hungry?” He nods, again. This time vigorously. You smile and Clarke laughs. She takes him into her arms and sits back at the table again. She keeps him on her lap.

 

You watch her for a few minutes, eating with the boy on her lap. You let your view wander around; you see your sister and Raven, Fae and Octavia. You feel content. There is a smile growing on your lips and you are sure it will stay there. “Clarke.”

 

She looks at you, a light blush on her cheeks, her eyes wide. “Yes, Lexa?”

 

You smile wider. “He needs a name.”

 

Clarke blushes a little more. “I guess so. I can’t imagine that he has no name. Maybe he just can’t understand us.”

 

“They are named after their first trials.” Fae’s voice is only a whisper. “He understands. He speaks English. He was sincere when he shook his head to your question if he has a name.”

 

You begin to understand. “Then we should find a name fitting for a big brother protecting his sisters.”

 

Clarke looks at you, her expression goes soft. “Alexander.” You tilt your head. “Lexa is a short form of Alexandria, and it means ‘protector’ or ‘defender’. So he would have his mom’s name and it would fit for a big brother protecting his sisters.”

 

You like the idea and look at the boy, who is eying you curiously. “Would you like this name, little one?” The boy nods. “Then your name shall be Alexander.” The boy faces you while chewing. You guess he is smiling.

 

“Well, if we are giving them names now, we need some good ideas here.” Raven is playing with the little girl’s hands. “What do you think about Rae?” Raven looks at your sister and smiles at her nod.

 

Fae has her head still resting on Octavia’s shoulder. “So it is us then, my love.” She places a kiss on her neck. “Do you wish her to have a warrior’s name?”

 

Octavia tilts her head and kisses Fae on her temple. “She will be free to choose whatever she wants to be. I will not force her into a role or burden her with expectations. Choose something you like, Fae.”

 

The door opens and Nyko enters. “Heda.” _Commander._ He walks towards you and stills a few steps away, his eyes on the children.

 

You rise and greet him. “Nyko, we need to cover those marks. No one has to ever get knowledge of their existence.” The healer nods. “You can use our room. Ai sis?”

 

“Ai na shil em op.” _I will guard them._

 

You nod. “We have to take care of a few things. I would like to leave tomorrow.”

 

**Today, Residence of the Azgeda Royalty**

 

*****Fae*****

 

Lexa approaches you after you left the children with Nyko and Clarke to take care of the marks. “Fae, we need to talk. Octavia, join us.” You nod and follow her, your fingers laced with Octavia’s. You wander for a while in silence through the residence. You feel a knot in your stomach and a chill down your spine you are unable to shake. Lexa halts before the door to your former room.

 

“Heda…” _Commander._ Octavia’s voice is steady, but you hear her discomfort.

 

“Fae.” Lexa addresses you with pain in her eyes. “Queen Nia never received a proper ceremony.” You look at Lexa and it feels like eternity until understanding is filling you.

 

“She is in there.” It is no question. You know it.

 

Lexa nods. “I will not leave before we have released her spirit.” She takes a step towards you and rests her hand on your shoulder. It is a soft touch. “She was, after all, your mother and I will not refuse you your farewell.” Lexa lowers her eyes. “Though I think it will be better for you not to see her.”

 

You nod. You feel suffocated. Octavia squeezes your hand, you feel unable to react; when Octavia pulls you into her arms and holds you close and securely in her embrace, you sob and she strokes your head before she speaks up for you. “A private pyre tonight.”

 

You don’t look at Lexa, but you know she lowers her eyes and nods once before she turns to have everything prepared. You wish you could just crawl inside Octavia and hide there. She pulls you softly along and you walk, not because you choose to; it’s like a natural instinct to stay by her side.

 

Octavia guides you back to your bedroom and sits you down before she lays onto the bed and pulls you down with her. Her arms are constantly around you. She isn’t saying anything; there is nothing to say. All she can do is spend you comfort. After what feels like hours, you shift and place your head on her chest. You listen to her heartbeat and close your eyes.

 

“She was a kind and loving mother, Octavia. It may sound strange, but I loved her so much. I still do.” Octavia places a kiss on top of your head. Your mind is filled with memories of Nia playing with you, of the day she handed you over a bear cub, telling you that his name was Anzu and that his mother died and you are now responsible to take care of him.

 

Your mind is slowly flowing through memories of you sitting on her lap, her arms around you, explaining to you that no matter how cruel the world is, there is always good. And that no matter what happens, you always have a choice.

 

The day your father died in a purposeless war, you mother died with him. She had been a kind heart, but everyone has a breaking point. What was left of her was bitterness and hate. You never stopped loving her, though she broke your heart over and over again. You feel your resolve hardening.

 

“Octavia? Fae?”

 

Octavia clears her throat. “Yes?”

 

Raven opens the door and she takes a step inside. “We are ready.” You rise and wipe away the stains of the tears.

 

Octavia cups your cheeks and kisses you softly before she rises and offers you her hand. You take it and walk to the field behind the residence. Lexa is standing beside a pyre. When you approach, she offers to leave to give you privacy. You shake your head. “I want my family with me.” Lexa nods.

 

You are standing in front of the pyre with the torch in your hand. Again, you shuffle through your memories of your mother. You hear your family behind you. You hear Raven and Rayne, you hear the soft breathing of a baby. You hear Clarke and Lexa, the sound of little feet shuffling through snow. You feel Octavia right beside you. She is holding the little girl you are yet to name. A slight smile tucks at your lips.

 

You turn and look around. You are surrounded by your family. You are surrounded by those you trust most. You are surrounded by those you love and whom love you. You close your eyes and breathe in.

 

You turn back, take a step forward and light the pyre. The flames fight the moist wood and flicker in blue and green and red. “The woman you all got to know as Queen Nia of the Azgeda wasn’t my mother anymore. My mother died years ago. She was broken and shattered the day she lost her husband. She gave in to despair and sorrow, which led her to hatred and a frozen heart. She chose not to be my mother anymore.”

 

You train your eyes on Octavia and the baby in her arms. You fully turn and outstretch your hands to take the little girl into your embrace. She is looking at you with curious eyes, so deep you swear you see a whole universe in them. “On this day, I promise you that I will never leave your side willingly. I will always be there for you, guide and guard you, protect and love you my sweet.” You level your eyes at Octavia. “Faith.”

 

Octavia has her arm around your waist, holding one of the girl’s hands with her other. She looks at you, smiling. “I like it.” She trains her eyes on her daughter. “Faith.” She places a kiss on the girl’s forehead, which elicits a laugh out of her.

 

**Today, border of the Azgeda territory**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You have your arms around Raven’s waist and your head resting on her shoulder. She is playing with Rae’s fingers. You do not need to hold onto Mars’ reins, he is aware of the precious treasures he is carrying and he walks slowly and steadily. Octavia and Fae are a little behind you and you hear them giggling. Your sister and Clarke are ahead, Alexander sitting with them on Shak, listening intently to what Lexa explains to him.

 

You are lost in thought when Raven gets you back to her with her hand on your cheek. “I need to refill the canteen. There is a river close.” You nod and Mars turns to leave the convoy.

 

“Could you take ours too?” Octavia holds her canteen out and you take it while passing her.

 

“Sha.” You smile at her and it takes her a second to adapt and smile back. You hold a laugh back. Mars trots slowly down to the river and halts; you dismount with the canteens in your hands and kneel down to refill them.

 

Deimos and Phobos are on each side of you, their ears propped up and scanning the area dutifully. The wolves already adapt to the children around; they are on high alert at all times. When you are done, you take a few sips of the biting cold water and rise to mount Mars again. You hesitate for a second and enjoy the view of Raven and Rae.

 

Raven raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

 

You shrug. “You’re beautiful.” You sit behind her again, the canteens under your coat to warm the water up, before you return to the convoy. “We will be home in a few days. Is there something you wish?”

 

Raven leans back against you. “Just a normal life, without war and politics. Just you, me, Rae and our family. But I guess that’s not possible when your wife is Heda.” _Commander._

 

You feel yourself tensing. _‘Your wife.’_ Yes, your wife. Your wife, your daughter. Your family. Your life.

 

**Weeks later, Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

The fire crackles in front of you and you smile looking at your son, playing with his sisters. You squeeze Clarke’s hand and remember your homecoming.

 

You felt the air warming up with every step Shak took, bringing you closer to Ton TC. _Home._ You have spent most of your life within the territory of the alliance and Polis, but there is nowhere you’re more comfortable than here. You are a child of the forest, you need the scent of grass and trees and you need the songs of the birds and the fresh air of thick woods and moss. _You are home._

 

There is no threat left, the alliance is stable. The clans are interacting more and more without you playing ambassador for all of them.

 

Only a few days after your arrival you got notice that the Floukru and the Skaikru worked out a trading agreement for food and medical supplies. The news spread fast and only within a few weeks Abby was teaching healers of six different clans her knowledge in exchange for ore, weapons, food, leather and lessons for her people in surviving and building skills.

 

“Ai sis.” _My sister._ You turn your head and look at Rayne. You see in her eyes that she, as always, shares your thoughts. You nod, kiss Clarke on her forehead and rise, your sister by your side. You walk towards the stalls where Indra is talking with Octavia while tending to the horses.

 

“Time will come, Octavia. You need to be prepared.”

 

“Sha, Indra.”

 

A smile is tucking at your lips. You knew that, eventually, Octavia and Indra would find their way back together. Indra wasn’t much different when she was younger. “Indra, masta ai op.” _Indra, follow me._ The leader of the Trikru nods and passes Octavia, nodding at her once and patting her shoulder. You see Octavia smiling.

 

You settle at the border to the forest, Indra takes a seat on a tree trunk beside the two of you. “Sha, Heda?” _Yes, Commander?_

 

“It is time, Indra.”

 

Your general smiles and nods. “Sha, Heda. I will head out within the hour and have the leaders waiting for your arrival in Polis within a week.”

 

“I want to have your opinion, Indra. You know that we honor your advice.” Indra leans back a bit, her body language relaxed. She looks at you and your sister for a long while before she takes a deep breath.

 

“May I speak freely?”

 

Rayne nods, as do you. “Beja, Indra.” _Please, Indra._

 

Indra looks at you. “As we already spoke a while ago, I had a hand in raising the two of you. You are in many ways more than my Hedas and my dear friends.” She looks over to Rayne. “You are my family, and even if it may seem overbearing, I look at the two of you and I feel like a proud mother. You sacrificed everything to keep your people safe, build an alliance, bring and keep the peace.”

 

Indra then rises and kneels before you and your sister. “You fought your fight, you both bear the scars. It is enough now.” Indra places a hand on each on of yours and your sisters. “Anya would tell you the same thing I will tell you now. I am proud of the both of you. And no matter what, I will always be by and on your side.”

 

Rayne squeezes Indra’s hand. “Mochof.” _Thank you._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	33. Ai laik yu gona, ai laik yu houmon, ai laik yu sonraun (I am your warrior, I am your wife, I am your life)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,
> 
> it has been a while. 
> 
> In fact, I got a new job, married my beautiful wife and life is going back to normal. I had a long discussion with myself how to end this, and it has to end at some point. The last chapter is rather short, and I would say I am sorry - but I am not. It feels right.
> 
> I took you with me on a journey, and I decided to leave the end happy and in the most possible way open. I never wanted to hurt Clarke or Lexa or Rayne and Raven, and definetely not Octavia and Fae. I love all of them dearly and I hope you forgive me the long wait and the way I decided to end it. 
> 
> For all I can say - thank you. Thank all of you for staying with me and all the support. Your kindness will not be forgotten.
> 
> To give you some good news - as I mentioned I finally married my beautiful wife and things are calming down to a point where we will be able to focus on Understanding. We won't leave you hanging with unfinished stories. As always, we ask and appreciate your thoughts.
> 
> I love you all!
> 
> Liliana
> 
> PS: In case someone is interested in the process I added the notes (sorry for not correcting typos, lol).

**Ai laik yu gona, ai laik yu houmon, ai laik yu sonraun (I am your warrior, I am your wife, I am your life)**

 

**A week later, Polis**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You enter the room with Rayne beside you. You are in full armor and war paint. The leaders and ambassadors of the now again twelve clans rise and kneel until you and Rayne sit down. Indra is to your right, standing with Octavia. They represent the leader and ambassador of the Trikru.

 

Rayne released Octavia from her duties as her second so she could become Indra’s second again, learning how to lead the Trikru. The day Indra will step down, Octavia will be their leader. Rayne still trains her, but it is by now far more than duty; it is friendship and family.

 

It takes you about an hour to present your proposal to your generals.

 

You and Rayne will keep your titles. You will help to rule your people and you will return to Polis if your people need you in times of war as well as for celebrations and the welcoming of new leaders.

 

In times of peace, a council with representatives of all twelve clans will keep residence in Polis and look after regular and daily political business.

 

The vote is clear. Eight of the twelve generals accept your proposal. After another few hours, all twelve agree.

 

Akuna and Mahana are, besides Indra and Octavia, are the first ones to congratulate you and your sister. After them, Abby and Kane approach the two of you. They both bow, as it is common, before they speak.

 

Abby offers you her hand. “Thank you, Commander.” You clasp your arm with hers. “I will see you at the ceremony tonight.” A slight smile tucks at her lips. It is not a question; it is a statement.

 

You smile. “Yes.”

 

**Today, Polis**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

The sun is setting and you walk along the main street towards the spring close to the city center. You are surrounded by people, all of them bowing their heads as you walk past them. You see the spring at the end of the road bathed in the light of fires and torches.

 

Lexa is standing there in her finest armor, flanked by Rayne and Fae. Octavia and Raven are on either side of you.

You hear a woman singing, you see your mother crying in your peripheral vision. You see different people, from different clans, all lowering their heads when you walk past them. You see all of this, but your focus is on Lexa.

 

The cheers erupting from the hundreds of people witnessing your joining ceremony are pulling you back into reality. You kiss Lexa and open your arms to embrace Alexander. Mahana and Akuna are giving Rae and Faith to their mothers, and at the end of the day, you are family by law.

 

**A year later, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Rayne*****

 

You watch the sun rising over the lake while you start your training. Every now and then you look over to Raven and Rae. You smile when you see your wife and daughter smiling and laughing and you are kind of glad that Raven evolved to a morning person. Not that she had a choice; Rae was not one for much sleep.

 

It is easier now that she is walking and running around; she actually tires herself out to finally sleep through the nights.

 

Raven is still working on a ‘blind’, as she calls it, to cover the windows to your house in case of bad weather or the simple need of privacy. You didn’t argue with her, you learned by now that she was raised with a different behavior about sex than you were. You see Rae handing her mother different tools, and you feel a little strange with the fact that your two-year-old daughter knows more about what her mother is doing than you do.

 

You feel a little startled when you turn and see Octavia beside you. You didn’t hear her approach. She smiles. You do too. You continue your training with Octavia, and only a few minutes later Lexa joins you with Alexander. He wields a staff and imitates the three of you as well as he can.

 

**A year later, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Clarke*****

 

You sit in the grass and watch your son training. You are proud of him; he will be a great warrior. You just hope he never needs to fight or endure a war. Fae sits beside you, braiding Faith’s hair.

 

“What are you thinking about, Clarke?” her voice is soft and low, and she doesn’t take her eyes off her daughter’s mane.

 

You relax a bit, before you answer smiling. “I just hope that our children will live a life in peace.”

 

“Lexa and Rayne brought peace, Clarke. It is stable and the people are grateful for that.” Fae finishes the last braid, kisses her daughter’s forehead and sends her off to play with Phobos and Deimos. “A warrior does not worry-“

 

“-about things they can’t change.” Octavia finishes the sentence, before she bends down to kiss Fae. “What’s wrong, Clarke?”

 

You laugh and shake your head. “Nothing, oh wise Octavia. Just lost in thought.”

 

“About a future which will never happen?” Lexa asks. “I will not allow anything to disturb the peace. Do not worry, Clarke.” Lexa sits down beside you and you hand her breakfast.

 

The six of you eat, sitting side by side, bathed in the light of the morning sun and the fresh breeze with a breathtaking look over the lake and forest.

 

You laugh from time to time, watching Rae riding on Deimos, Alexander playing fetch with Anzu and Faith force-cuddling Phobos, who accepts it with only minor complaining. You know he would kill anyone laying hand on her.

 

**A year later, forest south of Ton DC**

 

*****Lexa*****

 

You ensured peace. You forged an alliance to keep the peace stable. You nominated a council to ensure the twelve clans are living in health and freedom.

 

You married the woman of your dreams. You build homes with your family and you spend every day with them. You watch your children growing and evolving.

 

You did the right thing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	34. Hodness laik uf (love is strength)

**The picture, which was drawn the night of the joining ceremony, is still hanging in the royal residence in Polis with a metal plate under it.**

 

Heda Lexa kom Trikru en em houmon Kwin Clarke kom Trikru, fou Kwin kom Skaikru en Pris Alexander kom Trikru.

Heda Rayne kom Trikru en em houmon Kwin Raven kom Trikru, fou kom Skaikru en Prisa Rae kom Trikru.

Octavia kom Trikru en em houmon Kwin Fae kom Trikru, fou Kwin kom Azgeda en Prisa Faith kom Trikru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


	35. Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case someone is interested the notes to this story.
> 
> The 'wife notes' are actually notes my wife left for me in the file... I read over it and I found it quite amusing.

**Notes**

___________________________________________________________________________

 

**@ the beginning**

 

Trigger warning & censor requests:

 

We mention/describe the **death of animals** and/or **animal attacks**.

We mention/describe the **death of humans** and/or **fights** and/or **caused injuries**.

We mention/describe the **killing of humans/animals** and/or **torture** and/or **caused injuries** and/or **blood/gore**.

We mention/describe **Necrophilia** and/or **abuse of corpses**.

We mention/describe the **death of close family members** **and/or major characters and/or children and/or animals.**

We mention/describe **incest, slavery and violence towards women and infants**.

We mention/describe **genocide** and/or **slow and painful deaths**.

We mention/describe the **death of close family members to major characters** and/or **children**.

We mention/describe **PTSD** and/or temporary **mental disorders** and/or **depression** and/or **self-destructive behavior** caused by **grief**.

We mention/describe **slight sexual** content.

We mention/describe **heavy sexual** content.

We mention/describe **sexual content which may not be declared decent by** **society** (we don’t give a shit).

This chapter may be triggering people **suffering anxiety and/or fear of loss**.

 

If this could harm you, please contact us. We will censor the chapter for you so you can enjoy it.

 

**@ the end:**

 

For questions and suggestions come and text us!

 

Nickolefox.tumblr.com

Lilianafox.tumblr.com

___________________________________________________________________________

 

**Characters**

 

Lexa, Heda

& Clarke, Kwin

Rayne, Heda – Lexa with black eyes

& Raven, Kwin

Octavia – second to Rayne

& Fae, Ice Princess/Queen – white/silver hair, grey/violet shimmering eyes

Nia, Ice Queen – dead

Phobos, great grey wolf – black with red/dark orange eyes, fighter/aggressive (Rayne)

Deimos, great grey wolf – white/grey with a blue and a green eye, protector/passive (Rayne)

Mars, Frisian – black, very big (Rayne)

Shak, Andalusian – white, big (Lexa)

“Buddy”, Andalusian – reddish brown, a little lighter and smaller but fast (Octavia)

Anzu, Ice Bear – very big, black/red eyes (Fae)

Bellamy – kill him (sacrifice in Mount Weather)

Lincoln – kill him (flashback)

Abby – maybe kill her too (bitch)

Kahn - Brother of Nia and uncle to Fae (killed by Rayne *yay*)

Indra – First to Anya

Echo – Trigedakru warrior and alchemist (origin Trikovakru, explained in ‘Understanding’)

Anya – Second to Indra, First to Lexa and Rayne (kind of a mom)

Ishmael & Isaac – Leaders of the Shaigedakru, twins

Mahana, Queen of the Kripakru (had an affair with Rayne, Relationship with Akuna)

Luna, Queen of the Floukru

Akuna, Queen of the Stelkru (Relationship with Mahana)

Kahl, Personal guard of Fae (maybe Father?)

___________________________________________________________________________

 

**Places**

 

Ton DC

Mount Weather

The Ark

Village of the Ark

Forest surrounding Ton DC, Mount Weather, The Ark, The Village of the Ark

Hot springs south of Ton DC

Polis

Azgeda Territory

Azgeda capital

___________________________________________________________________________

**Komgeda kom tua kru +1**

 

  1. Trigedakru – Tree People, Lexa & Rayne
  2. Azgedakru – Ice People, Nia / Fae
  3. Stelkru – Horse People, Akuna
  4. Floukru – Boat People, Luna
  5. Maungedakru – Mountain People
  6. Swiskru – Blade People
  7. Hompleikru – Hunt People
  8. Fisakru – Healing People
  9. Kripakru – Demon People, Mahana
  10. Tekkru – Technology People
  11. Sanskavakru – Sand People
  12. Sikru – Sea People



&

  1. Skaikru – Sky People, Clarke & Abby, later Kane and Abby



 

**Unknown:**

 

  1. Sheigedakru – Night People, Ishmael & Isaac



 

**Extinct:**

 

  1. Trikovakru – Shadow People, Rukh (mentioned in ‘Understanding’)
  2. Maunin Kru – Mountain Men of Mount Weather, Wallace Cage



___________________________________________________________________________

 

**Plot; 8 chapters, roughly 40k (5k per chapter)**

 

The Azgeda are attacking the borders of the clans. Lexa is concerned. She still tries

to get the Sky people to lay down their weapons and learn the ways of the Trigeda

Kru, but negotiations are hard.

Lexa and Clarke have to go to polis, but they can’t leave the Trigeda/Sky Kru without

a leader. She decides to call for Lina, her twin sister and the black half of the

commander.

 

In case a commander dies and his spirit moves on, there are always two

commanders. The spirit of the commander always choses a child/new born so the

clans need a leader until the “new” commander is ready to lead.

Lexa’s older twin is this commander she is the firstborn but refuses to be the white

(seen) commander because she prefers the art of healing. She is always out to take

care of the borders and report to Lexa. No one talks about the black (hidden)

commander, but everyone knows.

 

Rayne moves in with the Sky Kru to teach the ways of the Trigeda Kru (with her wolves

and Mars) as well as Echo (her former and again second) and Octavia (she claimed

from Indra for Octavia is too good to still learn from Indra (but still gets her sorry ass

handed over by Rayne)).

She trains her seconds and teaches the Sky Kru how to hunt, build and live. She is a

skilled warrior but also a great healer. Meets Raven, offers Raven to fix her fucked

leg, falls hardcore in love.

When time to leave, Abby refuses to let Raven go (who wants to leave with Rayne

because hardcore fallen in love and fixing fucked up leg, which happens to happen

because of massages once a day and Rayne beating the shit out of Abby (haha, bitch).

 

Rayne and Raven heading back to Ton DC, meeting up with Lexa and Clarke. Rayne has

to leave to bring a head of an Azgeda general that threatened in public to kill Clarke,

leaves Raven behind (because can’t take her with her with a still fucked up leg)

Deimos stays with Raven, Phobos and Mars go with Rayne.

Raven starts to learn the art of weapon smith to migrate to the Trigeda Kru and is

highly accepted. Forges a sword for Rayne in her absence.

A highly respected warrior that is in love with Rayne challenges Raven while Rayne is still

away. Rules are: Every Trigeda Kru member (what Raven is now) can challenge

another for their spouses and those have to fight on their own. Only option to

‘excuse’ from a fight is the promised one to step in.

Lexa can’t help Raven. When the fight is about to start, Rayne comes in on the back of

Mars and leaps into the “battle ring” to stop a blow towards Raven with her

daggers. She officially claims Raven as her own and asks Raven to show the

bracelet on her arm (she gave her this weeks earlier), what makes Rayne eligible to

fight for Raven (bracelets are like engagement rings).

The warrior knows he can’t take the challenge back and is about to be killed by the

woman he loves. Rayne is so in rage that she devastates the man, she releases him

when Raven calls her to stop.

Lexa and Clarke and Rayne and Raven + seconds and wolves heading to Polis to plan

the war against the Azgeda.

 

Lots of face smashing and smut and drama and shit and more smut.

 

Rayne and Raven as well as Lexa and Clarke adopting little girls and moving back to

the woods near Ton DC where Sky Kru and Trigeda Kru started to build a mixed

village near a lake.

 

Or something like that.

___________________________________________________________________________

 

**Wife notes**

 

*Looks good baby. Only found a few grammatical and/or spelling errors I fixed and changed a sentence or two around.

 

I love you, Liliana

 

*grumbles* baby, it’s broken!

 

No, actually, it’s not. You feel that way, strictly because you feel too much of yourself in Octavia

I need to fix that. I want her to be okay

She is okay, she just hasn’t fully accepted it yet.

 

I don’t know what you feel is wrong with this. It’s very well written, it gives enough of the Sheigedakru back story to draw interest and mystery, without revealing too much. It draws you in and makes you ask questions, which is what readers need to stay engaged besides their OTP’s.

 

I fixed the typo’s and made a couple minor edits, but it flows well and I really like it.

 

The only question I will raise: Is her story enough for Lexa and Rayne to declare war on them already? Or are we to assume they are being attacked 100% by the Shadow People too and that with her story is enough for them?

 

***stares longingly at the empty space* ^^**

 

I know it’s broken

 

It’s okay, I know you will fix it. :)

 

I’M AT WORK AND I SPILLED WATER OVER MY KEYBOARD FUCK BRB test okay sorry. You’re making me crazy. SO crazy. I wasn’t intending to let anyone else hear it. Forgive your wife.

 

Points for smoothness baby. Nothing to apologize. I love you

 

**Author's Note:**

> For questions and suggestions come and text us!
> 
> Nickolefox.tumblr.com  
> Lilianafox.tumblr.com


End file.
